{"id":7036,"date":"2013-04-11T18:42:05","date_gmt":"2013-04-11T22:42:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?p=7036"},"modified":"2013-04-11T18:42:05","modified_gmt":"2013-04-11T22:42:05","slug":"youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;You&#8217;re Not the Horrible Man I Married Anymore!&#8221;: me on Nick Hornby&#8217;s How to Be Good"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><blockquote><p>In the <a title=\"Cold Nights, Fiery\u00a0Hearts\" href=\"http:\/\/acculturated.com\/2013\/03\/26\/cold-nights-fiery-hearts\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">first installment<\/a> of this series on great novels about marriage we looked at a thousand-plus-page epic novel about life and death in medieval Norway: early death, mutilation, miserable weddings, war, prowling wolves, even the Black Plague itself. So you might be relieved by the book I\u2019ve chosen this time. Nick Hornby\u2019s 2001 <em>How to Be Good<\/em> has a bright yellow cover, a modern British setting, and a manageable three-hundred pages. This first impression is misleading. <em>How to Be Good<\/em> is a brutal portrait of marriage\u2014and an attack on virtue itself.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/acculturated.com\/2013\/04\/11\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">more<\/a><\/p>\n<p>And I didn\u2019t want to make this point in the review itself because it isn\u2019t really fair, but in reading How to Be Good I was powerfully reminded of this passage from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.vatican.va\/holy_father\/benedict_xvi\/encyclicals\/documents\/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20051225_deus-caritas-est_en.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><em>Deus Caritas Est<\/em><\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p align=\"LEFT\">A Eucharist which does not pass over into the concrete practice of love is intrinsically fragmented. Conversely, as we shall have to consider in greater detail below, the \u2018commandment\u2019 of love is only possible because it is more than a requirement. Love can be \u2018commanded\u2019 because it has first been given. \u2026The saints\u2014consider the example of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta\u2014constantly renewed their capacity for love of neighbour from their encounter with the Eucharistic Lord, and conversely this encounter acquired its realism and depth in their service to others.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the first installment of this series on great novels about marriage we looked at a thousand-plus-page epic novel about life and death in medieval Norway: early death, mutilation, miserable weddings, war, prowling wolves, even the Black Plague itself. So you might be relieved by the book I\u2019ve chosen this time. Nick Hornby\u2019s 2001 How [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1071,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,7],"tags":[25,203,29,250],"class_list":["post-7036","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-art","category-mackerel-snapping","tag-england-your-england","tag-i-dont-believe-in-modern-love","tag-marriage-2","tag-nick-hornby"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>&quot;You&#039;re Not the Horrible Man I Married Anymore!&quot;: me on Nick Hornby&#039;s How to Be Good<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In the first installment of this series on great novels about marriage we looked at a thousand-plus-page epic novel about life and death in medieval\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"&quot;You&#039;re Not the Horrible Man I Married Anymore!&quot;: me on Nick Hornby&#039;s How to Be Good\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In the first installment of this series on great novels about marriage we looked at a thousand-plus-page epic novel about life and death in medieval\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Eve Tushnet\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-04-11T22:42:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Eve Tushnet\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Eve Tushnet\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html\",\"name\":\"\\\"You're Not the Horrible Man I Married Anymore!\\\": me on Nick Hornby's How to Be Good\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2013-04-11T22:42:05+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-04-11T22:42:05+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415\"},\"description\":\"In the first installment of this series on great novels about marriage we looked at a thousand-plus-page epic novel about life and death in medieval\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"&#8220;You&#8217;re Not the Horrible Man I Married Anymore!&#8221;: me on Nick Hornby&#8217;s How to Be Good\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/\",\"name\":\"Eve Tushnet\",\"description\":\"Conservatism reborn in twisted sisterhood\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415\",\"name\":\"Eve Tushnet\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Eve Tushnet\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/author\/evetushnet\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"\"You're Not the Horrible Man I Married Anymore!\": me on Nick Hornby's How to Be Good","description":"In the first installment of this series on great novels about marriage we looked at a thousand-plus-page epic novel about life and death in medieval","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"\"You're Not the Horrible Man I Married Anymore!\": me on Nick Hornby's How to Be Good","og_description":"In the first installment of this series on great novels about marriage we looked at a thousand-plus-page epic novel about life and death in medieval","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html","og_site_name":"Eve Tushnet","article_published_time":"2013-04-11T22:42:05+00:00","author":"Eve Tushnet","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Eve Tushnet","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html","name":"\"You're Not the Horrible Man I Married Anymore!\": me on Nick Hornby's How to Be Good","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website"},"datePublished":"2013-04-11T22:42:05+00:00","dateModified":"2013-04-11T22:42:05+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415"},"description":"In the first installment of this series on great novels about marriage we looked at a thousand-plus-page epic novel about life and death in medieval","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2013\/04\/youre-not-the-horrible-man-i-married-anymore-me-on-nick-hornbys-how-to-be-good.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"&#8220;You&#8217;re Not the Horrible Man I Married Anymore!&#8221;: me on Nick Hornby&#8217;s How to Be Good"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/","name":"Eve Tushnet","description":"Conservatism reborn in twisted sisterhood","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415","name":"Eve Tushnet","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Eve Tushnet"},"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/author\/evetushnet"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7036","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1071"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7036"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7036\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7036"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7036"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7036"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}