{"id":9639,"date":"2015-05-04T23:09:46","date_gmt":"2015-05-05T03:09:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?p=9639"},"modified":"2015-05-04T23:09:46","modified_gmt":"2015-05-05T03:09:46","slug":"detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Detachment in Friendship&#8221;: I&#8217;m at Spiritual Friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>with a small post:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>A while ago I was talking to my spiritual director about some anxieties I was feeling in one of my friendships. This was a close friendship which had been tested by time (and by my own idiocy) but I was still having a hard time trusting that it would endure, and coping with the changes that were occurring in the friendship.<\/p>\n<p>My spiritual director nodded and said, \u201cIt sounds like you\u2019re \u2018attached\u2019 to this friend, in the sense that you\u2019re relying on the friendship for your well-being. This isn\u2019t a Christian approach. Only Jesus can always be there for you in the way that you need; what you want right now is understandable, but your friend really can\u2019t give it to you. You need to be willing to let go. Maybe the friendship will fade away. Maybe you need to invest more in your other friendships, as this one changes. Whatever happens to you, you will be loved and sheltered\u2013but by God, not by the specific other people you\u2019ve picked out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That was tough to hear, as you can imagine. But\u2026<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/spiritualfriendship.org\/2015\/05\/04\/detachment-in-friendship\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">more<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>with a small post: A while ago I was talking to my spiritual director about some anxieties I was feeling in one of my friendships. This was a close friendship which had been tested by time (and by my own idiocy) but I was still having a hard time trusting that it would endure, and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1071,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,7],"tags":[56,1264,11,30,110,27],"class_list":["post-9639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gay-catholic-whatnot","category-mackerel-snapping","tag-friendship","tag-gay-catholic-whatnot","tag-his-banner-over-me-was-love","tag-mackerel-snapping-2","tag-the-fruit-of-service-is-peace","tag-vocation"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>&quot;Detachment in Friendship&quot;: I&#039;m at Spiritual Friendship<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"with a small post: A while ago I was talking to my spiritual director about some anxieties I was feeling in one of my friendships. This was a close\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"&quot;Detachment in Friendship&quot;: I&#039;m at Spiritual Friendship\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"with a small post: A while ago I was talking to my spiritual director about some anxieties I was feeling in one of my friendships. This was a close\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Eve Tushnet\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-05-05T03:09:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Eve Tushnet\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Eve Tushnet\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html\",\"name\":\"\\\"Detachment in Friendship\\\": I'm at Spiritual Friendship\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-05-05T03:09:46+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-05-05T03:09:46+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415\"},\"description\":\"with a small post: A while ago I was talking to my spiritual director about some anxieties I was feeling in one of my friendships. This was a close\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"&#8220;Detachment in Friendship&#8221;: I&#8217;m at Spiritual Friendship\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/\",\"name\":\"Eve Tushnet\",\"description\":\"Conservatism reborn in twisted sisterhood\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415\",\"name\":\"Eve Tushnet\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Eve Tushnet\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/author\/evetushnet\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"\"Detachment in Friendship\": I'm at Spiritual Friendship","description":"with a small post: A while ago I was talking to my spiritual director about some anxieties I was feeling in one of my friendships. This was a close","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"\"Detachment in Friendship\": I'm at Spiritual Friendship","og_description":"with a small post: A while ago I was talking to my spiritual director about some anxieties I was feeling in one of my friendships. This was a close","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html","og_site_name":"Eve Tushnet","article_published_time":"2015-05-05T03:09:46+00:00","author":"Eve Tushnet","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Eve Tushnet","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html","name":"\"Detachment in Friendship\": I'm at Spiritual Friendship","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website"},"datePublished":"2015-05-05T03:09:46+00:00","dateModified":"2015-05-05T03:09:46+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415"},"description":"with a small post: A while ago I was talking to my spiritual director about some anxieties I was feeling in one of my friendships. This was a close","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/2015\/05\/detachment-in-friendship-im-at-spiritual-friendship.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"&#8220;Detachment in Friendship&#8221;: I&#8217;m at Spiritual Friendship"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/","name":"Eve Tushnet","description":"Conservatism reborn in twisted sisterhood","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/ca04686b93c92257f019070302a23415","name":"Eve Tushnet","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/be87ff28da150cb07788911c22e42ae2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Eve Tushnet"},"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/author\/evetushnet"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1071"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9639"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9639\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/evetushnet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}