![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/335\/2013\/07\/security.jpg\" "\\"security\\"")
<\/a>Most Christians have a pretty ambivalent relationship with our emotions.\u00a0 We just don\u2019t know what to feel<\/em> about our feelings.<\/em>\u00a0 Sometimes, emotions can be the source of a great deal of joy, satisfaction, and well-being.\u00a0 Other times they can wreck us with anxiety, despair, anger, and angst.\u00a0\u00a0 Of course, \u00a0there are still other times when we get upset with ourselves for being upset, angry at ourselves for being angry, or depressed about how sad we feel.<\/p>\nEmotions are a part of our body, of course, and, as such, the Theology of the Body<\/a> tells us that\u2013just like the rest of our body\u2013emotions are intended by God to work for our good and the good of others.\u00a0 But what about the times they don\u2019t? \u00a0What is the best way to think about our emotions and how can we do a better job managing them?<\/p>\n Emotion:\u00a0 What is it\u2026Really?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n It is surprisingly difficult to get consensus on what an emotion actually is.\u00a0 Biologists will tell you that emotions are just neurochemistry<\/a>.\u00a0 Psychologists will tell you that emotions are the results of the thoughts that run through your head<\/a>.\u00a0 Anthropologists will say that emotions are the way individuals know they are connected to some groups and disconnected from others<\/a>.\u00a0 All of these theories get at some aspect of emotions and some of these theories describe what emotions do, but none of those descriptions really do anything to tell us what emotions are.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n The new science of interpersonal neurobiology<\/a> (the study of how relationships affect the mind and brain) has proposed an interesting answer to the question, \u201cWhat is an emotion\u201d that cuts across all the different professional distinctions and gives the average person a simple but useful way of thinking about emotions so that they can get better control of them.<\/p>\n What is an emotion?<\/p>\n Emotions represent shifts in the degree of integration between or within the body, mind, and relationships.<\/em><\/p>\n Let me explain.<\/p>\n Warning\u2026Warning\u2026Disturbance on Level Three!<\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Think of your emotions as the security office in one of those caper movies, you know, like, say, Oceans 11<\/em><\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0 In a sense, your emotions are like that room filled with cameras, indicator lights and buzzers that let you see how well (or not) everything is working\u2013and working together (or not)\u2013from moment to moment.\u00a0\u00a0 Only, instead of a bank vault, elevator shaft, and the boss\u2019 office, \u00a0the security system represented by your emotions is the system that monitors how well your body, mind and relationships are working both on their own and with each other.\u00a0 \u00a0In other words, they \u201crepresent shifts in the degree of integration between or within the body, mind, and relationship.\u00a0\u00a0 Let me give a few examples\u2026<\/p>\n Let\u2019s say you feel \u201cemotionally close\u201d to someone.\u00a0 What does that mean? \u00a0\u00a0It means their thoughts and feelings are meshing well with your thoughts and feelings.\u00a0 In other words, you are experiencing a high degree of integration<\/em> between you and the other person and, as a result, you experience emotions that correspond with that integration, like happiness, affection, even love.<\/p>\n On the other hand, if you have a serious disagreement with that other person about something, your thoughts and feelings aren\u2019t meshing well.\u00a0 \u00a0As a result of this lesser degree of <\/em>integration between you, you might experience anger that they don\u2019t see things the way you do or you might fear that the relationship is in jeopardy.<\/p>\n In both of the above instances, \u00a0your emotions are monitoring the degree of integration<\/em> or disintegration<\/em> you are feeling in your relationship with someone from moment to moment.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s take another example.\u00a0\u00a0 What does it mean to be \u201cemotionally healthy?\u201d \u00a0Your degree of emotional health has to do with the degree of integration you experience between (and within) your body, mind and relationships.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>It represents how much your mind consistently desires and motivates you to do things that are good for your body and your relationships.<\/p>\n For instance, if your mind produces strong urges to do things that would endanger your sense of bodily integrity (for example; drink too much or take drugs that impair your functioning or risks that endanger your well-being) you have poor integration<\/em> between your mind and body.\u00a0 As a result, the \u201csecurity officer\u201d played by your emotions may send out a warning sign in the form of sadness, desperation, or emptiness.<\/p>\n Similarly, if your mind produces a strong urge to lash out at others, there may be a poor degree of integration between what your mind wants and what your relationships need in order to function well.\u00a0 As a result, your emotional security officer will send out warning sign in the form of feelings of estrangement, loneliness, or isolation.<\/p>\n As you can see, \u201cemotional health\u201d or \u201cemotional illness\u201d reflects the degree\u00a0 of integration or disintegration<\/em>, respectively, \u00a0that you are feeling between your mind, body, and relationships, from moment to moment.<\/p>\n The above represent examples of disintegration between your mind, body, and relationships.\u00a0 But the Emotional Security Office also monitors how each of these systems are working on their own.<\/p>\n For instance, if you are rested, your body, itself, is more likely to feel a greater degree of integration than if you slept poorly.\u00a0 Your emotions will probably reflect that degree of integration by making you feel content and peaceful.\u00a0 But if you slept poorly, your emotions reflect that poor degree of bodily integration by making you grumpy and irritable.\u00a0 In this case your emotions represent the degree of integration you are experiencing within<\/em> your body from moment to moment.<\/p>\n In short, emotions are the vast monitoring network God gave you enabling you to oversee, at a glance, how much unity (integration) and well-being you are encountering between and within your mind, body and relationships from moment to moment.<\/p>\n So What?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Too often, especially when we feel negative emotions, \u00a0we think of the feeling as the problem.\u00a0 \u201cI wish I could just stop feeling so anxious\/depressed\/overwhelmed.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The feeling isn\u2019t the problem.<\/em>\u00a0 The feeling is the warning light telling you to look<\/em> for the problem\u2013i.e., the disintegration that is causing the emotional alarm bells to ring.\u00a0 Imagine if the Head of Security in our caper movie heard all the lights and buzzers going off that indicated a robbery in progress and instead of dispatching guards to the scene just said, \u201cUgh!\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m so sick of listening to all these buzzers and seeing these flashing red lights!\u00a0\u00a0 Shut it all down!\u00a0 I just need a nap!\u201d\u00a0 Or, alternatively, what if the same Head of Security said, \u201cThese lights and buzzers are freaking me out!\u00a0 Let\u2019s just torch the whole room.\u00a0 You heard me!\u00a0 Burn the place down!\u201d<\/p>\n Obviously, those would be foolish choices.\u00a0 But we try to do the same things with our emotions!\u00a0 Because we tend to think of our feelings as the problems themselves, we try to ignore them or shut them down with rash decisions intended to make all the buzzing stop.\u00a0 We often forget to listen to our emotions and, metaphorically speaking, send a guard to check out what\u2019s going on at the vault, or on level four, or to the elevator (our mind, brain, or relationships) so that we can correct the problem.\u00a0 We forget that the buzzing will stop when the problem is solved.<\/p>\n Just like the warning indicator doesn\u2019t stop buzzing until the problem is resolved, your feelings won\u2019t change until the disintegration they are pointing to is adequately addressed.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Emotions and the Quest for Original Unity<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n The Theology of the Body tells us that, before the Fall, man, woman, and God existed in a state of\u00a0 Original Unity<\/a>.\u00a0 Presumably this unity didn\u2019t just exist between<\/em> them, but within<\/em> them as well.\u00a0 After all, you can\u2019t be at peace with others if you are at war with yourself.\u00a0 Before the Fall,\u00a0\u00a0 man and woman felt right (i.e., experienced a high degree of integration) within<\/em> themselves, as well as between<\/em> each other and God.\u00a0 That \u201cOriginal Unity\u201d is what our emotions are pointing to; what they want us to get back to.\u00a0 <\/em>The thief has entered the building, and the alarms will not cease until we have expelled him from the premises (Matt 24:43<\/a>).<\/em><\/p>\n Our emotions remind us of the need to strive for the Original Unity in which we were created to live.\u00a0 Emotions are not the enemy.\u00a0 In fact, they can serve us well as long as we don\u2019t try to shut them down by rashly cutting people out of our lives, or by drinking, drugging, indulging our passions, or taking foolish risks in a desperate, reactionary\u00a0attempt to plug our ears to the warning bells and blindfold ourselves so we can\u2019t see the flashing red lights.<\/p>\n What Can I DO?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n So the next time your emotions get the better of you, don\u2019t beat yourself up for being weak.\u00a0 Thank God that your emotions are doing exactly what he created them to do.\u00a0 And instead of asking, \u201cWhy do I feel this way?\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Ask, \u201cWhere is the most acute imbalance in or between my body, mind or relationships right now<\/em> and what can I do to begin addressing it?\u201d<\/p>\n Correct the disintegration in or between your body, mind, and relationships and your feelings will follow suit.<\/p>\n If you would like additional help in achieving emotional health, contact me, Dr. Greg Popcak, \u00a0to learn more about the Pastoral Solutions Institute\u2019s Catholic Tele-Counseling Services<\/a>.\u00a0 You can visit us online<\/a> or call 740-266-6461 to make an appointment today.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Most Christians have a pretty ambivalent relationship with our emotions.\u00a0 We just don\u2019t know what to feel about our feelings.\u00a0 Sometimes, emotions can be the source of a great deal of joy, satisfaction, and well-being.\u00a0 Other times they can wreck us with anxiety, despair, anger, and angst.\u00a0\u00a0 Of course, \u00a0there are still other times when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1437,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,61,18,16,93,79,208],"tags":[289],"class_list":["post-1407","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anxiety","category-counseling-2","category-depression","category-faith","category-mental-illness","category-mindfulness","category-theology-of-the-body","tag-interpersonal-neurobiology"],"yoast_head":"\n