{"id":2298,"date":"2014-05-08T09:05:30","date_gmt":"2014-05-08T14:05:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/?p=2298"},"modified":"2014-05-08T09:05:30","modified_gmt":"2014-05-08T14:05:30","slug":"the-devil-went-down-to-harvard-wapologies-to-charlie-daniels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2014\/05\/the-devil-went-down-to-harvard-wapologies-to-charlie-daniels\/","title":{"rendered":"The Devil Went Down to Harvard (w\/Apologies to Charlie Daniels)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

By now, you\u2019ve probably heard about the organization hosting a Black Mass at Harvard. \u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

My first reaction, of course, \u00a0was horror. \u00a0I\u2019m still horrified, but as I became more familiar with the story, the absurdity of the situation began to take center stage. \u00a0Here you have Lucien Greaves, a \u201cSatanist\u201d who doesn\u2019t actually believe in Satan (or the supernatural in general)hosting some sort of self-styled \u201cBlack Mass\u201d which he has never done before and, apparently, has no appreciation for the significance of, actually being stunned\u2013stunned, I tell you\u2013that anyone would be upset about his actions while simultaneously being unsure whether they are actually committing a sacrilege because, in his estimation, people from his group are both too lazy and apathetic to have bothered to try to procure a consecrated host\u2013at least he thinks<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Got all that? \u00a0Clearly, this is not Beelzebub\u2019s A-Team.<\/p>\n

Elizabeth Scalia,<\/a> in particular, has done the heavy lifting getting the facts of this story (go read the link to get caught up) and my fellow Patheosi have done an outstanding \u00a0job alternatively getting the word out, agitating, advocating, and fisking this horror (links to their posts also at Elizabeth\u2019s site). In short, having covered all the bases, they\u2019ve left little for me to do. \u00a0So, after a long day of watching them chase this story down, I posted a bit of comic relief on our private, Patheosi Facebook page as a way of both encouraging my blogging brethren and joining them in marveling at the utter cotton-headed ninny-muggin-ness<\/a> of the people behind this blasphemy; from Lucien & Co. all the way down to the erstwhile administrative geniuses at Harvard who both approved and then subsequently vaguely defended their actions by producing a statement that argues for their right to host a \u201cBlack Mass\u201d without mentioning the words, \u201cBlack Mass\u201d, to\u2026well, the mind swims.<\/p>\n

Anyhoo, my colleagues enjoyed my parody so much that they encouraged me to make it public (which is my way of saying that if you don\u2019t like it, blame them). \u00a0So, while others continue to do the noble work of raising awareness, encouraging prayer, and calling the faithful to action, \u00a0I will content myself with being \u00a0a court jester, pointing to the laughable banality of the intellects of the people staging this farce.<\/p>\n

With that, I give you, \u201cThe Devil Went Down to Harvard<\/em>\u201d (with apologies to Charlie Daniels<\/a>).<\/p>\n

THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO HARVARD (with apologies to Charlie Daniels)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom\u2026.<\/em><\/p>\n

Verse 1:<\/em>
\nThe Devil went down to Harvard, he was lookin\u2019 to git some press \/ When he happened upon some hapless rubes and said, \u201cHey, let\u2019s make a mess!\u201d \/ He said to Lucien Greaves, \u201cYo, dude, why don\u2019t you have a \u201cmass\u201d? You can paint it black! Go tell the world! Offend them all en masse<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

Well, Lucien said, \u201cY\u2019know, Old Scratch, you\u2019re just a metaphor \/ but fame\u2019s one thing my precious, gothic, po-mo, self adores. \/ I\u2019ll have your mass, although it\u2019s crass, and my publicist will boast, \u2018Guess what, y\u2019all, we got ourselves a consecrated host!'\u201d<\/p>\n

Dum, Dum, Dummmmmmmmmm. (Chicka-boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom\u2026.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Well, Lucien didn\u2019t realize that he was spittin\u2019 in the wind\/ He thought he\u2019d tweak some Jesus freaks and that would be the end \/ But then the kitchen got too hot, he couldn\u2019t stand the heat \/ That\u2019s just what comes from makin\u2019 buds with the Prince of all Deceit.<\/p>\n

Chorus:<\/em>
\nLucien didn\u2019t count on all the bad press that he got. \/ He played with matches, then he cried when things became too hot. \/ He thought that he was gonna be a latter-day Voltaire \/ It turned out, Fuzzy-Wuzzy had no hair!<\/p>\n

Verse 2:<\/em>
\nWell, once he realized just how his scat had hit the fan \/ Li\u2019l Lucien Greaves (Lord, bless his heart) just turned his tail and ran. \/ His publicist said, \u201cThere\u2019s no host! Dudes, we were just confused!\u201d \/ And Metaphorical Satan? He just sat back, all amused.<\/p>\n

So, let this be a lesson, all you would-be Satan spawn \/ Don\u2019t leave your mamma\u2019s basements or we\u2019ll tell you all, \u201cbe gone!\u201d \/ Stop playin\u2019 games with powers that you barely understand. \/ \u2018Cause chances are things won\u2019t work out quite just the way you planned. (to Chorus).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By now, you\u2019ve probably heard about the organization hosting a Black Mass at Harvard. \u00a0 My first reaction, of course, \u00a0was horror. \u00a0I\u2019m still horrified, but as I became more familiar with the story, the absurdity of the situation began to take center stage. \u00a0Here you have Lucien Greaves, a \u201cSatanist\u201d who doesn\u2019t actually believe […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1437,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Devil Went Down to Harvard (w\/Apologies to Charlie Daniels)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"By now, you've probably heard about the organization hosting a Black Mass at Harvard. \u00a0 My first reaction, of course, \u00a0was horror. \u00a0I'm still 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