{"id":3442,"date":"2015-12-04T10:19:06","date_gmt":"2015-12-04T16:19:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/?p=3442"},"modified":"2015-12-04T10:19:06","modified_gmt":"2015-12-04T16:19:06","slug":"faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/","title":{"rendered":"FAITHLESS: Why Don’t Millennials Believe?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u00a0\"shutterstock_270541406\"<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Why are \u201cnones\u201d on the rise?\u00a0 The answer might surprise you.<\/em><\/p>\n

I recently gave a radio interview about the latest Pew Center finding that \u201cnones\u201d (unchurched\/\u201dspiritual not religious\u201d) are the fastest growing demographic on the religious scene<\/a>.\u00a0 The interviewer asked me if I thought the increasingly secular culture was responsible for both the loss of faith and the breakdown of the family.\u00a0 I surprised him by saying that the research suggests it just might be the other way around\u2013that the rise in both nones and a more secular culture can be more directly tied to the high divorce rate.\u00a0 Here\u2019s why.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

Seekers VS. Samplers<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Today\u2019s Millennial \u201cnones\u201d are different than nones of the past.\u00a0 Previously, the unchurched were seekers.\u00a0 While they often spent some part of young adulthood unaffiliated with any denomination, they almost always landed somewhere\u2013usually the church of their childhood.\u00a0 By contrast, today\u2019s nones are resistant to landing.\u00a0 Rather than seekers, they are perpetual samplers, cobbling together their own hybrid spiritualities from the religious buffet.\u00a0 This difference in the character of contemporary \u201cnones\u201d speaks to a deep sense of spiritual ambivalence<\/em>.<\/p>\n

The Root of Spiritual Ambivalence<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong>Ken Pargament<\/a>, professor of religion and psychology at Bowling Green University has conducted ground-breaking research into what might be considered spiritual disorders; that is, unhealthy approaches to the natural human drive for meaning-making and significance.\u00a0 He found that spiritual ambivalence tends to be rooted in too-early disillusionment in one\u2019s parents.\u00a0 While healthy development requires that every child eventually <\/em>realize his or her parents aren\u2019t perfect, \u00a0when this disillusionment happens too early, children become spiritually self-protective. Part of a parent\u2019s jobs is to help children make sense of the world.\u00a0 Premature disillusionment tends to cause children to distrust any authority figure\u2019s role in helping them find meaning and significance in life.\u00a0 These children tend to believe that they and they alone have the right to decide what is and isn\u2019t true.\u00a0 Letting anyone else help them in this role can make them feel too vulnerable and even violated.\u00a0 They become, not sincere spiritual seekers, but rather perpetual spiritual samplers\u2013happy to taste from the religious buffet but eternally afraid to commit.\u00a0 A perfect example of this is Reba Riley\u2019s book, Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome:\u00a0 A Memoir of Humor and Healing<\/em><\/a>where she describes sampling 30 religions before her 30th birthday; a spiritual quest set off by her religious parents\u2019 divorce which caused her to discount and even resent the spiritual security she trusted in her early years.<\/p>\n

Between Two Worlds<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

But why would divorce\u2013especially if it is a so-called \u201cgood divorce\u201d (characterized by low conflict and relatively good parent-child rapport) cause such disillusionment?\u00a0 Elizabeth Marquardt\u2019s<\/a> study of over 1700 adult children of divorce points to an answer.\u00a0 She found that even in the best of circumstances, divorce causes children to live between two worlds\u2013Mom\u2019s World and Dad\u2019s World.\u00a0 When living in Mom\u2019s World, kids don\u2019t talk about life in Dad\u2019s World for fear of upsetting mom.\u00a0 Vice-versa when living in Dad\u2019s World.\u00a0 The only place these two all-important worlds come together is inside the child\u2019s own head. No matter how much they love their children, the divorced mom and dad can do very little to give their children a narrative that helps their life make sense.\u00a0 The child must learn to do this for him or herself.\u00a0 Having taken on this incredibly difficult role traditionally reserved for adults, is it any wonder that these children are loathe to let anyone besides themselves makes sense out of life, the universe, and everything?\u00a0 After all, they\u2019ve already been doing it for themselves their entire lives.<\/p>\n

Likewise, in an intact family, religious rituals help bind the family together.\u00a0 But in a divorced family they often become one more point of conflict between Mom\u2019s World and Dad\u2019s World. In this scenario, religion actually becomes a burden\u2013just one more difference between mom and dad that a child has to sort out for him or herself.<\/p>\n

Doomed?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>Does this mean that all children of divorce are doomed to be spiritual wanderers?\u00a0 Of course not.\u00a0 But there is no question that divorce places an unappreciated spiritual burden on children.\u00a0 Seen in this light, it is not at all surprising to see an article written by a group of adult children of divorce appear in America Magazine<\/em> opposing easy solutions for readmitting the divorced and remarried back into communion on the grounds that \u201cchildren need\u2026the church to stand with them and to speak the truth about what their parent or parents have done.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n

The bottom line is that a Church that wants to transform the culture and open hearts to Christ can never be soft on divorce. And the people who subscribe to such a faith could do much to save the world by turning their attention homeward and saving their marriages.<\/p>\n

Dr. Greg Popcak is the author of many books including the new, revised and expanded 2nd edition of For Better\u2026FOREVER! A Catholic Guide to Lifelong Marriage<\/a>.\u00a0 To learn more about his books, radio program and telecounseling services, visit www.CatholicCounselors.com<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Why are \u201cnones\u201d on the rise?\u00a0 The answer might surprise you. I recently gave a radio interview about the latest Pew Center finding that \u201cnones\u201d (unchurched\/\u201dspiritual not religious\u201d) are the fastest growing demographic on the religious scene.\u00a0 The interviewer asked me if I thought the increasingly secular culture was responsible […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1437,"featured_media":3443,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[100,16,318],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3442","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-atheism","category-faith","category-family-2"],"yoast_head":"\nFAITHLESS: Why Don't Millennials Believe?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Why are "nones" on the rise?\u00a0 The answer might surprise you. I recently gave a radio interview about the latest Pew Center finding that\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"FAITHLESS: Why Don't Millennials Believe?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Why are "nones" on the rise?\u00a0 The answer might surprise you. I recently gave a radio interview about the latest Pew Center finding that\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Faith on the Couch\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-12-04T16:19:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/335\/2015\/12\/shutterstock_270541406.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"512\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/\",\"name\":\"FAITHLESS: Why Don't Millennials Believe?\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-12-04T16:19:06+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-12-04T16:19:06+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/#\/schema\/person\/036d273c0c34123fe8376389dbd3178d\"},\"description\":\"\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Why are \\\"nones\\\" on the rise?\u00a0 The answer might surprise you. I recently gave a radio interview about the latest Pew Center finding that\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"FAITHLESS: Why Don’t Millennials Believe?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/\",\"name\":\"Faith on the Couch\",\"description\":\"with Dr. Greg Popcak\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/#\/schema\/person\/036d273c0c34123fe8376389dbd3178d\",\"name\":\"Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/46ea41a745d9d34daa699031274efd37?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/46ea41a745d9d34daa699031274efd37?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak\"},\"description\":\"Dr. Gregory Popcak directs the Pastoral Solutions Institute, an organization dedicated to helping Catholics find faith-filled solutions to marriage, family, and personal problems. Together with his wife, Lisa, he hosts More2Life Radio. He is the author of over a dozen books integrating psychological insights with our Catholic faith. For more info about books, tele-counseling and other resources, visit www.CatholicCounselors.com.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.catholiccounselors.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/author\/faithonthecouch\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"FAITHLESS: Why Don't Millennials Believe?","description":"\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Why are \"nones\" on the rise?\u00a0 The answer might surprise you. I recently gave a radio interview about the latest Pew Center finding that","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"FAITHLESS: Why Don't Millennials Believe?","og_description":"\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Why are \"nones\" on the rise?\u00a0 The answer might surprise you. I recently gave a radio interview about the latest Pew Center finding that","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/","og_site_name":"Faith on the Couch","article_published_time":"2015-12-04T16:19:06+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":512,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/335\/2015\/12\/shutterstock_270541406.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/","name":"FAITHLESS: Why Don't Millennials Believe?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/#website"},"datePublished":"2015-12-04T16:19:06+00:00","dateModified":"2015-12-04T16:19:06+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/#\/schema\/person\/036d273c0c34123fe8376389dbd3178d"},"description":"\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Why are \"nones\" on the rise?\u00a0 The answer might surprise you. I recently gave a radio interview about the latest Pew Center finding that","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/2015\/12\/faithless-why-dont-millennials-believe\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"FAITHLESS: Why Don’t Millennials Believe?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/","name":"Faith on the Couch","description":"with Dr. Greg Popcak","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/#\/schema\/person\/036d273c0c34123fe8376389dbd3178d","name":"Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/46ea41a745d9d34daa699031274efd37?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/46ea41a745d9d34daa699031274efd37?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak"},"description":"Dr. Gregory Popcak directs the Pastoral Solutions Institute, an organization dedicated to helping Catholics find faith-filled solutions to marriage, family, and personal problems. Together with his wife, Lisa, he hosts More2Life Radio. He is the author of over a dozen books integrating psychological insights with our Catholic faith. For more info about books, tele-counseling and other resources, visit www.CatholicCounselors.com.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.catholiccounselors.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/author\/faithonthecouch\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3442","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1437"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3442"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3442\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3443"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3442"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3442"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithonthecouch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3442"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}