~ ~ ~ In his presentation at the\u00a0<\/i><\/span>Symposium on Catholic Family Life and Spirituality<\/em>, (and in the upcoming book,\u00a0<\/span>Renewing Catholic Family Life,<\/em>\u00a0OSV, 2020) theologian Tim O\u2019Malley criticized the tendency to have an overly romanticized, Rockwellian vision of the \u201cdomestic church\u201d as a large, perfectly happy, family who drives a huge van, takes vacations to pilgrimage sites and whose home is chock-full of liturgically-oriented art-and-craft projects. He says:<\/p>\n This romanticized account of family life tends to bypass the experience of actual families. It is an almost idolatrous vision of family life that passes over the difficulties that a family will experience in becoming a civilization of love. There are families suffering from the plague of domestic violence. Some couples are unable to have children, experiencing the agony of infertility rather than the communion that leads to a large brood of Catholic children singing along to the Salve Regina. In the United States, migrant families are separated, attempting to make a life apart from each other\u2014sometimes by choice and sometimes because of political policy. Families in the United States suffer from poverty, unable to keep a roof over their heads let alone enjoy a meal together. Parents agonize as their children are arrested, struggle with alcohol and drug addiction, experience divorce, and even die prematurely.\u00a0 If the term \u201cdomestic church\u201d is to function prophetically within society, it must take into the fullness of the human condition\u2014not only an idealized, upper middle class account of Christian life.<\/em><\/p>\n Part of the problem, of course, is that the Church hasn\u2019t provided us with an official definition of what it means by the term, \u201cdomestic church.\u201d Inevitably, that causes people to make up their own definitions that either exclude huge swaths of people or cause them to worry that maybe even they don\u2019t belong.<\/p>\n Even so, looking at the way the Church has related to this phrase over the years, I would suggest that while \u201cdomestic church\u201d is a specific term, it isn\u2019t an exclusive one. Just like the Kingdom of God is both already present and not-yet-fulfilled, the domestic church lives in a state of constant tension between what it\u2019s meant to be and the messy world it actually lives in.\u00a0 And both can be legitimate expressions of domestic-church life.<\/p>\n Domestic Church: A Working Definition<\/strong><\/p>\n My own working definition of \u201cdomestic church\u201d is,\u00a0\u201ca household of persons united to God and each other through the sacramental life of the Church, and committed to living out the Christian\/Trinitarian vision of love in their home and in the world.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n In this vision of the domestic church, grace supersedes both blood and outward appearances. Being a domestic church is less about how you\u2019re related to each other and what your household looks like from the outside, and more about what you are working together to help each other become through a shared experience of the sacraments and a life of grace.<\/p>\n Icons of the Trinity<\/b><\/p>\n Of course, Christian families that are united through the sacrament of marriage do deserve special consideration and respect because of their role as \u201cicons of the Trinity.\u201d \u00a0We honor these families, not because Catholicism has a\u00a0<\/span>Leave It To Beaver<\/em><\/a>\u00a0<\/span>fetish, but because every Christian is called to exemplify the love that lives at the heart of the Trinity in all we do.<\/p>\n For all its many faults and imperfections, a Christian family that is both united through the sacrament of marriage and genuinely intentional about living out the Christian vision of love in their homes really is the best witness to the Communion of Saints that we can manage to create this side of Heaven. \u00a0Even so, this kind of family doesn\u2019t earn this \u201cpride of place\u201d (for want of a better way to put it)on its own merits or because of outward appearances.\u00a0Rather,\u00a0<\/i><\/span>\u00a0I would\u00a0suggest\u00a0that a domestic church rooted in the\u00a0unity and grace afforded by the Sacrament of Matrimony is honorable because of what it represents and what it is aspiring to become<\/i>. \u00a0These families are on exactly the same journey that every other Christian\u2013and Christian household\u2013is on. \u00a0We look to these families\u2013not as an idol or a finish line\u2013but as a living sign<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>that even in the face of our brokenness and sinfulness, it is still both possible and worthwhile to strive to exemplify Trinitarian love in our own lives and relationships.<\/p>\n Broadening Our Understanding<\/strong><\/p>\n But even if all the above is true, Domestic Church life does not begin and end with intact, married households with children. \u00a0I would argue that any Christian household that is 1)\u00a0<\/i><\/span>united to God and each other through the sacramental life of the Church<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>and 2) intentionally and actively trying to live out Christ\u2019s love in their relationships with each other and the world<\/em>\u00a0<\/i><\/span>is a domestic church. The more you can say this about your household\u2013whatever its composition\u2013the more \u201cdomestic churchy\u201d your domestic church is.<\/p>\n It\u2019s exactly this broader understanding of \u201cdomestic church\u201d that gave rise to religious communities and monasteries. Historically, these Christian communities were considered to be a kind of domestic church. \u00a0Christianity overturned the notion of what constituted a family. \u00a0The traditional Roman view of family was tribal. \u00a0If you were related by blood, you were in the club. \u00a0If you weren\u2019t, you were out. \u00a0Pure and simple. Cut and dried.<\/p>\n But in the Christian view of family, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. \u00a0Religious communities and monasteries were never intended to be alternative forms of clergy, or even a kind of Religious SuperLaity<\/i>. They were just a different variation on the Christian understanding of what a family actually is. That\u2019s why religious communities have \u201cbrothers\u201d and \u201csisters\u201d and \u201cfathers\u201d and \u201cmothers.\u201d \u00a0 The Christian family is not defined by blood\u00a0<\/span>but by grace<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>and the desire of the members of a particular household to support each other in living the Trinitarian vision of love in their lives.<\/p>\n The Domestic Church: What\u2019s It All About?<\/strong><\/p>\n All that said, being a domestic church requires effort and intention. \u00a0The\u00a0<\/span>Liturgy of the Eucharist<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>doesn\u2019t just happen because you walk into a church building and stand around with a bunch of other people. \u00a0You have to actually be intentional about celebrating the\u00a0<\/span>Liturgy of the Eucharist<\/em>. \u00a0In a similar way, a household doesn\u2019t automatically celebrate the\u00a0<\/span>Liturgy of Domestic Church Life<\/em><\/a>\u00a0<\/span>by living together under the same roof and sharing a data plan. \u00a0To be a domestic church\u2013whatever your household looks like on the outside\u2013the people under your roof have to \u00a0be\u00a0<\/span>about<\/em>\u00a0the business of supporting each other in living a sacramental life and exemplifying Trinitarian love. \u201cDomestic Church\u201d is more verb than noun.<\/p>\n No\u00a0Family? You Still Belong<\/strong><\/p>\n But how do people without their own families fit into this model? \u00a0 Again, the Christian vision of family as domestic church is different from the secular \u201cRoman\u201d idea of family. \u00a0In the secular vision of family, if you don\u2019t have one, you\u2019re plumb out of luck. \u00a0But in the Christian vision of \u201cfamily-as-domestic-church<\/i>,\u201d everyone who loves Christ is part of God\u2019s family. The domestic church is a physical representation of that larger, broader community where we all belong to one another in Christ (c.f., Rom 12:5).<\/p>\n In the early Church, if you were single, or a widow, or an orphan, or you lost your biological family for any reason (or if your biological family was attempting to pull you away from the Family of God), it was\u00a0<\/span>expected<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>that other Christian households would welcome you to be an active and integral part of their domestic church. I\u2019d suggest that this is the logical, radical, conclusion of what I call \u201cthe Rite of Reaching Out.\u201d<\/a> If anyone believes themselves to be without a family, they need to be invited to become full, integrated members of our own, particular, domestic churches. No Christian should ever feel that they are not part of our family. \u00a0If they do, we have failed the Body of Christ.<\/p>\n The Way Forward<\/strong><\/p>\n As the world continues to wrestle with what it means to be family, Christians need to overcome our lazy tendency to simply take secular, \u201cRoman\u201d and contemporary secular models of family and slap the label \u201cdomestic church\u201d on them. \u00a0We need to rediscover and reassert the unique identity, mission, and dignity that constitutes the domestic church; an intentional community of persons united to God and each other through the sacramental life of the Church and dedicated to living out the Christian\/Trinitarian vision of love in their relationships with each other and the world.<\/p>\n Dr. Greg Popcak is the executive director of both<\/em>\u00a0<\/i><\/span>Catholic Counselors.com\u00a0<\/span><\/a>and the<\/em>\u00a0<\/i><\/span>Peyton Institute for Domestic Church Life.<\/a>\u00a0 The author of over 20 books, you can hear him and his wife, Lisa, \u00a0on their radio program,<\/em>\u00a0<\/i><\/span>More2Life,<\/a><\/em>\u00a0<\/i><\/span>airing each weekday at 10amE\/9C on the EWTN Radio Network and SiriusXM130.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The following article is part of our ongoing series on the Liturgy of Domestic Church Life. \u00a0To learn more, join our Facebook discussion group: \u00a0CatholicH\u014cM (Households on Mission)\u2013Family Discipleship. ~ ~ ~ There is a perception that the term \u201cdomestic church\u201d is an exclusive club that only admits happily married couples with children. \u00a0Nothing could […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1437,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,318],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-faith","category-family-2"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nThere is a perception that the term \u201cdomestic church\u201d is an exclusive club that only admits happily married couples with children. \u00a0Nothing could ![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/335\/2020\/05\/hand-love-300x212.jpg\")
<\/a>further from the truth.<\/p>\n