{"id":3684,"date":"2013-09-27T05:53:36","date_gmt":"2013-09-27T11:53:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithwalkers\/?p=3684"},"modified":"2013-09-27T05:53:36","modified_gmt":"2013-09-27T11:53:36","slug":"dear-god-why-im-breaking-up-with-doing-good","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/faithwalkers\/2013\/09\/dear-god-why-im-breaking-up-with-doing-good\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear God: Why I’m Breaking Up with Doing Good"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a>They say breaking up is hard to do. Especially when the romance is between our own foolish hearts and our ministry efforts. Sometimes it feels as if we should write a \u201cDear God,\u201d letter.<\/p>\n

When Peter Greer and I spoke recently [See my Interview with Peter Greer of Hope International<\/a>] about his book The Spiritual Danger of Doing Good<\/a>\u00a0we touched on a topic that has come up a lot recently. I call it \u201cIdentity Withdrawal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Incredibly well-written, Peter\u2019s book manages to find that special combination of being soul-searchingly simple yet disturbingly convicting. If you are a ministry leader or just think that you are involved in doing anything good, you should buy it now. I found his chapter \u201cWho Am I When I\u2019m Not Me?\u201d to be a most uncomfortable one. And that\u2019s a good thing.<\/p>\n

Peter\u2019s point is that often we get our identity, who we are, so wrapped up in what we do that when what we do goes away, we don\u2019t really know who we are. Hence my moniker of Identity Withdrawal. The best way I can describe it is to say that it feels like a painful relationship ending. Like breaking up.<\/p>\n

Breaking Up with Doing Good<\/h3>\n

When I shared this idea recently with a friend who serves in a well-known ministry here in Atlanta, I was surprised to hear he knew exactly what I was talking about. As the ministry has grown, he has been less involved in areas that he had been a big part of before. Even though he knows the change is a good thing \u2013 both for himself and the organization \u2013 it\u2019s still so hard to say goodbye to cherished roles and responsibilities. And it\u2019s humbling to see others getting it done without so much as a polite notification in his directions or even a byline of credit.<\/p>\n

Last year when I stepped away from serving as a Christian school principal<\/a> after a dozen years there, I confess I felt some of that same identity withdrawal. What do you mean you don\u2019t need me? How could you possibly survive without me?<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s what makes it so crazy: I didn\u2019t want to be there. I knew God was calling me to something different that would be a better fit for my strengths in His Kingdom. Yet it still bothered me that I had to let go of what had been mine for so long.<\/p>\n

Maybe that was the problem. I thought of it as mine.<\/p>\n

Why Breaking Up is Hard to Do<\/h3>\n

Now that I\u2019ve had some time to get perspective on my own selfish thoughts, I can pinpoint a few reasons why we feel the way we do when breaking up with doing good. See if you can identify with any of these causes for identity withdrawal:<\/p>\n