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If there\u2019s anything I\u2019ve learned about relationships, it\u2019s that there\u2019s always two sides to a story. The relationship, whatever it may have been, between Kavanaugh and Ford is no exception. She claims he sexually assaulted her. He claims he didn\u2019t. <\/span><\/p>\n What is unnerving is that that\u2019s as far as the facts go, thus far. Christine Blasey Ford cannot remember the date, the time, or the place of the alleged sexual assault. But in going public with the accusation, she has managed to halt an entire confirmation hearing for the Supreme Court Justice of the United States nominee. She\u2019s also managed to tarnish an otherwise pristine moral record of that nominee, the man we know as Brett Kavanaugh. <\/span><\/p>\n Herein lies the problem. Herein lies the reason I\u2019m becoming increasingly ashamed to be called a woman, and even more ashamed of the #MeToo movement and where it has take us. When a woman has the ability to come out and alter the course of a country for what may be multiple decades based on a vague, (thus far) proof-less accusation of sexual assault, women\u2019s \u201cempowerment\u201d has gone too far. It should not be possible to throw out an accusation as muddy and murky as the Huang He, and as a result, put the kabosh on confirmation hearings while demanding everything at those hearings be as cushy as Goldilocks desired when she broke in and raided a house owned by three bears.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Not only has Ford not given any indication of proof, but she has insisted that the hearing be held her way, on her timing, with only the people she chooses. Why? Is that what a victim supposedly looks like? Is she trying to appear fragile? Hurt? Afraid? She does indeed appear to be all of those things, and if her story is true, for good reason. But she also appears dishonest and controlling. She\u2019s alerted the entire world that a terrible injustice was done to her, and the world, apparently, is supposed to bow the knee, shed the tear, and oh yeah \u2026 get rid of Kavanaugh, a highly pro-life, conservative judge with a squeaky clean background as far as anyone <\/span>knows. <\/span><\/i>All without an ounce of proof. All because she is woman, hear her roar.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n You can\u2019t pull the pin on an 11th hour grenade and throw it in the middle of Senate confirmation hearings based on vague accusations. I mean, <\/span>you can,<\/span><\/i> obviously. But you shouldn\u2019t. Doing so says something about <\/span>your<\/span><\/i> character, about the way <\/span>you<\/span><\/i> might normally conduct yourself, and what <\/span>you<\/span><\/i> think of a decent family man\u2019s life and family \u2013 mainly that you have an unrestricted power over it, simply because you\u2019re a woman. <\/span><\/p>\n Though I never chose to participate in the #MeToo movement, I could have. I thought it had potential to be a good and healing. My fear though, was that feminists would take it to an unhealthy level. Well, we\u2019re there, at least in Ford\u2019s case. The situation between Ford and Kavanaugh has brought a sickness to the surface and exposed it. Women officially have enough power to throw out a hazy, imprecise, unclear, ambiguous claim about a high profile man, be taken seriously enough to possibly halt the direction of The United States of America, and forever tarnish that man\u2019s reputation \u2013 in spite of that reputation being otherwise clean. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n And that\u2019s wrong. <\/span><\/p>\n If a woman is going to accuse anyone of sexual assault, she needs to know her stuff, have her proof, and she needs to comply with normal legal practice. To be an accuser is gravely serious. To be an accuser is to have a man\u2019s life in your hands, as well as the life of his family. To be an accuser is to be willing to destroy. To be an accuser is, in this case, to be willing to alter the course of history. To be an accuser is not a joke. It\u2019s not a game. It\u2019s as serious as it gets. <\/span><\/p>\n On the flip side, to be an attacker is gravely serious. To be an attacker is to have a woman\u2019s life in your hands, as well as the life of her family. To be an attacker is to be willing to destroy. I know, because I was assaulted multiple times, before the age of seventeen. I was not drunk. Those who assaulted me were not drunk. I don\u2019t know about them, but I remember everything. The place, the time of day, the house, what was said, what was not said, what they did to me, and what I did in return. I know what led up to it, and I know what didn\u2019t lead up to it. I know without a doubt who is culpable and who is not. I know why I didn\u2019t tell, and why I did tell. I know why I didn\u2019t go to the police, and why I\u2019ve never gone to the police since, though I had an opportunity to more than twenty years after the assaults took place. <\/span><\/p>\n First fact is, I could destroy two men\u2019s lives right now, at the drop of a vague, weak accusation. Or could I? The men who hurt me are not well known. One is now a family man, with three beautiful kids and wife. He apologized to me not long after the incident, and I have no desire to destroy him. Punch him, maybe. But not destroy him. The other is working the system of the state we both live in, living off of my tax dollars, buying drugs to numb his (cough*) pain, and God knows what else. I admittedly, in my flesh, have a desire to destroy him at times. What he did, in some ways, damaged me for life. But as I\u2019ve worked through the past, I\u2019ve ultimately come to the conclusion that vengeance is God\u2019s, He will repay (Rom. 12:19). What I could conjure up as a just and adequate punishment is not near as just and adequate as what God would conjure up, and I choose to leave it in His hands. God is a far better Judge than any earthly judge I might (but probably couldn\u2019t) convince to look at my case, and I trust Him to repay. <\/span><\/p>\n Second fact is, I don\u2019t have proof. I didn\u2019t go to the police immediately afterward. I have my word. My attackers have theirs. If they were in the running to be a SCOTUS judge, I\u2019d probably have a case. But in reality, I don\u2019t have a case at all. Statutes of limitations play a part (and for good reason). Lack of evidence plays a part. Lack of notoriety plays a part. Perhaps reality for the common person and reality for the famous person are two different things, but I hope not. I hope the justice system will not fail us. I hope they require solid proof, and not mere hearsay coupled with an iffy testimony. <\/span><\/p>\n In closing, Ford has yet to provide proof. If she does, then we look at things in a different light. If she doesn\u2019t, we need to ask ourselves why her word is more valid than Kavanaugh\u2019s (hint: it\u2019s not). Meanwhile, we need to be considering what should or shouldn\u2019t be required to smash a man\u2019s career, family, and reputation to smithereens. Because if Ford has done that without any intention of at some point offering solid proof? She\u2019s needs to be moved from plaintiff to defendant. <\/span><\/p>\n One word against another isn\u2019t good enough. Not thirty years later. Not in this situation. Not ever.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0 If there\u2019s anything I\u2019ve learned about relationships, it\u2019s that there\u2019s always two sides to a story. The relationship, whatever it may have been, between Kavanaugh and Ford is no exception. She claims he sexually assaulted her. He claims he didn\u2019t. What is unnerving is that that\u2019s as far as the facts go, thus far. 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