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My husband and I celebrated twenty-nine years of marriage this week. He has always been the breadwinner. I\u2019ve always been the wife and mom who (sometimes) stays home. When I was very young, my goals included those two things: get married, have a family. Even for my day, I was pretty old-fashioned. Today, I suppose I\u2019m even more antiquated in my ways, depending on what tribe you hang with and talk to most. <\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s rare to find women who are solely dedicated to domesticity and the rearing of their families. Even those who \u201cstay home\u201d are very often running some kind of side business to supplement their husband\u2019s income. I\u2019m convinced this is partly due to a desire to work and be otherwise \u201cfulfilled\u201d, and partly due to a true financial need. <\/span><\/p>\n My point today is not to say that working outside the home is wrong, working part-time inside the home is wrong, or that being a full time wife and mom is best. My point is only that I often sit back and watch the unhappiness of the American woman and wonder why. Why are they so angry, unhappy, so willing to put themselves out there in embarrassing ways by burning bras or sporting vagina hats and costumes while spewing hateful rhetoric? Especially while I quietly work in my humble abode, cooking, washing dishes, laundering, paying bills, nursing loved ones back to health, babysitting grandkids, mopping floors, sewing a grandchild a new doll, sweeping out the garage, watering the lawn, getting groceries, running to the bank, or many other duties that make up the \u201cjob\u201d of what some unknowing, inarticulate person dubbed \u201cbeing a stay at home mom.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n It would seem those unhappy women and I are living in two different worlds. But no. We are all Americans, living under the same system. <\/span><\/p>\n I constantly get asked what I do for a living, and when I say \u201cI don\u2019t work outside the home\u201d (because I don\u2019t know how else to say it) in return I always hear \u201coh yeah, that\u2019s cool\u201d, as if maybe I\u2019ve a need to be validated \u2013 or something. <\/span><\/p>\n Well, I don\u2019t have that need. Not anymore. There was a time I did, when I was young. Though determined to follow my childhood dreams of being a mom and wife, I had periods of doubt and uncertainty as to whether being up to my eyeballs in never-ending chores was my \u201ctrue calling.\u201d Those times of doubt hit hardest when I was tired or sick or both, and I just wanted a vacation in Hawaii and to be able to sit on the commode in peace for goodness sake. But now that I\u2019ve raised three wee ones, I can look back and say I did what I was called to, and it was worth every sleepless night, every dirty diaper, every snotty nose, every bout of cleaning up the contents of sick stomachs, every desperate prayer uttered to God to save three children\u2019s souls from Hell, their minds from the trickery of the Devil, the world, or their own wickedness, and their bodies from illness or injury. At times, I prayed all of that at once because things were that desperate. And I guess I look back on the last twenty-nine years of marriage and twenty-eight of being a parent, and I honestly feel satisfied. Not because it was easy or always rewarding and glamorous, but because I know I\u2019ve been used by God to make a difference in the lives of my husband and children. <\/span><\/p>\n I don\u2019t know any other lifestyle I could live to make me feel more fulfilled. It hasn\u2019t been glamorous, depending on what one means by \u201cglamorous.\u201d I\u2019m sure it hasn\u2019t been as successful, monetarily speaking, as it would have been had we decided to put the kids in daycare, and hire a cook and maid with the proceeds of me <\/span>bringin\u2019 home the bacon, fryin\u2019 it up in a pan, and never letting the hubs forget he\u2019s a man.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n But it has been <\/span>good. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n I trust it will continue to be good, because I\u2019m not going anywhere. Our plan was always for me to stay home until the children were grown, and then I would work and we would save up for retirement with my paycheck. But lo and behold, chronic illness struck me, and periodic illness strikes my husband. So \u2026 we are hobbling our way to retirement. I believe we will make it, and that belief stems from twenty-nine years of watching God take care of us in our weaknesses, while also working as hard as we can to provide what we can. <\/span><\/p>\n We are grateful to be able to live near all three of our children, all six grandchildren, and also my Mom, who will live with us until her last day on earth. To be honest, my domestic duties haven\u2019t slowed down. I never get a to-do list accomplished for the day, because the saying rings true: a woman\u2019s work is never done. If it\u2019s not one thing, it\u2019s another. If one kid doesn\u2019t need something, the other does. And on the rare occasion that none of the kids need anything, Mom or husband pipe up with a request. At times, they all need something, which is when I tell some of them to go away (haha). Or wait their turn. <\/span><\/p>\n Well, I\u2019ve been interrupted five times by one child, a husband, and an important business phone call during the penning of this blog. And now, kitchen duty calls, So onward and upward I go in my calling, with a glad heart, convinced that though the domestic road be treacherous at times, the journey ends having lived a life well, in denial of self, and in service to others.<\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n **Photo by Mariana Vusiatytska<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0 My husband and I celebrated twenty-nine years of marriage this week. He has always been the breadwinner. I\u2019ve always been the wife and mom who (sometimes) stays home. When I was very young, my goals included those two things: get married, have a family. Even for my day, I was pretty old-fashioned. Today, I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2920,"featured_media":2532,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[876,870,64,524,867,873],"class_list":["post-2529","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-careers","tag-domesticity","tag-marriage","tag-stay-at-home-moms","tag-women-working","tag-working-outside-the-home"],"yoast_head":"\n