{"id":2631,"date":"2018-11-07T21:30:08","date_gmt":"2018-11-08T04:30:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/felixculpa\/?p=2631"},"modified":"2018-11-08T01:33:04","modified_gmt":"2018-11-08T08:33:04","slug":"farewell-florencee-and-virginia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/felixculpa\/2018\/11\/farewell-florencee-and-virginia.html","title":{"rendered":"Farewell, Florencee and Virginia"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2634 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/757\/2018\/11\/suhyeon-choi-104926-unsplash.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"513\" height=\"768\"><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I apologize for being so quiet lately. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A few days <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/felixculpa\/2018\/09\/between-florence-and-trump-were-probably-all-going-to-die.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">after I wrote about my Great Aunt Florencee<\/a>, she died in a car accident. I continued to write through that news, my mourning, and helping Mom through her mourning, even though I was distracted. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Six weeks after Florencee\u2019s death, my Aunt Virginia died suddenly from a heart attack. Maybe two unexpected, shocking deaths so close together has discouraged me from sitting down at the computer and knocking out highly opinionated, religious and political blog posts. Maybe I\u2019m tired. Maybe I can\u2019t work through my own grief, help my Mom through hers, and have energy left over to talk to you. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Clearly, I can\u2019t nail any reason I\u2019ve not written, other than I\u2019m weary and a weary writer is rarely a good writer. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Florencee, Virginia, and my Mom were all very close in age. Growing up, they hung together, played together, made lots of trouble together. Mom claims Florencee and Virginia\u2019s tendency was often to leave her behind, and she\u2019s upset with them because even in their deaths, they left her behind, haha (sick humor). I told Mom to cheer up. In Heaven, Florencee gets the 1st place ribbon, Virginia the 2nd place ribbon, and Mom can have the 3rd place ribbon. Just like old times. Some day, it\u2019ll be great. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Virginia was the oldest, then Florencee, then Mom. Florencee and Mom were a year apart, almost to the day. If my math is right, Virginia was roughly eight months older than Florencee. Florencee was also the youngest of nine children. My Grandma was the oldest of those children. And so, when Great Grandma had Florencee and then shortly after lost her husband to an unexpected death (am I sensing a theme here?), my Grandma ended up caring for Florencee a lot, as Great Grandma was emotionally fragile and in need of finding a way to support herself and nine children. Well, less than nine, since Grandma and a one or two of her siblings were married with their own kids by then. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All that to say that Florencee, Virginia, and Mom became the female version of the Three Musketeers rather quickly. Mom tells the story of Florencee and Virginia loading up their baby cousins in their little doll buggies and heading down the road like a couple of mommy bosses, while Aunt Sylvia chased them down screaming \u201cHey! Bring back my babies!\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Where was Mom?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Trailing behind, of course. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Left to catch up with her stubby little legs. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The nine children are all gone now. And with Virginia\u2019s death, the next generation has begun to dwindle, not waiting even two months after the last generation expired. It\u2019s depressing. A chapter of my life is closing, and once the generation before me is gone, of course it\u2019ll be my generation\u2019s turn to expire. Maybe sooner, if we can\u2019t stop this trend of expiring unexpectedly at either young or fairly young ages. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Florencee\u2019s husband, in 1978 died tragically and unexpectedly as well. Unexpected deaths truly do run in our family, for some reason. Four out of the nine children that Great Grandma gave birth to died either unexpectedly or in accidents of some sort. What is wrong with us that we can\u2019t just slowly waste away like the majority of humanity? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Anyway, it\u2019s pretty dark in my head right now. Death comes unexpectedly sometimes, and I\u2019m weary of being related to so many who go out that way. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s even real to me yet that Virginia is gone. She\u2019s one of those people that has <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">always<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> been there. My entire life. Her kids were my closest cousins growing up. We had more fun than human beings should be allowed to have. Virginia gave me Jackie, who broke the trend of me being the only female cousin in the vicinity and thereby having no other option than to play tackle football and participate in other distinctly male shenanigans. My pigtails were imaginary horse reins for longer than I\u2019m willing to write about. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Virginia was always kind to me, except for the seven million times her camera flash blinded me. I\u2019d love to see her picture stash, which I\u2019m positive would qualify her as Guinness Book of World Records winner for Lady With The Most Photographs. Her laugh was hysterically funny. Even if you didn\u2019t find what she was laughing about funny, you\u2019d laugh anyway, just because her laugh made you laugh. She was always worried about dirt. If you visited, you\u2019d get apologized to relentlessly throughout your visit \u201cfor the mess,\u201d even though her house was the cleanest you\u2019d been in since Nam. It was certainly cleaner than what you lived in every day. And if she cooked something for a family get together, she\u2019d break out the apologies once again, because she didn\u2019t think she cooked it long enough, or it wasn\u2019t crisp enough, and she maybe forgot the salt because the phone rang while she was making it, and, and, and \u2026. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But whatever the dish, we loved it because it tasted like something Martha Stewart would whip up. So while the apologies flew, we simply nodded and helped ourselves. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">She did have a lead foot when she was younger. Then, during one of the races she and my Uncle participated in, she crashed and banged herself up, which (as I learned at the funeral, because I wasn\u2019t born at the time of this story) made it difficult for her to carry her firstborn son in her arms. After that, she determined family was more important than racing and promptly went from having a lead foot to having a feather foot and would drive <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">at least <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">fifteen to twenty miles under the speed limit, while also avoiding any busy roads, bumpy roads, curvy roads \u2013 any roads she deemed dangerous. Which, come to think of it was all roads. She thought she was being safe. Her passengers thought she was just a <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">weeeeee<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> bit paranoid. By the end of the ride, they wanted to rip their hair out. And Virginia\u2019s hair out. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Virginia struggled in life. I never knew the cause of a lot of her suffering, but I saw it in her eyes, her emotions, and the way she acted out those emotions sometimes. But by God\u2019s grace and strength, she managed to find ways to love in the midst of her struggles. And I loved her for that. I\u2019ll always love her for that. Her kindness, her laugh, and her giving spirit will live on in my heart always. The way she lived her last three to five years were especially inspiring. She calmed, emotionally. She apologized to people who deserved on apology. She tried harder than she\u2019d ever tried in some difficult relationships. And most importantly, she fell in love like never before \u2013 with Jesus. When she went, I know she was immediately ushered into the arms of a faithful Savior who saw her through until the end. He chose to take her without a lot of physical suffering, and for that, I\u2019m grateful. But for those of us left behind, it hurts to have her taken from us so suddenly. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Two days before she died, she texted me. She inquired about Mom, so I told her that she doesn\u2019t get out of the house much at all anymore because her legs don\u2019t work well and she can neither sit or stand for long periods of time. She replied that she was sorry to hear that, and that \u201call she does these days is run around like crazy.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I thought \u201cWhat else is new? You\u2019ve done that since I\u2019ve known you, Aunt Ginny.\u201d (She didn\u2019t like being called Ginny, but she made an exception where I was concerned.)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I hope she\u2019s still running around like crazy, loving people like she did so well here. If I was God, I\u2019d put her with the babies and young children. She adored all of them, no matter what family they came from, and it would seem appropriate that she be surrounded by littles throughout eternity. I feel fortunate to be one of those littles. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019m happy for her. Sad for me. And that\u2019s just the way it\u2019s going to be for a while. I honestly feel like going out, getting a new pet, and naming her Virginia. Or maybe one of my kids could have another baby girl and assign her Virginia\u2019s namesake. Better yet, let\u2019s have two more girls and name them Florencee and Virginia. Twins, maybe? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Too much? <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Fine. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I miss you, Virginia. May you and Florencee, who I know you loved dearly and missed fiercely, receive Heavenly buggies and forever stroll down Apostle Paul Lane with all the beautiful babies. It\u2019s amazing you two are together now. Perhaps your grief would have been lighter here on earth had you known you\u2019d join Florencee just six weeks after she died. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Life is strange. Death can be even stranger. Praise be to God who knows the whys behind every life and death event, and has a plan far greater than we can even imagine. One day, we\u2019ll all understand. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Until then, pass the Kleenex.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>**Photo by <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/photos\/G9XMLUAjETM?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Suhyeon Choi<\/a> on <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/search\/photos\/three-old-ladies?utm_source=unsplash&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_content=creditCopyText\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 I apologize for being so quiet lately. A few days after I wrote about my Great Aunt Florencee, she died in a car accident. I continued to write through that news, my mourning, and helping Mom through her mourning, even though I was distracted. Six weeks after Florencee\u2019s death, my Aunt Virginia died suddenly [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2920,"featured_media":2634,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[466,36,34,60,35,86,78,167],"class_list":["post-2631","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-babies","tag-childhood-memories","tag-death","tag-family","tag-grief","tag-heaven","tag-jesus","tag-memories"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Farewell, Florencee and Virginia<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"&nbsp; I apologize for being so quiet lately. A few days after I wrote about my Great Aunt Florencee, she died in a car accident. 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