{"id":84,"date":"2016-01-07T18:18:00","date_gmt":"2016-01-07T18:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/felixculpa\/2016\/01\/the-year-of-thwart.html"},"modified":"2016-01-07T18:18:00","modified_gmt":"2016-01-07T18:18:00","slug":"the-year-of-thwart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/felixculpa\/2016\/01\/the-year-of-thwart.html","title":{"rendered":"The Year of Thwart"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
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\u201cThe heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps.\u201d ~Prov. 16:9<\/p>\n

Once all the Christmas glitter and dust settled, my plan was to write a New Year\u2019s letter to family and friends. But this here blog will have to suffice.<\/p>\n

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On the 22nd of December, I had a routine pacemaker check, and it was discovered that the battery was nearly out of life. Surgery was scheduled for New Year\u2019s Eve, and life rolled on \u2013 exactly how I hadn\u2019t anticipated.<\/p>\n

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2015 has been filled with thwarted plans. It\u2019s one of those things that happened so often, if I chose to ignore its significance, I could be taken for a dimwit.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Back in April, our farmhouse (an entirely thwarted plan in and of itself) sold, but not when or how we thought. The purchasing of it and living in it the year before was one of the bumpiest, most unpredictable events of my life. The closing was the messiest closing I\u2019d ever been a part of \u2026\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Until I went through the closing of my Grandma\u2019s house with my Mom in November, who, unbeknownst to us, would come to live with us on a permanent basis in August, two weeks before the closing on Orchard House, where we live now.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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So the year brought three closings from Hades, four moves, two unexpected tenants, and a new pacemaker. What I had planned? One move. No closings. No tenants. A pacemaker, maybe<\/i>. And a finished book.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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I could go on about random, 2015 events, and I will a little (\u2019cause it\u2019s my blog and I\u2019ll cry if I want to).\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Three of our cars broke down within a week or so before all our Christmas company arrived. Two were due to faulty fuel pumps. I don\u2019t know what the chances are for that, but I\u2019m guessing slim.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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A sweet friend died unexpectedly.\u00a0<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n
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One hot day in July, I was riding along in the passenger seat with Ashlee driving, and like hot Starbucks she spits out, \u201cWelp! I\u2019m pregnant!\u201d\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Auggie Fynn sums up my reaction:\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Side note: Pumpkin in the oven was unplanned, but I\u2019ll take another wee baby any day!\u00a0<\/div>\n
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When we closed on Grandma\u2019s house, we got a phone call when we got home that said \u201cPsyche!\u201d You\u2019ll have to come in again and sign all those papers another day. Everything you just signed is null and void. Three times we tried to close. Turns out the fourth<\/i> time is the real charm.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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I met with an agent at a writer\u2019s conference in May. She\u2019d like to see my book proposal. Truthfully, that <\/i>is when life got bonkers.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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I had so many plans for my book. Deadlines to meet. Thoughts to finish penning.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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But just weeks later \u2026\u00a0<\/div>\n
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In walked our first tenant \u2013 a girl with a troubled relationship with her parents. She was unmistakably homeless. Not one place to lay her head at night. She stayed until October and even though I was more than willing to take her in, the situation proved trying and taxing for both me and my family.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Then Mom called, in a difficult position of living by herself for the first time in twenty-some years and diagnosed with Parkinson\u2019s three years ago. So, with tenant #1, we traveled six hours away, loaded up Mom and her belongings, and brought her to Orchard House, permanently.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Mom and I haven\u2019t lived together since I was fifteen. It\u2019s been an adjustment, to say the least. I still have my days where I wonder if I am the right person to give care.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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\u201cMom, you\u2019re welcome here, but fair warning: it\u2019ll be like the blind leading the blind.\u201d\u00a0<\/div>\n
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I remember telling her that, and it\u2019s proven to be true. If I did the math, there would be more days where she has taken care of me than I have taken care of her. Point is: we are a chronically ill duet, sometimes singing our own sad song so loud we become out of tune with each other\u2019s needs.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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I shoulda been a country songwriter \u2026.\u00a0<\/i><\/div>\n

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There are more scenarios, but I should be done with my written expansion of what I thought<\/i> would be, what I planned<\/i> to be.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Oh, wait. One last one. My surgery was scheduled for New Year\u2019s Eve day. It didn\u2019t go as planned either. First of all, last time I had a pacer check, I was told I would be good and charged until December 2016. <\/i>In fact, I went into the appointment planning<\/i> to ask for a summer time replacement for next year, because December to April are my hardest months as far as my other health issues go, and what\u2019s a couple months early? Instead, she hooked me up to the computer and said, \u201cHow \u2019bout a replacement next week?\u201d\u00a0<\/div>\n
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My mental response:<\/div>\n
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\u201cHello? It\u2019s Christmas<\/i>. I have family in from Maryland. I have plans.\u201d\u00a0<\/div>\n
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My verbal response:<\/div>\n
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\u201cThat\u2019s not really a question, is it?\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u201cNo. Can you stay a minute while I go get the doctor?\u201d\u00a0<\/div>\n
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My mental response:<\/div>\n
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\u201cYou just told me the very life that causes my heart to beat is going to stop soon. GO GET THE DOCTOR, YOU RIDICULOUS NURSE!\u201d<\/div>\n
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My verbal response:<\/div>\n
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\u201cYes, of course.\u201d\u00a0<\/div>\n
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The surgical plan was to go in and replace the battery, which is the large part of the device that does all the thinking, all the decision making as to when I get an electrical zap and when I don\u2019t. From that device, there are two leads \u2013 one that gets inserted into the top part of my heart, one into the bottom. One of those leads was twenty-six years old, and when they disconnected the device from it, the sheath surrounding it fell apart. So they had to replace the lead, which is usually a little tricky with me, since I have a history of the leads falling out (due to scar tissue from open heart surgery many \u00a0moons ago). \u00a0<\/div>\n
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When I woke up in the recovery room, there was a large clock on the wall before me. It read: 9:16. I knew something didn\u2019t go as planned, because I was due to be in the recovery room earlier than that, and I\u2019ve done enough replacements now to know that if I go longer than expected, something\u2019s is amiss.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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The surgeon, a little old(er) lady with a dictatorial way about her, came in and let me know what gave.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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\u201cUnfortunately, we had to replace a lead, so you\u2019ll need to say the night. How do you feel, dear?\u201d\u00a0<\/div>\n
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In all my writerly eloquence, I said \u201cI feel like crap.\u201d\u00a0<\/div>\n
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\u201cGood. All the more reason for you to stay a while.\u201d\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Alrighty then.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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At least I didn\u2019t whine and cry like Westley from Princess Bride\u00a0<\/i>after being tortured and asked the same question.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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So. I\u2019m sorry I don\u2019t have a glowing report for 2015. In many ways, it is\u00a0<\/i>glowing. I am so at home at Orchard House, and I am blessed to have a warm, cozy, down to earth home, water that doesn\u2019t make me sick (#farmhouse), and a place for people to come when they\u2019re in dire need or want a reprieve. I have three grandsons who brighten my life more than I can pen who absolutely adore their Marmee and Poppy and love to come roam the acres of Orchard House. I have three kids who I love, who love me, and are all on speaking terms with us (ha! \u2013 hey, it\u2019s important to me). Shaun and I have grown closer through the last year, and we have plans to grow closer still in 2016.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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But speaking of plans, any plans \u2026.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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My heart keeps making them, but the Lord keeps establishing my steps. And since those plans keep getting blown up like a terrorist town in Afghanistan under the leadership of George Dubya, perhaps I should take note of the loud message:\u00a0<\/div>\n
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I am not in control.\u00a0<\/i>

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But I\u2019m learning to be okay with that. I\u2019m coming to a place where not much surprises me, and the first\u00a0thought that pops into my head when I receive unexpected news is Proverbs 16:9. My heart can plan, but the Lord determines which way I\u2019m really going.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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That doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t plan. <\/b>I just set some goals the other day and it\u2019s a Biblical principle to plan as if I was Stephen Covey\u2019s own daughter.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty. <\/i>(Prov. 21:5)<\/div>\n
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It\u2019s not about failing to plan. It\u2019s about knowing the ultimate Planner, and submitting to His will over mine.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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More and more, when the notes in my planner seem like a joke and my to-do list fails to get marked off, the cry of my heart is Thy will be done.<\/i>\u00a0<\/div>\n
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It\u2019s about surrendering, and gladly so. It\u2019s about looking at the troubles, and learning to say with thankfulness, \u201cYeah, but.\u201d Yeah, but look what I do <\/i>have. So many earthly blessings, and yet, if even those completely disappear, I have all the feels and blessings that come with being an heir of Jesus Christ. I have \u201cevery spiritual blessing in the heavenly places.\u201d (Ephesians 1)<\/div>\n
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And nothing \u2013 not even a year of thwart \u2013 can take that <\/i>away.\u00a0<\/div>\n

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\u201cThe heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps.\u201d ~Prov. 16:9 Once all the Christmas glitter and dust settled, my plan was to write a New Year\u2019s letter to family and friends. But this here blog will have to suffice. On the 22nd of December, I had a routine pacemaker check, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2920,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-84","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Year of Thwart<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""The heart of man plans his ways, but the Lord establishes his steps." ~Prov. 16:9Once all the Christmas glitter and dust settled, my plan was to write a\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/felixculpa\/2016\/01\/the-year-of-thwart.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" 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