{"id":10687,"date":"2015-02-03T10:47:23","date_gmt":"2015-02-03T15:47:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/formerlyfundie\/?p=10687"},"modified":"2019-02-17T10:56:48","modified_gmt":"2019-02-17T15:56:48","slug":"10-ways-to-be-a-better-peacemaker-online-and-make-the-internet-a-better-place","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/formerlyfundie\/10-ways-to-be-a-better-peacemaker-online-and-make-the-internet-a-better-place\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Ways To Be A Better Peacemaker Online (And Make The Internet A Better Place)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"Screen<\/a><\/p>\n

Lately I\u2019ve been lamenting at what a toxic place the internet can be, but instead of lament would like to contribute something more helpful to make dialoging with people on the internet a little less toxic, and a little more right. Here\u2019s 10 things we can do to make the internet a better place for everyone:<\/p>\n

1. Remember that avatars aren\u2019t just avatars- but are real people with a real story.<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to lose sight of an individual\u2019s humanity on the internet, but remember, this is a real person with a real story\u2013 and\u00a0you don\u2019t know their story.<\/em> Try to remember that you\u2019re not really talking to a cartoon avatar, but a real, live, human being who has their own story that led up to their nasty comment.<\/p>\n

2. Know that you\u2019re probably not seeing the individual\u2019s true personality.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am convinced that 99% of the nasty people you encounter on the internet probably aren\u2019t like that in real life. They\u2019re probably people who love their kids, don\u2019t kick their dog, are generally kind to others, and who would be treating you completely different if you were sitting in their living room.<\/p>\n

3. Remember that people are more than simply their position on a single issue.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When we encounter folks on the internet, it\u2019s usually in response to a post that is dealing with one specific issue. Remember that you cannot gauge the totality of their personhood by their position on one, single issue. If you were to sit down with them, you might find a host of other things you agree on or have in common.<\/p>\n

4. Consider that mean people are often feeling scared, insecure, or\u00a0threatened.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When people lash out online, there\u2019s usually good reason\u2013 and that reason most likely could be linked to feelings of fear, insecurity, or that their worldview is being threatened. Many people are afraid that if they discover one area of their belief system is wrong, everything else could collapse on them too (even though that\u2019s rarely the case). For these folks, there is a need of self preservation to defend and argue, because they\u2019re trying to protect their worldview from falling apart.<\/p>\n

5.<\/strong> Don\u2019t\u00a0say things that you know will needlessly\u00a0escalate a person.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Some of us are better at pushing people\u2019s buttons than others, but\u00a0we all know how to do it.<\/em> Remember that a human being is not a toy to be maliciously played with, and saying things that\u00a0you know<\/em> will have a high likelihood of setting them off for no good reason should probably remain unsaid.<\/p>\n

6. Remember that gentle responses often disarm.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This won\u2019t be the case 100% of the time, but quite often you\u2019ll find that if you respond to someone gently and kindly, they\u2019ll soften up a bit to the point where you might be able to have a real conversation with each other.<\/p>\n

7. Remember that responding with a defensive attitude can make \u00a0you look as obnoxious as the person you\u2019re talking to.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The best way to go from the receiving end of nastiness to the giving end of it, is to respond defensively. I get it, no one likes to feel attacked\u2013 happens to me on a daily basis. But, the best thing you can do is to walk away when you\u2019re feeling defensive because commenting from a defensive posture before you\u2019ve had time to sit with your thoughts is a fast-track to becoming as nasty as they are.<\/p>\n

8. Try to listen, no matter how hard.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A lot of nasty people just want to be heard, but haven\u2019t quite caught on yet to the concept that they\u2019re more likely to be heard if they knock off the obnoxious behavior. Consider taking the first step\u2013 help them by trying to listen to what they\u2019re\u00a0really<\/em> trying to say. Perhaps being heard will help them to cool down a bit.<\/p>\n

9. Don\u2019t engage\u00a0when you\u2019re in bad space.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re in bad space, that bleeds into your comments regardless of whether or not you can always see it. You\u2019re less patient, less kind\u2026 less everything that\u2019s good in the world. The best bet is to just avoid participating in the comment section when you\u2019re in a bad mood.<\/p>\n

10. Remember that\u00a0you\u2019ve done that too.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to judge that nasty person you encounter online, but remember: there\u2019s a good chance that someone else has a story where\u00a0you<\/em> were the nasty person. We all have our bad days. We\u2019ve all done it. Just remember that the person you\u2019re talking to might be just like you<\/em>, but on a bad day.<\/p>\n

\u2026<\/p>\n

We both have good days, and we both have bad days\u2013 but let\u2019s try some of these 10 items and see if we can make the internet a better place for all of us.<\/p>\n

This article also appeared<\/a> at<\/p>\n

\"time\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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Lately I\u2019ve been lamenting at what a toxic place the internet can be, but instead of lament would like to contribute something more helpful to make dialoging with people on the internet a little less toxic, and a little more right. 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