Today\u2019s post was written by Barry Cram. Enjoy!<\/p>\n
\u2014<\/p>\n
I love this quote from Helen Keller.\u00a0 \u201cWalking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.\u201d<\/p>\n
We all have dark times in our lives, and it is nice to have a friend there beside us.\u00a0 Really good friends have weathered a few storms and seen some water under the bridge.\u00a0 Those kinds of friendships take time and commitment.\u00a0 Even through the rough times, true friends sick together.<\/p>\n
But what about developing new friendships?\u00a0 How do you make a new friend starting from scratch?\u00a0 The process of making a new friend can be frustrating or daunting if you use a wrong strategy or assume the wrong things. Taking the right initial<\/em> steps to make a new friend can be a shot in the dark.\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t have to be!<\/p>\n As you read this blog, I want you to think about two factors: (1) the initial trust\/commitment level it takes to make a new friend, and (2) the time frame needed to first establish that friendship.<\/p>\n At first you may think both of these factors need to be high.\u00a0 Conventional wisdom says, \u201cGood friendships need lots of<\/em> time<\/em> and lots of<\/em> trust<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 But I am going to suggest that, in the beginning, you do not want invest a lot of time and trust.\u00a0 It seems counter-intuitive, but you do not need a \u201cbig time\u201d commitment or trust level to make a new friend.\u00a0 Here are three tips for making a new friend.<\/p>\n Start where you spend most of your time<\/strong><\/p>\n The first step in making a new friend is meeting new people.\u00a0 The more new people you can meet, the greater the chances of establishing a new friendship with common interests.\u00a0 So where is the best place to meet new people?\u00a0 Begin where you already spend the majority of your time\u2014 your neighborhood.<\/p>\n There are many reasons that neighbors down the street or around the block can become new friends.\u00a0 You both already share the same (1) community space (gardens, parks, pools, and streets), (2) concerns\/issues (crime and safety), and (3) schools (if you both have kids).<\/p>\n Use social platforms that guarantee face-to-face interaction<\/strong><\/p>\n Most neighborhood groups have websites or social site you can join\u2014Facebook, Nextdoor, etc.\u2014to subscribe and receive community news.\u00a0 Active communities will advertise community events.\u00a0 If it is a trusted group, subscribe and join these kinds of distribution lists.\u00a0 Also, these community events are planned by social committees that meet nearby.\u00a0 Volunteer to help with one event that interests you.\u00a0 You will meet someone new.<\/p>\n If your neighborhood does not have an association, use community-driven sites like Nextdoor to meet people. \u00a0I use it because it allows me to communicate with others who are in close proximity.\u00a0 I have personally used Nextdoor to:<\/p>\n Each opportunity allows for more and more face-to-face interactions between neighbors.\u00a0 Friendly neighbors are just acquaintances who live really close to you.\u00a0 And acquaintances are potential friends!\u00a0 If the next step is right, time<\/em> and trust<\/em> will not be a factor early on.<\/p>\n Find events that require very little commitment and low trust <\/strong><\/p>\n If you meet a neighbor down the street, understand that the first initial get-togethers should require very little trust and very little commitment.\u00a0 This is very important.\u00a0 Consider this scenario:<\/p>\n I meet a guy who is married with two kids.\u00a0 He loves football and keeps a pretty neat yard.\u00a0 There is enough common interest, but I really do not know him.\u00a0 Which event would I use to get to know him better?<\/p>\n The answer is C.<\/p>\n The YardSmart seminar is the only one-time event (low commitment<\/em>) at a neutral location (low trust needed<\/em>) at a close, familiar place.\u00a0 All of the other examples are (1) group-oriented, (2) last too long, (3) have an on-going commitment, (4) have no ending date, or (5) assume too much trust (inviting someone into your home assumes more trust).\u00a0 In this situation, a few low trust\/low commitment events would help me discern if this relationship could turn into a friendship.<\/p>\n\n
\n