{"id":3853,"date":"2013-12-10T10:06:45","date_gmt":"2013-12-10T16:06:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/freedhearts\/?p=3853"},"modified":"2013-12-10T10:06:45","modified_gmt":"2013-12-10T16:06:45","slug":"telling-younger-ones-about-gay-siblings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/freedhearts\/2013\/12\/10\/telling-younger-ones-about-gay-siblings\/","title":{"rendered":"Telling Younger Ones About Gay Siblings"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-3963\" alt=\"sisters\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/487\/2013\/12\/sisters1.jpg?w=300\" width=\"300\" height=\"263\"><em>\u201cMy sister loves girls and that is okay! God loves us all \u2014 girls and boys \u2014 so it is okay.\u201d Age 6<\/em><\/p>\n<p>When a gay child comes out, how does the family\u00a0deal with the younger children? This can be tricky. Not only must the family come to terms with the situation, but they need to sort out what\u2019s age appropriate. Should they tell them? Avoid the subject? Will they understand? Will they want more information? What\u2019s too young?\u00a0And what about privacy?\u00a0You can explain that this is a \u201cprivate family matter,\u201d but of course children are notoriously indiscreet about family matters, private or not, and the cost for a family outed at school or church can be extremely high.<\/p>\n<p>My first answer is always to pray for God\u2019s leading and follow it. A family can have an open conversation about the subject in general, without talking about the gay sibling in particular. \u201cSome boys love boys and some girls love girls\u201d can make sense to a child. It may require a little more explanation, but not much. Kids can grasp what adults often do not.<\/p>\n<p>And sometimes they are way ahead of the curve. My friend, who has accepted her gay daughter from the beginning, was quite concerned about how to deal with her younger ones. Especially because she knew they would talk openly, as kids do, and she did not know how that would work if they said it, say, in school, or at church. (It\u2019s a very small town and a legalistic church.)<\/p>\n<p>Then she received a note from the twins\u2019 teacher. My friend shared it with me:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cAll this worry about my six-year-old twins \u00a0finding out about their sister being gay. They were having a lesson in school today about different families. So they all drew pictures. Well, mine drew all of us and drew Kaitlin\u2019s boyfriend and Lauren\u2019s girlfriend! Teacher asked them to explain and Brenna told her, \u2018Well, my sister loves girls and that is okay! God loves us all \u2014 girls and boys \u2014 so it is okay. And Jessie proudly said, \u2018My mom said our family is super-blessed and special to have such a gift as a gay kid.\u2019 She told her teacher, \u2018God is showing my mom true love and grace so our family is special \u2014 is yours?\u2019 Teacher said she could not answer. How amazing what they hear even we think they do not.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>It may not be an easy path, but it may not be as hard as you expect. Let God lead, and trust your children. They are wonderful at loving in a pure, Christ-like way.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cMy sister loves girls and that is okay! God loves us all \u2014 girls and boys \u2014 so it is okay.\u201d Age 6 When a gay child comes out, how does the family\u00a0deal with the younger children? This can be tricky. Not only must the family come to terms with the situation, but they need [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2073,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5,9,10],"tags":[82,114,174,175,182,287,343,344,363,364,365,366,372,457,475,478,479,480,506,626,627,726,739,740,743,770,785,786,962,1012,1089,1099,1100,1103],"class_list":["post-3853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church-religion","category-family-support","category-lgbtq-support","category-personal-stories","tag-are-people-born-gay","tag-bible-homosexuality","tag-christian-parents-gay-child","tag-christian-parents-of-gay-children","tag-christians-with-gay-children","tag-ex-gay","tag-freed-hearts","tag-freedhearts","tag-gay-children","tag-gay-christian","tag-gay-christian-charity","tag-gay-christian-community","tag-gay-kids","tag-help-my-child-is-gay","tag-homosexuality","tag-homosexuality-and-sin","tag-homosexuality-and-the-bible","tag-homosexuality-and-the-church","tag-how-to-respond-to-a-gay-child","tag-lgbtq-charity","tag-lgbtq-christian","tag-mom-im-gay","tag-my-child-is-gay","tag-my-daughter-is-gay","tag-my-son-is-gay","tag-parent-of-a-gay-child","tag-parents-of-gay-children","tag-parents-of-gay-kids","tag-susan-cottrell","tag-to-christian-parents-of-gay-children","tag-what-do-you-do-when-your-son-is-gay","tag-what-to-do-if-your-son-is-gay","tag-what-to-do-when-your-son-is-gay","tag-when-your-family-rejects-you"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Telling Younger Ones About Gay Siblings<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"&quot;My sister loves girls and that is okay! God loves us all -- girls and boys -- so it is okay.&quot; Age 6 When a gay child comes out, how does the family\u00a0deal\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/freedhearts\/2013\/12\/10\/telling-younger-ones-about-gay-siblings\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Telling Younger Ones About Gay Siblings\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&quot;My sister loves girls and that is okay! 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