{"id":14085,"date":"2016-03-31T16:58:21","date_gmt":"2016-03-31T21:58:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/frenchrevolution\/?p=14085"},"modified":"2016-03-31T16:58:21","modified_gmt":"2016-03-31T21:58:21","slug":"daughter-killed-see-happened-mom-visited-shooter-prison","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/frenchrevolution\/2016\/03\/31\/daughter-killed-see-happened-mom-visited-shooter-prison\/","title":{"rendered":"Her daughter was killed; see what happened when the mom visited the shooter in prison"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-14086\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/9\/2016\/03\/06justice3-articleLarge.jpg\" alt=\"06justice3-articleLarge\" width=\"600\" height=\"450\"><\/p>\n<p class=\"story-body-text story-content\">From the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2013\/01\/06\/magazine\/can-forgiveness-play-a-role-in-criminal-justice.html?_r=0\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">New York Times<\/a>:<!--more--><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"story-body-text story-content\">At 2:15 in the afternoon on March 28, 2010, Conor McBride, a tall, sandy-haired 19-year-old wearing jeans, a T-shirt and New Balance sneakers, walked into the Tallahassee Police Department and approached the desk in the main lobby. Gina Maddox, the officer on duty, noticed that he looked upset and asked him how she could help. \u201cYou need to arrest me,\u201d McBride answered. \u201cI just shot my fianc\u00e9e in the head.\u201d When Maddox, taken aback, didn\u2019t respond right away, McBride added, \u201cThis is not a joke.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"story-body-text story-content\">Maddox called Lt. Jim Montgomery, the watch commander, to her desk and told him what she had just heard. He asked McBride to sit in his office, where the young man began to weep.<\/p>\n<p class=\"story-body-text story-content\">About an hour earlier, at his parents\u2019 house, McBride shot Ann Margaret Grosmaire, his girlfriend of three years. Ann was a tall 19-year-old with long blond hair and, like McBride, a student at Tallahassee Community College. The couple had been fighting for 38 hours in person, by text message and over the phone. They fought about the mundane things that many couples might fight about, but instead of resolving their differences or shaking them off, they kept it up for two nights and two mornings, culminating in the moment that McBride shot Grosmaire, who was on her knees, in the face. Her last words were, \u201cNo, don\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I\u2019m very honored to have been involved in my most recent book project, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0718041518\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0718041518&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=nancfren-20&amp;linkId=X4QKIAUQXZ6ZUKB4\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Forgiving My Daughter\u2019s Killer: A True Story of Loss, Faith, and Unexpected Grace<\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: none !important;margin: 0px !important\" src=\"https:\/\/ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/ir?t=nancfren-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=0718041518\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" border=\"0\">\u00a0by Kate Grosmaire. Getting to know Kate and Andy, the parents of Ann, challenged the way I looked at forgiveness. \u00a0The way they responded to Conor has been described as \u201cradical forgiveness\u201d (though Kate disagrees with that phrase). \u00a0The story continues:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"story-body-text story-content\">When Conor was booked, he was told to give the names of five people who would be permitted to visit him in jail, and he put Ann\u2019s mother Kate on the list. Conor says he doesn\u2019t know why he did so \u2014 \u201cI was in a state of shock\u201d \u2014 but knowing she could visit put a burden on Kate. At first she didn\u2019t want to see him at all, but that feeling turned to willingness and then to a need. \u201cBefore this happened, I loved Conor,\u201d she says. \u201cI knew that if I defined Conor by that one moment \u2014 as a murderer \u2014 I was defining my daughter as a murder victim. And I could not allow that to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n<p id=\"story-continues-2\" class=\"story-body-text story-content\">She asked her husband if he had a message for Conor. \u201cTell him I love him, and I forgive him,\u201d he answered. Kate told me: \u201cI wanted to be able to give him the same message. Conor owed us a debt he could never repay. And releasing him from that debt would release us from expecting that anything in this world could satisfy us.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Challenging, no?<\/p>\n<p>I remember reading that article in the New York Times so many years ago, and being floored at the mother\u2019s attitude and heart\u2026 \u00a0even toward the person who ended her beloved daughter\u2019s life. \u00a0When I was later contacted by an agent to tell this very story, I knew it was for me.<\/p>\n<p>Many poignant moments of forgiveness pop up in this story \u2014 not only between Kate and Conor, but between both sets of parents. \u00a0And Andy experienced a miraculous moment in the hospital that will definitely make you think twice about forgiveness. \u00a0(And, it will probably give you chill bumps, too.)<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the video teaser for the book:<\/p>\n<div class=\"page\" title=\"Page 1\">\n<div class=\"layoutArea\">\n<div class=\"column\">\n<p>Her new book\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0718041518\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0718041518&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=nancfren-20&amp;linkId=X4QKIAUQXZ6ZUKB4\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Forgiving My Daughter\u2019s Killer: A True Story of Loss, Faith, and Unexpected Grace<\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: none !important;margin: 0px !important\" src=\"https:\/\/ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/ir?t=nancfren-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=0718041518\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" border=\"0\">\u00a0is an uplifting, beautiful story of a family recovering from a tragic loss\u2026 with grace and love.<\/p>\n<p>Buy it by clicking on the image below, but warning: you might never be the same.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0718041518\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0718041518&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=nancfren-20&amp;linkId=CC2GXP3OEP7NZEP5\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/q?_encoding=UTF8&amp;ASIN=0718041518&amp;Format=_SL250_&amp;ID=AsinImage&amp;MarketPlace=US&amp;ServiceVersion=20070822&amp;WS=1&amp;tag=nancfren-20\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\"><\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: none !important;margin: 0px !important\" src=\"https:\/\/ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/ir?t=nancfren-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=0718041518\" alt=\"\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" border=\"0\"><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>RELATED:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/frenchrevolution\/2016\/03\/31\/restorative-justice-empower-victims-crime\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">What is \u201crestorative justice\u201d and how does it empower the victims?<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/frenchrevolution\/2016\/03\/31\/daughter-killed-see-happened-mom-visited-shooter-prison\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">What happened when a mother goes to visit her daughter\u2019s shooter in jail?<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/frenchrevolution\/2016\/03\/31\/mother-forgave-daughters-killer-doesnt-like-phrase-radical-forgiveness\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">Why does Kate Grosmaire object to the idea of \u201cradical forgiveness?\u201d<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cYou need to arrest me,\u201d he said. \u201cI just shot my fianc\u00e9e in the head.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":14086,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[451,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-faith","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Her daughter was killed; 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