{"id":13199,"date":"2012-11-22T05:30:11","date_gmt":"2012-11-22T10:30:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.geneveith.com\/?p=13199"},"modified":"2012-11-22T05:30:11","modified_gmt":"2012-11-22T10:30:11","slug":"rules-for-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/geneveith\/2012\/11\/rules-for-thanksgiving\/","title":{"rendered":"Rules for Thanksgiving"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Timothy R. Smith, a 26-year-old single guy, says that he is in the position this year of having to prepare a Thanksgiving Dinner for himself and a bunch of his friends.\u00a0 He reports his relief at coming across Thanksgiving: How to Cook It Well<\/a>\"\" by food critic Sam Sifton, which gives step-by-step instructions on how to do everything.\u00a0 From Smith\u2019s review of the book:<\/p>\n

Sifton sets down rules that must be followed to guarantee success. Some of those bylaws seem to turn the tastemaker into a taskmaster, but that lends the book a certain charm.<\/p>\n

\nFor instance, one should always carve the turkey in the kitchen, not at the table; a first course should never precede the turkey \u2014 serve the whole meal at once; do not cook anything out of season; begin serving libations once guests arrive; and salad is always an unwelcome guest. He eschews marshmallows in any form at the Thanksgiving table, whether on sweet potatoes or dessert.\n

The glue of the meal is cranberry sauce and gravy. \u201cDebate that all you like,\u201d Sifton declares. \u201cBut they tie every element on the plate together.\u201d And dessert should be the meal\u2019s blissful, final amphetamine. \u201cA proper Thanksgiving should close out with a blast of warm, gooey flavor \u2014 a burst of sugar that can give a guest just enough energy to make it from table to couch, the holiday\u2019s final resting place.\u201d Dessert must be a simple American classic, preferably apple or pumpkin pie with a breast of whipped cream. He disapproves of tartlets or parfaits and any form of innovative pastry.<\/p>\n

Above all, Thanksgiving must be traditional, Sifton argues.<\/p>\n

via Sam Sifton helps novice holiday chefs in \u2018Thanksgiving: How to Cook It Well\u2019 \u2013 The Washington Post<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I would add that the final point about tradition has to trump all other rules, including that idiosyncratic rejection of marshmallows.\u00a0 He has a point about salads in the sense of green leafy healthy salads\u2013unless one comes in under the tradition rule\u2013though salads containing Jello and\/or Cool Whip are permitted, especially if it\u2019s never eaten except at Thanksgiving.<\/p>\n

This made me think of other Thanksgiving rules:<\/p>\n

(1)\u00a0 To determine how big of a turkey you need to buy, count the number of guests and estimate how many portions each is likely to eat.\u00a0 Then buy the biggest turkey you can find.<\/p>\n

You need a gigantic turkey in order to create the impression of abundance, which, in turn, makes people feel a jolt of thankfulness.\u00a0 Also, you want lots and lots of leftovers, enough to replay the feast until the Jello and Cool Whip salads run out, and, above all, to have turkey sandwiches throughout the holiday weekend and as long after that as possible.<\/p>\n

Recipe for turkey sandwiches:\u00a0 Get two pieces of soft, airy, pillowy white bread of the kind people who are serious about food scorn.\u00a0 (You may have to get on E-bay<\/a> to get some Wonderbread [current bid for a loaf:\u00a0 $25]).\u00a0 Lubricate one side of both slices with a thick layer of mayonnaise.\u00a0 Pile high with turkey.\u00a0 Than add a thick layer of salt, not as seasoning but as an ingredient.\u00a0 Top with the other piece of bread.\u00a0 Eat with potato chips.\u00a0 The culinary principle is that it\u2019s all white.\u00a0 You may, however, eat it with a sweet pickle on the side.<\/p>\n

(2)\u00a0 Whether or not people like a dish has nothing to do with whether it should be served at Thanksgiving.\u00a0 Foods sanctioned by ancient use must still be served, even if no one currently likes them.\u00a0 New foods may be introduced, as long as the old foods are included.\u00a0 If, however, a dish has been served for two successive Thanksgivings, it has become traditional and must<\/em> be served from then on.<\/p>\n

(3)\u00a0 Tradition resets with the beginning of a new family.\u00a0 Thus, newly married couples having their own Thanksgiving Dinner for the first time are entitled to start their own traditions, as long as they maintain some thread of continuity with the traditions of each person\u2019s childhood.\u00a0 The husband and the wife should each choose one or more dish they always had when they were growing up.\u00a0 The criteria is, \u201cIt wouldn\u2019t be Thanksgiving without it.\u201d\u00a0 In this way, two families come together into a new family.\u00a0 Newly-married couples are free to add any foods they choose.\u00a0 But if it is served for two successive years, rule #2 applies.<\/p>\n

(4)\u00a0 Thanksgiving is about gratitude, so no fighting or sniping is allowed on Thanksgiving.\u00a0 That can wait until the rest of the weekend.\u00a0 Thanksgiving customs and observances should all provoke a response of thankfulness.\u00a0 That applies to these rules themselves.\u00a0 We are thankful not just for the food and the abundance and the material blessings they represent.\u00a0 We are also thankful for our families, here and stretching back through time, for the memories, for what it was like to be a child and to grow up, for our history\u2013personal and corporate and national\u2013and for our culture, from the little community of our family to the local and regional and national cultures that we are part of.\u00a0\u00a0 We are thankful for the continuities, the social order and our place in it, as well as the uniqueness of everyone at the table.\u00a0 And we are thankful for our senses and for so many sensory pleasures and so many good gifts, all of which we receive from the hand of God.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s how we do it in the Veith household, since time immemorial.\u00a0 I hasten to add that since tradition trumps EVERYTHING, you and your family may do things differently.\u00a0 So what are some of your rules for Thanksgiving?<\/p><\/div>\n<\/blockquote><\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Timothy R. Smith, a 26-year-old single guy, says that he is in the position this year of having to prepare a Thanksgiving Dinner for himself and a bunch of his friends.\u00a0 He reports his relief at coming across Thanksgiving: How to Cook It Well by food critic Sam Sifton, which gives step-by-step instructions on how […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1281,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,17,21,34],"tags":[2180],"class_list":["post-13199","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-food","category-holidays","category-personal","tag-thanksgiving"],"yoast_head":"\nRules for Thanksgiving<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Timothy R. 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