{"id":26664,"date":"2017-01-05T05:30:26","date_gmt":"2017-01-05T10:30:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/geneveith\/?p=26664"},"modified":"2017-01-04T20:10:55","modified_gmt":"2017-01-05T01:10:55","slug":"simulated-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/geneveith\/2017\/01\/simulated-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Simulated relationships\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"11103892_f57d05a21e_o\"<\/a>Why do we often take celebrity deaths so hard? \u00a0According to Rev. Travis Berg, citing various experts, it\u2019s because we form \u201csimulated relationships.\u201d \u00a0Our impulse to form friendships is displaced onto people we don\u2019t really know, except from the characters they play or their personalities projected by the media.<\/p>\n

In our high-tech, low-interaction culture, those kinds of \u201cpara-social relationships\u201d are all some\u00a0people have! \u00a0In contrast, God wants us to love actual people and to be part of actual communities in the family, church, and society.<\/p>\n

\n

From Rev. Travis Berg,\u00a0Celebrity Deaths and Simulated Relationships \u2013 Steadfast Lutherans<\/a>:<\/em><\/p>\n

We all need and desire to belong. Television, movies, and social media all simulate community. Halpern writes, \u201cGradually, over the course of many episodes, viewers come to feel that they know a fictional persona.\u201d[5]<\/a><\/p>\n

This is known as the theory of para-social relationships. Promoted by Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl, this theory explains the emotional attachment which men and women feel toward their favorite characters and the heartbreak which occurs when the show is canceled or the actor\/actress dies.<\/p>\n

Halpern corroborates this theory which his own experience: \u201cAfter watching dozens of \u201cCheers\u201d episodes, I felt as if I knew the personas in the show intimately. In fact, there were times when I\u2019d seen more of the characters on \u201cCheers\u201d than I\u2019d seen of the people in my own family.\u201d<\/p>\n

Why? Why would people prefer these illusionary, simulated relationships to real ones? The first reason is time. It\u2019s easier to sit at home and binge watch a few seasons of a show than to meet up with people who have busy lives like ours.<\/p>\n

The second and more disturbing reason is that para-relationships are easier. Think about it: \u201cThe truth is we all yearn for companionship. The only problem is that for many of us, myself included, the notion of a well-functioning family and a welcoming group of friends and co-workers is occasionally more easily found on television or in the movies than life itself.\u201d[7]<\/a><\/p>\n

Para-relationships are easy. The character is dependable, stable. Even if he is a bad guy, you know that he\u2019s going to be consistently bad. He may betray others, but he never betrays you. Even though he may have struggles, he inevitably bounces back.<\/p>\n

Para-relationships are easy, but they are illusionary. They are like clouds without rain or a mirage in a vast desert. While you may have the feeling of being a member of a group, in reality, you are more alone and isolated than ever.<\/p>\n

Real relationships are hard. People are sinners. Once you get past the thin veneer of respectability, you will always find warts. And, let\u2019s face it, sinners let you down. They aren\u2019t always constant in their actions or behavior. They sin against us. They can hurt us badly.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s not even dealing with the pragmatic issues. It\u2019s hard to coordinate busy schedules. It\u2019s hard to find common interests with others. And sometimes, they don\u2019t bounce back from the tragedies of life. Sometimes, people are changed by trauma.<\/p>\n

Does it take time and a tremendous amount of energy to form real relationships? Of course. \u00a0And yet, this is the way in which God wants us to live together. Our Triune God wants us to live together in families and in local communities and in nations.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

[Keep reading. . .]<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Photo by Geoffrey Chandler, \u201cFriends,\u201d Creative Commons License<\/a><\/em><\/p><\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why do we often take celebrity deaths so hard? \u00a0According to Rev. Travis Berg, citing various experts, it\u2019s because we form \u201csimulated relationships.\u201d \u00a0Our impulse to form friendships is displaced onto people we don\u2019t really know, except from the characters they play or their personalities projected by the media. In our high-tech, low-interaction culture, those […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1281,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,37],"tags":[4165,5085],"class_list":["post-26664","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture","category-psychology","tag-friendships","tag-para-social-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nSimulated relationships\u00a0<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why do we often take celebrity deaths so hard? \u00a0According to Rev. 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