pastoral<\/em>\u00a0confirmed me in my disbelief.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nThis was basically what happened to Steve Jobs, also raised in the LCMS, who would go on to start Apple Computers.\u00a0 And what happened to a friend of mine, a precocious young lady with questions whose pastor also blew her off.<\/p>\n
They all speak of that visit as a key event in their loss of faith.\u00a0 Sanger and my friend later recovered that faith.\u00a0 But none of them are Lutheran anymore.<\/p>\n
So, pastors, please bear with me as a layman with the highest respect for your calling and for your office.\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about this, not only what went wrong but how such visits could be better handled.\u00a0 If any of you readers, pastors or laypeople, have any experience in this regard, including not only bad experiences but good experiences, how not to do it and what works well, please tell about them in the comments.<\/p>\n
First of all, we don\u2019t know exactly what was said in these sessions on either side.\u00a0 It may be that the young people misinterpreted what the pastor was saying.\u00a0 And I am sure that the pastors did not intend to drive anyone away.<\/p>\n
Second, I don\u2019t think these pastors caused<\/em> the teenagers to lose their faith.\u00a0 Such a loss has deep spiritual roots and was under way before they talked to the pastors.<\/p>\nAlso, I understand the difficulty.\u00a0 Teenagers can be off-putting.\u00a0 They probably came across as arrogant.\u00a0 They think they are smarter than the pastor is.\u00a0 Actually, they may be<\/em> smarter than the pastor is!\u00a0 But that\u2019s not the point.<\/p>\nThe pastor might feel that he doesn\u2019t know how to answer their questions!\u00a0 That\u2019s humiliating!\u00a0 But that\u2019s not the point either.<\/p>\n
Notice that what bothered young Larry Sanger the most was not so much that the pastor \u201chad no strong or clear answers\u201d but that \u201cHe seemed to be brushing me off and even to treat me with contempt. It seemed to me he did not care.\u201d\u00a0 He felt that he was \u201cbeing met with hostile unconcern by a person I expected to be, well, pastoral.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\nSanger left Christianity to be a rationalist, so surely he would realize that just because a pastor hurt his feelings didn\u2019t mean that Jesus isn\u2019t God incarnate.\u00a0 There is no logical connection.\u00a0 And yet his feelings<\/em> \u201cconfirmed me in my disbelief.\u201d<\/p>\nTeenagers are fragile.\u00a0 Their braggadocio is often a front they put up to cover their insecurities.\u00a0 But don\u2019t talk down to them.\u00a0 Take them seriously.<\/p>\n
When they come to see their pastor, they may have lots of questions, but often what they really want and need is pastoral care.<\/p>\n
Not always but often, when people lose their faith, it isn\u2019t because they have some big intellectual reason for believing that God doesn\u2019t exist.\u00a0 Rather, they have an inner estrangement from God, whereupon they seize on reasons not to believe.\u00a0 \u201cHe who is estranged seeks pretexts to break out against all sound judgment\u201d (Proverbs 18:1; RSV).<\/p>\n
So though pastors need to answer the questions the best they can, they would also do well to gently probe a little, trying to get to the underlying issues.<\/p>\n
A lot of times people abandon their Christianity because of some sin, something they have done or want to do, but they know it runs counter to Christianity.\u00a0 So rejecting Christianity becomes a way of exorcising their guilt. Alternatively and better yet, since their guilt shows they have been convicted by the law, you can forgive that sin through the gospel of Christ.\u00a0 If this comes up in an honest conversation, you can segue into confession and absolution.\u00a0 That\u2019s a powerful tool in a pastor\u2019s toolbox.<\/p>\n
Or they have become or aspire to be members of a group that scorns Christianity.\u00a0 Or they are troubled by some horrible thing that happened, which they think God should not have allowed.\u00a0 Or they have been mistreated by a supposed Christian.\u00a0 Or, of course, they just have honest doubts and misconceptions about what Christianity teaches. There can be any number of reasons for such \u201cestrangement.\u201d<\/p>\n
By virtue of your training and your office, you know what to do and say about such things better than I do.\u00a0 Sometimes just letting those who are troubled talk about what is bothering them helps them to gain perspective on the problem.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I guess it\u2019s just peer pressure.\u00a0 I need to get some different friends.\u201d\u00a0 Of course, in serious cases\u2013such as abuse, psychological problems, suicidal thoughts, or the like\u2013you will need to get outside help for the person you are counseling.<\/p>\n
Always, though, you\u2019ve got to treat this immortal soul with gentleness and respect.\u00a0 That\u2019s your marching order direct from the Bible:<\/p>\n
And\u00a0the Lord\u2019s servant must not be quarrelsome but\u00a0kind to everyone,\u00a0able to teach, patiently enduring evil,<\/span>\u00a0correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, (2 Timothy: 24-25)<\/span><\/p>\nIn your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.<\/span>\u00a0(1 Peter 3:15)<\/p><\/blockquote>\nIt wasn\u2019t clear if the pastor Larry spoke to was the same one who catechized and confirmed him.\u00a0 If he was, even though he fumbled the counseling session, he, or whoever was his pastor while he was going to church did give young Larry a good foundation.<\/p>\n
If you look over Tuesday\u2019s post, you will notice that now that Sanger has embraced Christianity, he sounds much like a Lutheran.\u00a0 His commitment to sola fide<\/em> and sola scriptura<\/em>, down to keeping the Latin phrases.\u00a0 His belief in the inerrancy of Scripture.\u00a0 His problems with various denominations, while appreciating some of their elements, sounds very Lutheran.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t agree with Lutheran sacramentalism, though, particularly the doctrine of the Real Presence\u2013so he isn\u2019t a Lutheran\u2013but I think he could change his mind on that, just as he has changed his mind on so many other issues.<\/p>\nHis interest in doctrines is also very Lutheran.\u00a0 He is worried about joining a church whose doctrines he might come to disagree with.\u00a0 Of course, joining a church involves submitting to its teachings and its leadership, and he may need to learn how to do that.\u00a0 \u00a0But the fact is, today, very few churches\u2013even evangelical and conservative churches\u2013make such a big deal of doctrine and of historical doctrinal distinctives that he and confessional Lutherans do.<\/p>\n
The point is, Sanger has had a Lutheran formation, so his pastor deserves credit for that.\u00a0 Whether or not Sanger comes back to a Lutheran church, he\u2019ll always have that foundation to build on.<\/p>\n
Sanger is still on his pilgrimage.\u00a0 Let\u2019s pray for him.\u00a0 And for the pastors who will be ministering to him and to everyone, young and old, in need of Christ.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Illustration:\u00a0 Image generated by AI according to the author\u2019s prompts via DeepAI.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"[A free post.] Wikipedia founder Larry Sanger grew up and was confirmed in the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod.\u00a0 As a teenager, his faith started slipping away, so he decided to talk with a pastor for help with his questions.\u00a0It did not go well. How should pastors deal with situations like this? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1281,"featured_media":80954,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,11,47,48],"tags":[11851,16010,1350,3177,1674,2400],"class_list":["post-80945","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-apologetics","category-church","category-theology","category-vocation","tag-free","tag-larry-sanger","tag-lutheranism","tag-pastoral-care","tag-pastors","tag-youth-ministry"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/a><\/p>\n