{"id":107931,"date":"2013-07-09T17:19:21","date_gmt":"2013-07-09T21:19:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/getreligion\/?p=107931"},"modified":"2013-07-10T11:20:43","modified_gmt":"2013-07-10T15:20:43","slug":"the-independent-rings-for-the-church-police","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/getreligion\/2013\/07\/the-independent-rings-for-the-church-police\/","title":{"rendered":"The Independent rings for the Church Police"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=UO0ZjJm-FPk<\/a>Son: (Graham Chapman, coming in the door)<\/em> \u2018Ello Mum. \u2018Ello Dad.<\/p>\n

Klaus: (Eric Idle<\/em>) \u2018Ello son.<\/p>\n

S: There\u2019s a dead bishop on the landing, dad!<\/p>\n

K: Really?<\/p>\n

Mother: (Terry Jones<\/em>) Where\u2019s it from?<\/p>\n

S: Waddya mean?<\/p>\n

M: What\u2019s its diocese?<\/p>\n

S: Well, it looked a bit Bath and Wells-ish to me.<\/p>\n

K: (getting up and going out the door)<\/em> I\u2019ll go and have a look.<\/p>\n

M: I don\u2019t know who keeps bringin\u2019 \u2019em in here.<\/p>\n

S: It\u2019s not me!<\/p>\n

M: I\u2019ve got three of \u2019em down by the bin, and the dustmen won\u2019t touch \u2019em!<\/p>\n

K: (coming back in)<\/em> Leicester.<\/p>\n

M: \u2018Ow d\u2019you know?<\/p>\n

K: Tattooed on the back o\u2019 the neck. I\u2019ll call the police.<\/p>\n

M: Shouldn\u2019t you call the church?<\/p>\n

S: Call the church police!<\/p>\n

K: All right. (shouting)<\/em> The Church Police! \u2026.<\/p>\n

And now for something completely different \u2014 a news report from The Independent<\/em> on this week\u2019s meeting of General Synod of the Church of England.<\/p>\n

But, that is not exactly true. Not the news report from York on the meeting of the Church of England\u2019s legislature \u2014 that is correct. Rather the suggestion that the story entitled \u201cDisruption at General Synod<\/a> as man arrested on suspicion of assaulting steward\u201d is not a farce akin to the Monty Python Church Police<\/em> skit.<\/p>\n

I sympathize with generalist reporters who are assigned to cover religion news stories. It presents a golden opportunity to make an ass of oneself. Alas, this story is an example. I do not mean the mangling of titles \u2026 The Archbishop of Canterbury is called on second and third reference \u201cMr. Welby\u201d and \u201cthe Most Rev Welby\u201d. Need I say that this is an error.<\/p>\n

It is not this naming error that prompted me to push this piece out in the Get Religion public eye. Rather it is the author\u2019s assumption that churches in England are\u00a0 prisons or military installations. Let me take you through this story to show you what I mean.<\/p>\n

The lede gives the basic details:<\/p>\n

A meeting of the General Synod was disrupted when a man, described by the Church of England as having \u201cpersonal health issues\u201d, was arrested for allegedly assaulting two stewards.<\/p>\n

A spokesman for the Church said a man was asked to wait as the Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby and the Archbishop of York Dr John Sentamu moved in procession to the front of York Minster. He reportedly then lashed out, leaving a member of Dr Sentamu\u2019s staff Dave Smith requiring treatment from ambulance staff.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The story adds further details, insinuating the man a the heart of the fray was a loon. The story then shifts to a discussion of the issues before synod using this bridge.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The worrying breach in security came as members of the Church\u2019s national assembly are today expected to formally endorse an apology over clerical child abuse.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

What \u201cworrying breach in security\u201d can there have been? Public worship is public worship. Anyone may attend. The sub-title also stresses this security theme.<\/p>\n

Embarrassing security failure man held just yards from Archbishop of Canterbury on day of high-profile formal announcement<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The Independent<\/em> does not explain why this was a security failure. Who was embarrassed? Security is provided at Church of England services by officious sensible-shoe wearing women bearing programs, weedy be-pimpled youths directing you to chairs or tightly blazered men passing the collection plate. There is actually a church office \u2014 vergers \u2014 responsible for security.<\/p>\n

But the concept of \u201csecurity\u201d is utterly foreign to a church setting. The Independent<\/em> approaches this story lacking a sense of what goes on, and who goes in to church.<\/p>\n

What were they expecting? The Church Police? Though nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Son: (Graham Chapman, coming in the door) \u2018Ello Mum. \u2018Ello Dad. Klaus: (Eric Idle) \u2018Ello son. S: There\u2019s a dead bishop on the landing, dad! K: Really? Mother: (Terry Jones) Where\u2019s it from? S: Waddya mean? M: What\u2019s its diocese? S: Well, it looked a bit Bath and Wells-ish to me. K: (getting up and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":600,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,7,24,48],"tags":[439,1933,1932,1931],"class_list":["post-107931","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anglicanism","category-journalism","category-world","category-worship","tag-church-of-england","tag-church-security","tag-monty-python","tag-the-independent"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Independent rings for the Church Police<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Son: (Graham Chapman, coming in the door) 'Ello Mum. 'Ello Dad. 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