{"id":797,"date":"2015-05-20T05:33:26","date_gmt":"2015-05-20T12:33:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/goodandtruth\/?p=797"},"modified":"2015-05-20T05:55:43","modified_gmt":"2015-05-20T12:55:43","slug":"cut-from-the-sermon-feeling-guilty-about-being-serene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/goodandtruth\/2015\/05\/cut-from-the-sermon-feeling-guilty-about-being-serene\/","title":{"rendered":"Cut from the Sermon: Feeling Guilty about Being Serene"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"Bathsheba's<\/a>On Sunday I preached about life going on after death \u2013 both for the person who has died, and for the people left behind (click here for sermon audio<\/a>). In the\u00a0first draft of my sermon I considered\u00a0building on comments about a passage from 2 Samuel\u00a0that our head pastor Malcolm had made in his sermon last week<\/a>;\u00a0I ended up cutting\u00a0it\u00a0because it took too long to frame and the sermon was long already. The passage recounts what King David said when his infant son died: \u201cI shall go to him, but he shall not return to me\u201d (2 Samuel 12:23). Malcolm quoted it to talk about the finality of death for those of us left behind \u2013 that there is a simple fact, that we will not see them again until after we\u2019ve died, and that hurts.<\/p>\n

That\u00a0resonated with me, and it\u2019s something I wanted to reiterate in my sermon. But since\u00a0I was talking about the aftermath of death, I also wanted to call attention to something else: that at a some point, we stop feeling the acute grief of losing someone. We realise a day has gone by where we didn\u2019t cry for them. And the first reaction on realising that can be guilt and fear that we\u2019ve betrayed their memory, and an attempt to pull ourselves back into acute grief. But that\u2019s not necessary \u2013 this is the way grief works. It doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019ve forgotten them, and there still will be times when you cry for them. But you do go back to living life.<\/p>\n

The passage from 2 Samuel speaks to this. The context is this: David had been told that his infant son would die as punishment for David\u2019s sin. The child became ill, and for a week David lay on the ground and refused to\u00a0eat anything. When the child died, David\u2019s servants were afraid to tell David, given how extreme his grief had been before<\/em>\u00a0the child had died. But David saw them whispering, deduced what had happened, and asked, \u201cIs the child dead?\u201d They said, \u201cHe is dead.\u201d Here\u2019s what happened next:<\/p>\n

David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate. Then his servants said to him, \u201cWhat is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food.\u201d And he said, \u201cWhile the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, \u2018Who can tell whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?\u2019 But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me\u201d (2 Samuel 12:20-23, NKJV).<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

David displays, in the words of the Serenity Prayer<\/a>, a shocking degree of \u201cserenity to accept the things he cannot change.\u201d\u00a0In context, David\u2019s statement is not one of resentment: it is a peaceful acknowledgment of a new reality, an acceptance that things are the way they are. Now, I don\u2019t think that this implies that grief is wrong, or that someone who weeps for a lost child is displaying a lack of trust in the Lord. Not at all! But I do think it reflects a state that is healthy to come to eventually,<\/em>\u00a0a state that need not inspire guilt \u2013 the simple acknowledgment that the person we love is not coming back, and that life goes on. We can go on with life because of the first acknowledgment: in the end, we\u00a0will<\/em>\u00a0go to them and see them again.<\/p>\n

(Image is \u201cDavid\u2019s Punishment\u201d by Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On Sunday I preached about life going on after death \u2013 both for the person who has died, and for the people left behind (click here for sermon audio). In the\u00a0first draft of my sermon I considered\u00a0building on comments about a passage from 2 Samuel\u00a0that our head pastor Malcolm had made in his sermon last […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":275,"featured_media":798,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[317],"class_list":["post-797","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-religion","tag-cut-from-the-sermon"],"yoast_head":"\nCut from the Sermon: Feeling Guilty about Being Serene<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"On Sunday I preached about life going on after death - both for the person who has died, and for the people left behind (click here for sermon audio). 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