\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cNothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.\u201d \u2013 Paul Tournier<\/p>\n
I have found that the most wonderful experiences in life can also be the most isolating.\u00a0 Marriage for example, is a wonderful companionship; however you can feel very alone when things aren\u2019t as Disney promised they would always and forever be.\u00a0 You look around for someone going through a similar situation yet all you find are perfect marriages.<\/p>\n
Parenting is too a wonderful companionship that delivers on more than what was promised; however when you feel your patience waning and your guilt growing you begin to look around for a comforting \u201cme too\u201d but all you find are patiently persevering parents with perfect progeny.\u00a0 And I guess this is where it begins, when those trials that we all face suddenly turn into secrets.\u00a0 On the surface you are a floating duck, smooth and elegant on the water; however below you are a pair of wheels spinning out of control and no one is the wiser.<\/p>\n
I remember intimating to a friend what I thought motherhood would be.\u00a0 I thought it was this big club of women with outstretched arms waiting to tell me all about it.\u00a0 I thought it would be people championing one another during the highs and carrying one another during the lows.\u00a0 What I found though was a bit disappointing; instead of a club it was more like a sorority.\u00a0 Everyone was wearing the duds (I only shop at Lulu) and cleaning the house (her name is Mimi) and cooking the meals (you feed your baby from a jar?) and cultivating romantic relationships with their husbands (I love my new curves) while excelling at extra curricular activities (work has been really great).\u00a0 I was not.\u00a0 When deciding my options over what to do when baby was napping, sleep always won out, which meant showers were so yesterday (or was that the day before?)<\/p>\n
I heard Will Smith once make a funny comparison saying that when he bought his big screen TV it came with a 70-page booklet written in 12 languages, yet when he had his first child the hospital just handed him the baby and said, \u2018here\u2019.<\/p>\n
\u00a0 No matter how many books you may have read going into it, the reality of motherhood can hit the best of us pretty hard.\u00a0 On those days when I felt like I was being hit hard all I wanted was for someone to comfort me, but outside my circle of friends (and into the greater mom community) I found on occasion that when I looked around for calm eyes, I found judgmental stares and when I looked for conversation I found veiled disapproval.\u00a0 It is here that I came to a fork in the road: I could lock my fears and anxieties away and become the graceful languid bird on the water or I could be a less graceful bird, the chicken, running around with its head cut off.\u00a0 I\u2019m proud to say I chose the latter.\u00a0 That\u2019s not to say I don\u2019t have graceful days or that I\u2019m always frenzied but rather that I\u2019ve allowed myself the freedom to be truthful about those frantic days and not push them down to a place where they become something I feel embarrassed by.<\/p>\n
Now I freely share stories of me and my chickadee because I\u2019m not ashamed for anyone to know (big news flash) that I\u2019m not perfect and that I have moments as well as entire days that I wish I could do over but even then, I wouldn\u2019t consider them to be failures.\u00a0 I may not have hit it out of the park those day but I went to bat.\u00a0 I tried and for that there is a lesson for my daughter: I will never be perfect and I will certainly make mistakes but I will always try my best for you.\u00a0 And inshallah, in the end I pray (as all mothers do) that my best will have been good enough.<\/p>\n
Lena Hassan<\/p>\n
Lena Hassan lives in Ottawa, Ontario and is a loving mother to one.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cNothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.\u201d \u2013 Paul Tournier I have found that the most wonderful experiences in life can also be the most isolating.\u00a0 Marriage for example, is a wonderful companionship; however you can feel very alone when things aren\u2019t as Disney promised they would always and forever be.\u00a0 You look […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1573,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[62,233,374,496,627,630,828,830,41177,923,1123,1156,1176,1239,1255],"class_list":["post-1285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-motherhood","tag-allah","tag-community","tag-embarrassment","tag-growmama","tag-islam","tag-islamic-parenting","tag-muslim-mom","tag-muslim-moms","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-with-guilt","tag-secrets","tag-shame","tag-sisterhood","tag-sunnah","tag-taboo"],"yoast_head":"\n