Looking back now it\u2019s funny to think that by my mid-twenties I had thought that all my exciting firsts were behind me.\u00a0 However in the past 2.5 years I\u2019ve experienced a lot of firsts that have pushed all my other firsts to second place.\u00a0 Getting married, my first home, my first child and inevitably, my first emotional moment as a mother.<\/div>\n
\n
I was singing to my little girl while changing her, \u201cYou are my sunshine, my only sunshine.\u00a0 You make me happy when skies are grey.\u00a0 You\u2019ll never know dear, how much I love you\u2026\u201d And it is here that I began to cry.\u00a0 It may be a simple nursery rhyme however truer words have not been spoken\/sung.\u00a0 Our children will truly never know how much we love them, and isn\u2019t this the most beautiful and painful aspect of motherhood?<\/p>\n
Our children change us so much yet they have no idea because there is this idea perpetuated that birth is a one-way street.\u00a0 Yes, of course in the most literal sense we have birthed our babies; however, are we not the ones truly reborn?\u00a0 I sincerely believe my daughter has given birth to a new me.\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s small things like reforming my old habits of deep sleep to become the lightest sleeper of all time (I now wake up at the click of a light switch), or big things like, oh I don\u2019t know, every aspect of motherhood, I feel renewed.<\/p>\n
I feel tired, yet refreshed; anxious, yet strong in my resolve; scared, yet highly protective, and I will never be able to fully communicate the complexity and depth of my love for her because all words and all actions fail.\u00a0 And it is within this pause of realization that another awareness unfolds, and I\u2019m reminded of my relationship with Allah.\u00a0 Is this not how Allah loves us?\u00a0 Protects us?\u00a0 Guides us?\u00a0 And yet what sign or revelation is more of an apt symbol than motherhood?\u00a0 I have felt Allah\u2019s reassurance, guidance and mercy more now than ever before, and perhaps this is because it\u2019s one thing to know the wall is there to lean on, but quite another to embrace the relief that only something so sturdy can give.\u00a0 And only now do I truly know what it is to love for the sake of Allah.\u00a0 And no one can take that sunshine away.<\/p>\n
Lena Hassan<\/p>\n
Lena Hassan lives in Ottowa, Canada. She is mother to one little girl. <\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Looking back now it\u2019s funny to think that by my mid-twenties I had thought that all my exciting firsts were behind me.\u00a0 However in the past 2.5 years I\u2019ve experienced a lot of firsts that have pushed all my other firsts to second place.\u00a0 Getting married, my first home, my first child and inevitably, my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1572,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,16,18],"tags":[68,630,797,815,1243],"class_list":["post-129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spirituality","category-motherhood","category-parenting","tag-allahs-love","tag-islamic-parenting","tag-motherhood-2","tag-muslim","tag-sunshine"],"yoast_head":"\n
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