{"id":2830,"date":"2012-05-14T05:00:03","date_gmt":"2012-05-14T09:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/growmama.com\/?p=2830"},"modified":"2012-05-14T05:00:03","modified_gmt":"2012-05-14T09:00:03","slug":"how-to-survive-your-first-year-of-motherhood-in-a-foreign-country","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/growmama\/lite\/how-to-survive-your-first-year-of-motherhood-in-a-foreign-country\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Survive Your First Year of Motherhood in a Foreign Country"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>![\"\"](\"https:\/\/politicsontoast.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/07\/euroflags.jpg\")
All right, I\u2019ve been here in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, for about three and-a-half months now and I\u2019ve probably cried the equivalent of at least one of those months so far. No, don\u2019t say \u201cAww, she\u2019s miserable.\u201d\u00a0 For the record, I\u2019m not miserable or suicidal; I am a first time mother of a beautiful five-month-old baby boy who moved halfway across the world with my husband seven weeks after giving birth. \u00a0Do I love my little boy in a completely indescribable way that only other moms would be able to understand? Yes. Does he make me so crazy that I want to run full force into a brick wall screaming at the top of my lungs? You bet. Welcome to a day in the life of a stay-at-home mom\u2026 in a foreign country.<\/p>\n
Dawn. Creep out of bed like I\u2019m doing Tai Chi. Must. Not. Wake. Sleeping. Baby. Wash up, say my morning prayers, and then slip back into bed. Hubby\u2019s up getting ready for work so I have space to stretch out on my back (after nine months of not being able to do that, you know how great that feels).\u00a0 Close my eyes, go to my happy place, and drift off to sleep\u2026 for about ten minutes. Idris used to sleep until about 9 am but has now assigned the first few rays of sunlight seeping through the curtains as his official alarm clock. After the usual moan and groan and \u201cYou gotta be freakin\u2019 kidding me,\u201d I look over to find Idris bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, smiling sweetly at me with a look that says, \u201cCome on mommy, let\u2019s play!\u201d Yeah, he\u2019s cute like that. Now I could give you a complete play-by-play of our day from here, or I could sum it up with a brief description: Nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse some more, nurse a little bit more\u2026and a little bit more, nap, change stinky diaper, play, soothe cranky baby, nurse, nurse, nurse some more, and some more\u2026and a little bit more, take a deep breath and call on the Lord for strength, escape to the bathroom for some peace because that is now officially the only alone time I get (and even then I get interrupted), change several more stinky diapers, nurse several more times, soothe cranky baby several more times, call on the Lord several more times, put baby to bed and finally collapse for about two hours of uninterrupted sleep, three, if I\u2019m lucky. Lather, rinse, repeat.<\/p>\n
Some things about motherhood are universal (see above rant). One of those is unsolicited advice.\u00a0 Everybody and their grandma has an opinion about what I could and should be doing better. Now, although my boy weighs a good 18 or so pounds, apparently my breast milk isn\u2019t good enough. \u201cJust breastmilk!\u201d one mom said with a look of shock like I told her we give him martinis or something.\u00a0 Another mom told me to give him formula because my milk was \u201ctoo little.\u201d She even gave me the brand name to use, S-26. Now you tell me, would you give your child something called S-26? I mean I know it\u2019s formula, but does it have to sound like a formula? It sounds like something you use to clean rust off metal, not something you give your baby. S-26 is now a household joke. \u201cOh, Idris is still hungry, give him some S-26. And if there\u2019s any left over, use it to clean the windows.\u201d<\/p>\n
What\u2019s unique about motherhood in Ethiopia? Well, they have an interesting way of keeping babies quiet and getting their attention. They snap their fingers in front Idris\u2019s face, clapping their hands, banging on glass\u2026 Did I say interesting? I meant to say annoying. I want to ask them kindly to please stop, but as it turns out, the little booger likes it, smiling and cooing to their satisfaction. Ethiopian moms are also viciously protective against the possibility of a chilly draft giving their baby a runny nose. It\u2019s not unusual to see babies wearing what look like snowsuits, winter hats, and at least three blankets\u2026in 80-degree weather. When I take Idris to the pediatrician in short sleeves and (gasp!) no hat, the air in the waiting room is thick with disapproving looks.<\/p>\n
Being a mother is hard work. Every mom tells you, warns you, how hard it\u2019s going to be, but you just don\u2019t know until you become one. You work nights and weekends. No lunch or bathroom breaks. And your boss screams at you if you\u2019re late with his luncAnd it\u2019s lonely too, especially when you\u2019re a stay-at-home mom. The world keeps moving without you. The life you\u2019re used to no longer exists. And even though you know everybody\u2019s doing the same old thing, suddenly everybody\u2019s lives seem so fascinating and interesting and yours seems so\u2026not. (But don\u2019t worry, it does get better).<\/p>\n
Most days are good. Having a baby keeps you busy and gives you plenty to look forward to. For Idris, everything is new and exciting, and I can see it in the way his eyes dance. I could spend the whole day looking at my son, watching him attempt to crawl or reach for things, or smiling at the curious look on his face when he sees a bird or a lizard, wondering what is going on in that little brain of his. Or probably every mom\u2019s favorite, gazing at your sleeping baby\u2019s face, the tiny grimaces, the pouts, the smiles\u2014babies must have some intense dreams!<\/p>\n
But some days aren\u2019t so good. Idris wakes up in a funky mood and will only be pacified by nursing and screams bloody murder if I try to take him off. Or he\u2019ll only sleep in my arms and wakes up every single time I put him down. Or I\u2019m grumpy because he woke up about ten times the night before but still got up bright and early, energized and ready to play like nothing happened. \u00a0Those days when you want a break but can\u2019t have one because you are mommy and no one can do your job but you.<\/p>\n
Those are the days when being thousands of miles away from home really, really sucks. When I can\u2019t call my sister and ask her to come over. Or meet a friend for some tea and sympathy. Those are the days when I just want to throw myself on the floor and have a good old-fashioned six-year-old temper\u00a0 tantrum, pounding my fists, screaming, \u201cI WANNA GO HOME!!\u201d\u00a0 Okay so it isn\u2019t that dramatic, but it\u2019s tough. It\u2019s lonely. It\u2019s monotonous. It\u2019s\u2026motherhood. So I have myself a good cry, get it all out my system, then I throw some water on my face and tell myself, \u201cAlright girl, get it together.\u201d Because it\u2019s okay to cry, it\u2019s okay to feel lonely or sad, or want a break, sometimes. But eventually you have to get yourself together because you have a baby to take care of.<\/p>\n
So how do you survive your first year of motherhood, no matter where you are?<\/p>\n
How should I know? I\u2019ve only been at this for five months. Ask me later.<\/p>\n
\n
No, seriously, you do what you have to do to keep going strong. You count your blessings, starting with number one\u2014that adorable little baby you carried around with you all those months. You find something fun to do (it is possible). Cry, if it helps. Keep a journal. Take a walk. Call on the Lord for strength. Take a break, when and if you can, even if it\u2019s only a few minutes in the bathroom. Try to find the humor in things. And most of all, enjoy it, because they sure do grow fast. There will be some bad days, but you\u2019ll get through them. They will come, but they will also go.<\/p>\n
Here they have a saying, \u2018keus ba keus,\u2019 slowly but slowly, and it\u2019s used for any situation that requires patience. So keus ba keus, slowly but slowly, I think I\u2019m getting the hang of this motherhood thing.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\nThe author would like to note that this\u00a0was written more than\u00a0two years\u00a0ago when\u00a0she was experiencing new motherhood and\u00a0her first time abroad at the same time and that\u00a0she is\u00a0now back home in New Orleans and much calmer. \u00a0 In retrospect, her frustration had very little to do with Ethiopia (a country\u00a0she loves and misses) and more to do with learning how to be a mother.\u00a0 Look forward to a follow-up post in the coming weeks!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ambata Kazi-Nance<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Ambata Kazi-Nance is a freelance writer and full-time mother.\u00a0She lives in her hometown of New Orleans with her husband and son. Ms. Kazi-Nance\u00a0is a candidate for the Master\u2019s degree in English from the University of New Orleans and is an aspiring fiction writer. She blogs occasionally at MORmama.wordpress.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"All right, I\u2019ve been here in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, for about three and-a-half months now and I\u2019ve probably cried the equivalent of at least one of those months so far. No, don\u2019t say \u201cAww, she\u2019s miserable.\u201d\u00a0 For the record, I\u2019m not miserable or suicidal; I am a first time mother of a beautiful five-month-old baby […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1573,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,16,18],"tags":[77,78,384,797],"class_list":["post-2830","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lite","category-motherhood","category-parenting","tag-ambata","tag-ambata-kazi-nance","tag-ethiopia","tag-motherhood-2"],"yoast_head":"\n
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