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When fellow mothers tell me about a child\u2019s violent temper tantrum, I feel a flood of heat surge through my body as I am reminded of my own experiences with my boys. It was often scary, lonely, and made me feel like a failure as a parent. While some children are more easy-going than others, many are sensitive to outside circumstances and stimuli. This, coupled with a limited ability to communicate, can leave a child with only one option to fully express themselves \u2013 the ever dreaded tantrum.<\/p>\n
Here are a list of possible methods I have compiled over the years that have helped me to ease the struggle.<\/p>\n
1. Disregard others around you.<\/em><\/p>\n Kids will embarrass you in public and it\u2019s not a reflection of you as a parent. Stick to your guns. Avoid eye contact with others while you do what you need to do. Many a time, I\u2019ve walked out of the mall with a kid kicking and screaming under my arms, or strapping them in a stroller kicking and screaming while I (try) to ignore onlookers.<\/p>\n 2. Don\u2019t be scared of them!<\/em><\/p>\n I used to be scared of the screaming\/tantrums. So here is your assignment: Wake up every morning, look in the mirror and say, \u201cI\u2019m the adult, I\u2019m in charge and I dictate the rules.\u201d I use this affirmation each morning to prepare for those harder times. I don\u2019t always stick to it, but the reminder helps reaffirm my intention.<\/p>\n 3. Communicate.<\/em><\/p>\n Much frustration comes from children\u2019s inability to express their wants\/needs. Gestures and pictures can be helpful to establish routine and identify things they don\u2019t yet have words for. Pick major parts of your day, and create a picture schedule or create a little board or picture book that you can run through any time they seem to want something you\u2019re not understanding. The concept is similar to sign language without having to teach specific signs. It also helps build vocabulary.<\/p>\n 4. Check for signs of illness or pain.<\/em><\/p>\n Something may be bothering them. Teeth, ears, stomach ache, etc. Try to make sure you\u2019ve explored these options when coping with a tantrum. Not doing so may just result in a longer, more unpleasant tantrum, and a very unhappy child.<\/p>\n 5. Help them transition.<\/em><\/p>\n Give your child notice before any transitions. Let them know how much time they have left (even if their concept of time isn\u2019t fully developed) and what activity is coming up next. \u201cTen more minutes, and we have to leave.\u201d It helps them mentally prepare to \u00a0stop doing something they are in the middle of and introduces them to what is to come.<\/p>\n 6. Ignore.<\/em><\/p>\n When they would tantrum at home, I would put them in a playpen, crib, highchair, etc. and walk away. It\u2019s really important that you leave them in a safe place where they can\u2019t hurt themselves, but not indulge the spectacle by being a spectator. After three or four days, the ignoring really starts to work. At first, it would get worse than usual, like \u201cOh, she\u2019s not hearing me; I need to be louder, crazier, etc!\u201d and then it \u00a0eventually went from worse to a lot better.<\/p>\n Hala Amer<\/p>\n Hala is a full-time mom of 3 boys, homeschooler, occasional\u00a0blogger<\/a>,\u00a0avid reader, closet superhero\u00a0junkie,\u00a0tea-enthusiast, chocolate-eater, aspiring foodie and founder of the\u00a0Muslim Mom Network<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0She resides with her family in NJ.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" GrowMama is pleased to share some real life advice from a mom deep in the trenches. GrowMama contributor and mother of three, Hala Amer, shares her tried and true tips to help diffuse and deactivate temper tantrums in this week\u2019s two part series. Tune in on Thursday, February\u00a021st for the remainder of her tips. When […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1573,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[118,801,41177,925,1225,1292],"class_list":["post-5307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-motherhood","tag-behavior","tag-motherhood-lessons","tag-parenting","tag-patience","tag-struggle","tag-temper-tantrums"],"yoast_head":"\n