{"id":8646,"date":"2012-10-17T09:15:58","date_gmt":"2012-10-17T15:15:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/holyrover\/?p=8646"},"modified":"2012-10-17T09:15:58","modified_gmt":"2012-10-17T15:15:58","slug":"60-things-shes-learned-the-hard-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/holyrover\/2012\/10\/17\/60-things-shes-learned-the-hard-way\/","title":{"rendered":"60 Things She's Learned the Hard Way"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"
Rebecca Christian<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p>

I wouldn\u2019t be a writer today if it wasn\u2019t for my friend and mentor Rebecca Christian, a Renaissance-woman-extraordinaire who has taught me much about life as well as writing. In her most-recent column in the <\/em>Dubuque Telegraph Herald, she offered this list:<\/em><\/p>\n

On the occasion of a decade-breaking birthday, I offer 60 things I\u2019ve learned the hard way.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Few occasions are worthy of shapewear.<\/p>\n

2. In this world you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. (Elwood P. Dowd)<\/p>\n

3. Don\u2019t try to understand the opposite sex. Just enjoy it.<\/p>\n

4. With kids, don\u2019t count to three unless you know what happens at four.<\/p>\n

5. Two things are worth staying up for: a troubled friend and a good book.<\/p>\n

6. Perfectionism is procrastination in disguise.<\/p>\n

7. Don\u2019t talk ugly. (Mom)<\/p>\n

8. One bathroom is enough; it promotes cooperation.<\/p>\n

9. You\u2019re only as happy as your saddest kid.<\/p>\n

10. Better to go to bed mad than to stay up ranting.<\/p>\n

11. If you hear the same criticism from multiple sources, it\u2019s true.<\/p>\n

12. Don\u2019t be humble; you\u2019re not that great. (Golda Meir)<\/p>\n

13. Your first instinct is right.<\/p>\n

14. A smile is a free facelift.<\/p>\n

15. 90 days same as cash = debt + interest in 90 days.<\/p>\n

16. If they\u2019re selling sumpin, it ain\u2019t a party.<\/p>\n

17. Do what you were born to do.<\/p>\n

18. Expectation is the route to all heartache. (Shakespeare)<\/p>\n

19. Everybody needs one friend they can call any time of the day or night.<\/p>\n

20. The rate of return for reading to kids is better than the stock market.<\/p>\n

21. Grandkids are worth every ache, wrinkle and bunion.<\/p>\n

22. No matter how cynical you become, it\u2019s never enough to keep up. (Lily Tomlin)<\/p>\n

23. Nothing makes you look more pathetic than young people\u2019s slang \u2014 except hotpants.<\/p>\n

24. Love your country.<\/p>\n

25. Avoid foods your great-grandparents wouldn\u2019t recognize.<\/p>\n

26. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. (Maya Angelou)<\/p>\n

27. Never ask a woman if she\u2019s pregnant.<\/p>\n

28. The sun will come out tomorrow. (Annie)<\/p>\n

29. Addiction trumps character. If the Pope drank a fifth of vodka, he wouldn\u2019t act like the Pope.<\/p>\n

30. Things not to buy cheap: toilet paper and tape.<\/p>\n

31. If you find yourself saying, \u201cI don\u2019t mean to offend you,\u201d you\u2019re about to.<\/p>\n

32. Know the janitor\u2019s name as well as the CEO\u2019s.<\/p>\n

33. Time with old folks and little kids is well spent.<\/p>\n

34. There is no try, only do. (Yoda)<\/p>\n

35. Never follow \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d with \u201cbut.\u201d<\/p>\n

36. I can be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity. (Gilda \u00a0 \u00a0Radner)<\/p>\n

37. Disable call waiting except for emergencies.<\/p>\n

38. If your butt smiles, your pants are too tight.<\/p>\n

39. Don\u2019t say what can\u2019t be unsaid.<\/p>\n

40. Buy yourself flowers.<\/p>\n

41. You can\u2019t please everyone, so you gotta please yourself. (Ricky Nelson)<\/p>\n

42. Sweat the big stuff.<\/p>\n

43. Love is not just a feeling, but also a decision.<\/p>\n

44. Let it be. (The Beatles)<\/p>\n

45. Poetry works better than prescriptions for easing pain.<\/p>\n

46. The question is not what you look at, but what you see. (Henry David Thoreau)<\/p>\n

47. Nothing\u2019s cozier than a shared marital grudge.<\/p>\n

48. Don\u2019t assume. It could be spelled \u201cSmythe.\u201d<\/p>\n

49. If you tell the truth you don\u2019t have to remember anything. (Mark Twain)<\/p>\n

50. Avoid fake anything, especially butter.<\/p>\n

51. Don\u2019t postpone the urge to do good; it vanishes quickly.<\/p>\n

52. The sun don\u2019t shine on the same old dog\u2019s butt every Saturday afternoon. (Hayden Fry)<\/p>\n

53. You stop being a child when you have a child.<\/p>\n

54. Don\u2019t undertake a recipe that takes more hours than you were in labor with your first child.<\/p>\n

55. When you feel uneasy \u2013 in a relationship or a dark parking lot \u2013 skedaddle.<\/p>\n

56. Be sure your sins will know you. (Grandma)<\/p>\n

57. Quibbling with a spouse in public makes you look like a jerk. No exceptions.<\/p>\n

58. Don\u2019t say you\u2019re fine if you\u2019re not.<\/p>\n

59. Fashion changes; style endures.<\/p>\n

60. Be yourself; everyone else is taken. (Oscar Wilde)<\/p>\n

Addendum from Lori: One thing I\u2019ve learned the easy way is that Rebecca Christian is a jewel among friends. Happy Birthday, Rebecca!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I wouldn\u2019t be a writer today if it wasn\u2019t for my friend and mentor Rebecca Christian, a Renaissance-woman-extraordinaire who has taught me much about life as well as writing. In her most-recent column in the Dubuque Telegraph Herald, she offered this list: On the occasion of a decade-breaking birthday, I offer 60 things I\u2019ve learned […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2582,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[175,608],"class_list":["post-8646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-advice","tag-rebecca-christian"],"yoast_head":"\n60 Things She's Learned the Hard Way<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I wouldn't be a writer today if it wasn't for my friend and mentor Rebecca Christian, a Renaissance-woman-extraordinaire who has taught me much about life\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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