\u201cSome people worship money.\u00a0 Some people worship many gods.\u00a0 We mainly worship just one god.\u201d\u00a0 Thus pronounced Ezra, as he was assessing our family\u2019s spiritual devotion.<\/p>\n
Apparently he had been chewing on last week\u2019s Sunday School lesson about the ten commandments, and had decided that while we \u201cmainly worshipped just one God,\u201d sometimes we fall a little short.\u00a0 During the lesson, I spent a lot of time contrasting the beliefs of the wandering Israelites with the beliefs of the polytheistic cultures around them.\u00a0 I also spent a lot of time talking about how hard it was for the Israelites to hang on to those beliefs when they were tired, hungry, thirsty, and sick of all that sand.\u00a0 At times like that, I reminded the five- to ten-year-olds in my class, it\u2019s hard not to fashion yourself a little idol, a golden calf to stave off uncertainty and fear.<\/p>\n
Many of you have read our struggles over the last year with one of our son\u2019s diagnoses.\u00a0 He now has so many letters on his chart, it\u2019s hard to keep them all straight. Some days, I can\u2019t imagine that God ever made a creature as lovely as my son.\u00a0 Other days, I am filled with dread as I try to imagine his future.\u00a0 On days like that, it\u2019s hard to resist the urge to melt my earrings and hire another expert to make things better.<\/p>\n
This week, we received the results of genetic testing that we did after one of our son\u2019s many doctors noticed some \u201cdysmorphic\u201d features.\u00a0 We waited for three months for the appointment and another three months for the results.\u00a0 During that entire time, I kept wondering what it would mean if they told us that he had a genetic syndrome of one type or another.\u00a0 Who and what did I trust for the well being of my child?<\/p>\n
It turns out that they didn\u2019t identify a specific genetic disorder.\u00a0 And yet, the doctor said, he does have all of these symptoms of someone whose genetic makeup is not typical.\u00a0 So there is a chance that down the road, as more and more syndromes are identified, we\u2019ll have a name for the particular genetic cocktail that is our son.\u00a0 They recommended that we check back in every year for another screening.\u00a0 Just as they are identifying more and more syndromes each year, they are more and more hopeful of curing those syndromes.<\/p>\n
Now I know that there are a lot of people out there who think that we shouldn\u2019t \u201ctreat\u201d syndromic children.\u00a0 They are different and special and unique, so why would you want to treat them?\u00a0 But I\u2019m not so sure.\u00a0 What about cancer?\u00a0 Or cleft lips?\u00a0 If we could give kids a pill to cure their dyslexia, would we not do that?\u00a0 How do we decide?<\/p>\n
The problem is that when you idolize intelligence, and creativity, and competence, and self-sufficiency, when you worship cleverness, and social savvy, and ordered thinking, behavior, and filing systems, well, then it\u2019s hard to know when you are intervening to help your child \u201creach his full potential,\u201d and when you are intervening because you refuse to love the child you have and worship the God who gave you that child.<\/p>\n
When the latest research reveals that brains are far more plastic than anyone had suspected, meaning that they can grow and that new neural connections can be established, should we not work as hard as possible to help children lay new pathways that don\u2019t include intense anxiety when plans change?\u00a0 What about new pathways to help them read social cues?\u00a0 Or understand higher order thinking questions?\u00a0 Where do you stop?<\/p>\n
The questions for Jeff and me are about how to help our son without rejecting the gift God has given us in the exact form of this one child.\u00a0 Our son was not a mistake.\u00a0 God has a purpose for him, and he will no doubt use this child\u2019s unique mix of strengths and weaknesses for a unique purpose.<\/p>\n
But I\u2019m not ready to say that all of his struggles, even those that are genetically determined, are determined for life.\u00a0 And I don\u2019t think this means that I have made an idol of being typical.\u00a0 But maybe I\u2019m wrong.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not ready to say that it\u2019s okay with me if he struggles socially his entire life.\u00a0 And I don\u2019t think it means I have made an idol out of social competence.\u00a0 But maybe I\u2019m deluding myself.<\/p>\n
My prayers these days have been for my son to have a great relationship with God, to be a great husband and father, and to enjoy meaningful work. \u00a0I don\u2019t think these are idols. Maybe, though, I\u2019ve made an idol of myself, thinking I know best what to pray for.<\/p>\n
The trick, I suppose, is in letting God figure out if and how to make all of those dreams a reality, letting God direct our efforts, and laying down my reliance on experts and interventions.<\/p>\n
Ezra\u2019s assessment that we \u201cmainly worship just one God\u201d might currently be overly optimistic.\u00a0 But the story is not over.<\/p>\n
As we got in the car today to head out for the long weekend, Zach prayed, \u201cLord, help us get all the way there safely.\u201d<\/p>\n
Amen.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cSome people worship money.\u00a0 Some people worship many gods.\u00a0 We mainly worship just one god.\u201d\u00a0 Thus pronounced Ezra, as he was assessing our family\u2019s spiritual devotion. Apparently he had been chewing on last week\u2019s Sunday School lesson about the ten commandments, and had decided that while we \u201cmainly worshipped just one God,\u201d sometimes we fall […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":190,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[175,244,5],"class_list":["post-885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-diagnoses","tag-disabilities","tag-homeschool"],"yoast_head":"\n