If you’re on Facebook long enough, you’ll probably get a wall post, a message, or a chat request from someone who seems to be one of your contacts, but soon reveals themselves to be someone who has hijacked their account, and it trying to get something out of you. Or at least, that’s the hope: that you figure out it’s not them before you lose your shirt.
The other night, my wife Jessica was chatted up on Facebook by just such a scammer, and very quickly clued in. But unlike most folks, who would probably end the conversation as soon as the ruse was revealed, decided to scam the scammer right back. The exchange is hilarious.
Some quick context. It is about 6:30 am, and Jess is up to tend to our awakened toddler. The scammer is posing as a friend of ours who lives in Arizona. So not to tempt other scammers, I won’t say who the real friend is, but we’ll call her “Jane” for now. Importantly, “Jane” is also a pastor with the United Church of Christ.
Jane (the scammer):
how are you doing?
why are you up at this hour???!?!
did you have a baby too?
i am not too good at the moment
oh no what’s going on?
do you want to call?
i am stuck here in London,England
got mugged at gun-point last night
Jess (now aware this is a scam):
I thought you weren’t allowed to leave the country because of your parole?!?!?!
i was here for personal issues
all cash,credit cards and phone was taken away
Jane:it was a scary and awful experience but thank God i still have my life and passport
Jane you don’t believe in God! [remember, “Jane” is a pastor]
Are you drunk?
my return flight is scheduled to leave in few hours from now..Please i need your help
are you there?
I think you must have been drinking.
You’re not making much sense.
please i need you to help me with a loan of $980 to sort out my bills and also take a cab to the airport
i will definitely pay back
You’re not in England. I just talked to you on the phone yesterday.
WERE YOU KIDNAPPED!?!?!?
That would make sense!
i got here last night
are you willing to help me or not?
I am going to need you to apologize for that other thing though.
I mean, it’s pretty crazy you are asking me for a favor after what you did.
i am sorry…please i got limited tome here
That’s all you have to say after you got pregnant with Paul’s baby??!!? ‘i am sorry’
That’s not good enough.
we will talk about it when i get back to the states
please can you help me with the money?
How much money do you want? Does it have to be London money? I don’t have any of that.
Jane is offline.
My wife is a genius.