Positive talk

The words you use have an enormous impact on yourself and those around you. Unfortunately, most people use very negative language both in their own internal thoughts and in the words they speak to others. A powerful technique for success, which you can use every day, is to consciously make your language more positive.

Look for ways to state things in a positive manner, rather than as a negative. When people ask you how your day is going, do you ever use “not bad” as your reply? Think of how completely negative that is. Instead, say “great!” and instantly feel how much more positive it makes you. Avoid the use of double negatives whenever possible. Rather than saying “I’m not opposed to that idea” say “I’m really like that idea.”

When someone gives you a compliment, say “thank you.” That seems obvious, yet it is surprising how many people will use a compliment as an excuse to put themselves down. In response to “That’s a nice looking shirt you have on” they’ll say, “Oh, it was just something I had hanging in the back of the closet.” Such a reply is negative for both people involved. It is always appropriate to say “thank you.”

Substitute “perhaps” for “might.” “Perhaps we can meet for lunch tomorrow” is much more positive than “We might be able to meet for lunch tomorrow.” “Might” is wishy-washy and can mean “no” as often as it means “yes.” “Perhaps” is much more confident, helpful and positive, while not being too presumptuous.

Watch out for “if.” Use “when” instead. “If you decide to join our project” leaves open the negative option of not joining the company. “When you decide to join our project” is much more positively oriented.

Be careful of using “but.” It has the tendency to negate anything that is said before it. How does the following sentence sound to you? “I think you’ll like this house, but there are some improvements which need to be made.” Not very positive. Many times, “and” can be substituted for “but,” making the statement much more positive. “I think you’ll like this house, and I can suggest some improvements which will make it even better.” Wow! What a difference.

Avoid “would have” and “could have.” These phrases are oriented in the past, and have a whining, negative tone. They are often used by people who don’t want to accept responsibility.

Use “will” instead of “try.” If one person told you “I’ll try to be there on time” and another person told you “I will be there on time,” which one would you expect to arrive on time? Eliminating “try” will make you more positive and believable, even when talking to yourself.

Whatever you say, say in a positive way. And make your whole world a more positive place.