{"id":1021,"date":"2012-03-28T18:08:52","date_gmt":"2012-03-28T18:08:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/irreverin.com\/?p=1021"},"modified":"2012-03-28T18:08:52","modified_gmt":"2012-03-28T18:08:52","slug":"the-business-of-babies-a-shopping-list-a-lent-reflection-a-bit-of-a-memoir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/irreverin\/2012\/03\/the-business-of-babies-a-shopping-list-a-lent-reflection-a-bit-of-a-memoir\/","title":{"rendered":"The Business of Babies: A shopping list, a Lent reflection, and a bit of a memoir…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I recently cleared my house of ALOT of baby and kid stuff; not just outgrown clothes, but bouncers, extra strollers,\u00a0baby seats and\u2026 on and on. Which caused me to reflect on how much of the stuff had actually been useful, and how much had just been in the way.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be fooled\u2013babies are a business<\/em>.\u00a0 The folks at Target, Wal-Mart, and Tiny-Stuff-R-Us KNOW how to play on 1<\/strong>-your hormones, \u00a02-<\/strong>your\u00a0loss of control\u00a0over your life and\/or 3<\/strong>-your feelings of inadequacy. They play up all the baggage that comes with being a new parent\/grandparent\/friend of parent, and compel you to spend your kid\u2019s college tuition on matching hats and onesies.<\/p>\n

Not only is\u00a0this business\u00a0costly and time-consuming, it also sets up some expectations about how much \u201cstuff\u201d your kid should have\u2013as in, always. Furthermore, it compromises the space that is your home, your sanctuary. We took each of our babies home to a 1400 sq-foot house. And while that is larger than, say, a mud hut in Africa, or a flat in Manhattan, it is not huge. You can only maneuver so many exer-bouncy-rolly things in that space before you forget where you put the actual baby.<\/p>\n

As I went through all this stuff,\u00a0I set aside some things for a friend who is having a baby soon. Then i went about making her a \u2018shopping list\u2019 of what you actually need, vs. what you might need\u2026which led me into what you really never need, and what, of course, the church ladies will buy for\u00a0you. (If you are expecting a baby and you don\u2019t have church ladies in your life, I suggest you find some, stat. For more reasons than i can count here. That is a blog for another day!)<\/p>\n

So, in the interest of simplifying your life, and saving your wallet (and your dignity) from the baby aisle, here is my list:<\/p>\n

Stuff You Need<\/span> (<\/strong>buy before the baby actually shows up)<\/p>\n

-Diapers<\/em><\/strong>. Don\u2019t be a hero. Get the kind that you throw away. At least<\/em> for newborns. If you don\u2019t know why, you will soon. Also, I am not convinced that\u00a0cloth diapers save the world much, in the long run. They require the doing of lots of laundry\u2013which is not only an extra chore to do (when you have a newborn!) it also means lots of water, detergent, and electricity. In the desert at least, water matters more than trash.\u00a0 Oh, and don\u2019t get eco-friendly wipes either. You wind up using 8 of them for every one\u00a0that you would use of another brand\u2026<\/p>\n

-Swaddlers.<\/strong><\/em> Lacking motor skills, babies whack themselves in the head alot, and then get really pissed about it. You know, babies are pissed a great deal of the time anyway. If you can save them this one small frustration, they might actually sleep sometimes. Not to mention, the wrapping strengthens their limbs for that basketball scholarship you are hoping they will win\u2013since you are spending all their tuition money on matching nursery stuff (i\u2019ll get to that in a minute). We loved these<\/a>, although both our kids were exceptional and required to be double wrapped\u2013a receiving blanket first, with the velcro thing over top. They will show you how to do it in the hospital, and if they don\u2019t, ask. My husband was a natural\u2013said it was just like rolling a joint. (Not that he\u2019d know, Mom. Not that he\u2019d know\u2026) Also, steal a couple of those receiving blankets from the hospital. One less thing to buy, AND, the kind that you buy are too small, anyway.<\/p>\n

\u2013A Fisher Price Rock and Play Sleeper<\/a><\/em><\/strong>\u00a0<\/em>This is a pretty new thing. My first baby did not have one, my second one did. First baby did not sleep; second one did. You do the math.<\/p>\n

\u2013<\/em><\/strong>Onesies and Feety<\/em><\/strong> PJ\u2019s<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0<\/em>In Newborn and 3 month size. Don\u2019t buy too much of anything in newborn. It will fit for about 5 minutes. But footed pj\u2019s are the sweetest thing ever. You will save these and wonder how your kid was ever so tiny\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2013<\/em><\/strong>A Travel System<\/em><\/strong>Stroller and infant seat combo. Have a friend assemble and install for you before the baby is born, because they do not make this stuff for regular people. I mean, I consider my husband and i to be above average in every way, and we were the morons standing in the parking lot with a newborn, and a seat that was still in the box. Surely we just stick her in this and buckle it, right?<\/em>\u00a0Avoid this moment.<\/p>\n

\u2013<\/em><\/span>Bottles and Formula<\/em>\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong>if you are adopting or unable to breastfeed, or just plan to supplement.<\/p>\n

\u2013A Book of Baby<\/em> Names<\/em><\/strong> Just because there is very little about all this that is within your control. You CAN, however, choose a name for your child that is yours and yours alone\u2013which is why we didn\u2019t share our names with anyone before the kids were born. BTW, you do not need the book of 100,000 baby names<\/strong>.\u00a0\u00a0If it is\u00a0too strange to\u00a0be in the book of, say,\u00a020,000 names, then well\u2026 it is just too strange. For fun reading, I really liked \u201cA is for Atticus\u201d<\/a>\u00a0It is basically the baby name book for English\u00a0majors.<\/p>\n

-A Boppy<\/strong> <\/em>Even if you are not breastfeeding. Your arms will get tired in feeding.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s pretty much it. I\u2019m serious! That is all you need. Here is some stuff you can register for and hope other people will buy for you; if not, you can get a coupon for remaining registry items after the baby is born. Although, Target managed to screw me out of mine, several times. A little hint; i don\u2019t want to say lie<\/em> but\u2026 perhaps fudge a little on your due date. You get the supposed coupon 2-3 weeks after your due date so\u2026<\/p>\n

OK, Stuff to Register For: <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013cutesie matching nursery stuff<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>IF you want. But i promise, you don\u2019t need it.<\/p>\n

-A Breast Pump <\/em><\/strong>if you are nursing and if you ever want to sleep again. And\/or leave the house without your kid.<\/p>\n

\u2013a jumparoo or exersaucer kind of thing<\/em><\/strong>. But you do not need both!<\/p>\n

\u2013crib<\/em><\/strong> and sheets.<\/p>\n

\u2013A high chair\u00a0<\/em> <\/strong>Or not. They make great boosters and strap-to-the-table seats now that don\u2019t take up nearly as much space.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u00a0changing table<\/em>\u00a0 <\/strong>Or not. If you have a big person bed in the baby\u2019s room, or a crib with a collapsable rail, the table is just taking up space.<\/p>\n

-a diaper champ or diaper genie<\/strong> <\/em>Or not. Know what else works? Small plastic grocery bags. Take out once or twice a day.<\/p>\n

-if you want to make baby food, invest in a good food processor,<\/em><\/strong>because a blender is a pain. However, you do not need a fancy babyfood maker. You will be making baby food for approximately 10 weeks of your kids\u2019 life. A fancy processor can continue to make fancy grown-up food<\/em>, long after a baby food gismo starts gathering dust in the pantry\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2013A baby bath tub<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0<\/em> Or not.\u00a0 A big sink works just fine.<\/p>\n

\u2013A Pac-n-play<\/em><\/strong>Or not. Anytime you travel, you can probably borrow one.<\/p>\n

\u2013A white noise machine.<\/em><\/strong>On second thought, might add this to the list of \u201cBUY NOW\u201d stuff. Game changer in our house.<\/p>\n

-A Bumbo!\u00a0 <\/strong><\/em>My kids were both soooooo much happier once they could sit up and do stuff\/look at things. The bumbo makes it happen sooner.<\/p>\n

-A baby bjorn<\/em><\/strong>Don\u2019t go cheap on the carrier. As someone with neck\/jaw problems, i needed one that supported my whole\u00a0back. The one-shoulder kind can be bad news. Also, the bjorn is a little more man-friendly than those cute little pea\/pod things. If you want the baby-daddy to carry the baby\u2013or its stuff\u2013go gender neutral on the slings, the diaper bags, etc. Although, i do love to see a big buff manly man carrying a pink flowery purse.<\/p>\n

Which brings me to some general rules about stuff<\/strong><\/em><\/span>:<\/p>\n

-Go Gender-Neutral<\/em><\/strong>whenever possible. If you have a second baby\u2013or your friend or your sister has a kid\u2013you will really be kicking yourself if you bought pink frilly everything and new kid is a boy. You will have to go through ALLLLLL this again.<\/p>\n

\u2013Repeat after me: YES, i would very much appreciate your hand-me-downs!!<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>Just, trust me.<\/p>\n

\u2013Consign, consign, consign<\/em><\/strong>Let some other sucker pay $45 for the new outfit from Gymboree. Their kid will wear it twice (if that) and you can buy it at a consignment sale for $3. Your kid is well-dressed, and you are smarter.<\/p>\n

-The \u201cOne at a Time\u201d Rule\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>You know those big-ass plastic things that fill your friends\u2019 living room\/garage\/back yard\/bed room\/car? Your kid only needs one of those at a time<\/em>. For instance, a newborn might enjoy a little play yard\/mat for tummy time, but is nowhere near ready for a jump-a-roo. Your 4 month old who loves the jumpy thing no longer needs the play mat. Nor does he yet need the big honkin\u2019 play house\/ kitchen\/tool bench\/tricycle. ONE AT A TIME keeps your space free of clutter, and saves your kid from sensory overload. And here again, you can consign everything.<\/em> So you buy one big toy and trade up every 6 months or so. You will practically break even. Let some other sucker buy it new.<\/p>\n

And finally, here is some stuff to Never Buy:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

-Cute outfits for newborns.<\/em><\/strong>I mean it. I know they are adorable, but your kid will be swaddled, naked, and\/or covered in barf for the first 3 months. Those things will look great hanging in the closet, but that\u2019s about it\u2026<\/p>\n

-A matching \u2018mommy and me\u2019 outfit.<\/strong> <\/em>Just, please don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

-A picture frame.<\/em><\/strong>You will get these as gifts, whether or not you have church ladies in your life.<\/p>\n

-Hats, booties, toys or blankets.<\/em><\/strong>Again, the gift train will come\u2013if you are blessed and lucky, mostly driven by church ladies\u2013and your home and life will be filled with these and other good things. Never spend your money here.<\/p>\n

There will come a day when your precious baby is about 2 weeks old. Maybe you\u2019ve just had a nap or a solid 3 or 4 hours of sleep, and you will come out the haze for a second and look around your house\u2026and you will say, \u201cWho knew babies came with all this STUFF???\u201d Well, they don\u2019t. Not really.<\/p>\n

No, we<\/strong><\/em> are the ones that come with stuff. We have baggage about what it means to be a good parent, what it means to have a comfortable home, what it means to be successful\u2026 Yes, many of these\u00a0new things will make your life with baby easier. But NONE of them will make it easy.<\/p>\n

Because nothing good comes easy. And if you\u2019ve got a kid, you know that\u2026whether you gave birth to them, adopted them, or contributed the genetic material neccessary for the making of them; whether they are 2 weeks or 2 months or 24 years old; not a minute of it is easy, but it can be so much simpler. Much of the stress of parenting comes from no place but our own\u00a0little selves; the sooner we learn that on the journey, the happier we will all be\u2026and the better able to pay for tuition.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently cleared my house of ALOT of baby and kid stuff; not just outgrown clothes, but bouncers, extra strollers,\u00a0baby seats and\u2026 on and on. Which caused me to reflect on how much of the stuff had actually been useful, and how much had just been in the way. Don\u2019t be fooled\u2013babies are a business.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1154,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[118,6],"tags":[647,648,649,650,264,651,553,44],"class_list":["post-1021","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lent-and-easter","category-marriage-and-family","tag-baby-gifts","tag-baby-shower","tag-financial-planning","tag-new-baby","tag-organization","tag-saving-money","tag-shopping","tag-simplicity"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Business of Babies: A shopping list, a Lent reflection, and a bit of a memoir...<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I recently cleared my house of ALOT of baby and kid stuff; not just outgrown clothes, but bouncers, extra strollers,\u00a0baby seats and... on and on. 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