I\u2019m going to say a thing. Stop me if you\u2019ve heard it: \u201cJust because I don\u2019t accept someone\u2019s lifestyle, doesn\u2019t mean that i hate them!\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve heard it before. So have you. Most recently, as a direct quote from Rick Warren. But more broadly, coming from folks in conservative settings all over the place. \u00a0And chances are, if you\u2019ve heard some version of this line, the conversation was about gay people. Everywhere you look these days, churches, pastors and fundamental Christians are getting more and more vocal about all the ways they \u201clove the sinner\/hate the sin.\u201d<\/p>\n
Thing is\u2026when you say\u00a0\u2018hate\u2019 in such close proximity of gay people, then the sentiment becomes a presence in the room. (Kind of like saying \u201cI\u201dm not a racist, but\u2026\u201d chances are, whatever\u2019s about to come out of your mouth is pretty much racist). And furthermore:\u00a0if you\u2019re still saying \u201clifestyle,\u201d we\u2019ve still got a problem.<\/p>\n
Sexuality is an expression of the whole self. If you are part of a married, committed, hetero-couple, the Church (most any church) is willing to acknowledge this. God made us for love, for passion, to be one flesh and to share our lives together. To say that homosexuals have chosen a \u2018lifestyle,\u2019 rather than to acknowledge that they are whole and dignified people, deserving of love and relationship\u2026there is the divisive edge that will forever keep \u2018gay-ok\u2019 people and \u2018traditional family\u2019 folks from sitting down and having a real conversation.<\/p>\n
Sure, there is a certain promiscuous \u2018lifestyle\u2019 that can damage our bodies, our souls, our communities, and seperate\u00a0people from God in ways that the Church would call \u2018sinful.\u2019 But this kind of \u2018lifestyle\u2019 is by no means reserved for LGBT folks. Straight people can sleep around; cheat on their partners; do drugs; stay out all night and flake on their responsibilities; and\/or spend\u00a0all their money on frivilous, selfish things when their neighbors are going hungry.<\/p>\n
The word \u2018lifestyle\u2019 speaks to many elements of one\u2019s life. Not just who you love, but where you spend your time and money;\u00a0what you talk about over dinner; what gets your blood pressure up, and what speaks beauty to your soul. Music, diet, geography, recreation,\u00a0spending habits, technology, wardrobe, living space\u2026This is a lifestyle. And each of us\u00a0can choose a combination of things that give\u00a0us life, or enter into a pattern that slowly drains\u00a0us of all goodness and hope. We choose our paths every day.<\/p>\n
Whether you love boys or girls has nothing to do with a \u2018style\u2019 of living. You are thinking of the home and garden section of Southern Living<\/em>.<\/p>\n To say that you don\u2019t approve of the gay \u2018lifestyle\u2019 is also to say that you still don\u2019t buy the science or the sociology: that same-sex attraction is nature, not nurture; and that trying to suppress or change a person\u2019s sexuality\u2013whether by prayer or\u00a0\u2018therapy\u2019\u2013leads to depression and suicide. These are truths that\u2013thanks\u00a0to God-given evolutions in the medical and psychological fields\u2013have been revealed to us in recent decades. To keep on saying \u2018lifestyle\u2019 in spite of such evidence,\u00a0is to keep reducing whole people to a single quality of themselves. Like skin-color, income, or gender\u2026 Of course, churches still do that, too\u2026<\/p>\n To my ears, saying that we don\u2019t accept this part of a person\u2019s being, is to say that God somehow dropped the ball while this person was being knit together in the womb, and left something broken and unfinished.\u00a0 Like gay people are somehow a defective batch of Cabbage Patch kids, coming off the line with some part or piece missing. No signature on the butt\u2026we\u2019ll put this whole line out at 40%-off!<\/em><\/p>\n Anyway, I kid\u2026 But I really feel that many churches set out\u2013maybe with\u00a0good intentions\u2013to love gay folks as broken, imperfect products, and not as the whole and God-shaped people that they are. The language of lifestyle will always create an \u2018us\/them\u2019 gap that prevents real connection and real ministry.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, \u201cJust because I don\u2019t accept a person\u2019s\u201d anything, sort of implies that the person asked for your critique and approval. In most cases, nobody did. Not the LGBT seeker, not\u00a0the Muslim neighbor, not the single mom or the snarky teenager. And, most especially, not Jesus. As yourself. Amen.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Music, diet, geography, recreation, spending habits, technology, wardrobe, living space\u2026This is a lifestyle. And each of us can choose a combination of things that give us life, or enter into a pattern that slowly drains us of all goodness and hope. We choose our paths every day.
\nJesus never once said \u201caccept your neighbor,\u201d or \u201cApprove of your brother.\u201d Jesus said to love them. And not just in a vague, \u201cyou are a child of God\u201d kind of way, but as yourself. <\/em><\/p>\n
\n Whether you love boys or girls has nothing to do with a \u2018style\u2019 of living. You are thinking of the home and garden section of Southern Living.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1154,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65,5],"tags":[646,9,713,714,10],"class_list":["post-1443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-being-a-person","category-faith-and-community","tag-lgbt-rights","tag-progressive-christianity","tag-rick-warren","tag-southern-living","tag-spirituality"],"yoast_head":"\n