![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/333\/2011\/08\/mess.jpg\" "\\"mess\\"")
<\/a>Listen to me, young folks in your 20\u2019s, figuring out what you\u2019re going to be\u2013I want to tell you something. You can, in fact, have it all. You can have a meaningful, fulfilling career, AND a healthy, happy family. Those who say you cannot are haters, so don\u2019t listen to them. You can do both and live. It is possible.<\/p>\nWhat you will probably not have\u2013nay, what you will never have, in that particular life combination\u2013is a clean house. Just live with it. You will be happier, and so will your someday family and co-workers.<\/p>\n
Some people choose to work and not have children. That is fine. Some people have children and choose to be with them as a full time job. I think that is awesome too. Either choice is valid and can lead one to a full, healthy, happy life. That said, the people who say you CANNOT have both\u2013they are the people who can\u2019t live with the messy house. So what they really mean is, \u201cI<\/strong>, me, personally, cannot have a both a career and a family because i can\u2019t live with the chaos that would ensue in my kitchen, laundry room, car, office\u2026etc.\u201d<\/p>\nIt is just as well that they know this about themselves because, really, I am writing this as someone who does have it all, and i\u2019m telling the story in the midst of clutter. Not filth. Don\u2019t get me wrong, we are people who do wash dishes, clean toilets and run the vaccum from time to time. But toddlers are little pack rats\u2026 they make piles of random things in some kind of order that\u00a0 makes sense to them and is crucial to development, blah blah blah\u2026whatever, it just means a big pile of mess in every room of the house. Oh, and they pack in rocks from outside to play with. They change clothes 4 times a day. They teach their baby brothers to pull everything out of the kitchen cabinets, and then said baby brothers start to do\u00a0so, even\u00a0without instruction. Little dogs shed lots of hair. And 2-or-3 days worth of meals for 4 people =quite alot of dirty dishes. [I almost laughed out loud when our landlord chose us as tenants because she thought we looked like we would be \u201cclean.\u201d !!!]<\/p>\n
If that sounds like your life, or your house, you know what i mean. You know what it is like to have the cup of blessing runneth-ing over, and how futile the efforts to keep a lid on it.<\/p>\n
If you are 20-somethings [especially if you are certain 20-somethings i know who think that you could not live with the spill-over that comes from having kids] then know that a messy house is the sign of a full and happy life. It also reflects a certain maturity of the soul that means you can find your sense of order within, whatever your surroundings. [yeah, i\u2019m still working on finding that \u201corder within.\u201d i\u2019ll let you know when i tap into it.]<\/p>\n
We are not gross people. we do the laundry\u2013and then we live out of laundry baskets all week, until we\u2019ve lost track of what\u2019s clean and dirty. We cook dinner\u2013OR, we eat sandwiches and do the dishes from LAST night\u2019s nice, home-cooked meal. That is to say, it is\u00a0a rare night in which we have both clean dishes and a good dinner.<\/p>\n
But, that is just the rhythm of this life, and we picked it. Having kids means relinquishing control, at least in part, of one\u2019s time and space, and it is an art to be learned. If we spend our evenings playing or reading books or having a family dance party instead of putting away laundry, we count that a good day.<\/p>\n
So yes, folks, you can\u00a0have it all. Almost all. If for a few short years of your life, you can relinquish the Pottery Barn catalogue ideal of a well-ordered and decorated life (PB catalogue=what is wrong with america, btw\u2026saving that for another post) then you can happily, joyfully, take in the chaos and have it all. Just, quit saying \u201chaving it all,\u201d because that phrase carries with it a certain sense of western entitlement that i just can\u2019t quite stomach. It also implies the pottery barn floor plan for an ordered life, and that icks me out too.<\/p>\n
Instead,\u00a0let\u2019s call this tenuous, beautiful balance \u201chaving all that I need,\u201d and then\u00a0let it be so.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Listen to me, young folks in your 20\u2019s, figuring out what you\u2019re going to be\u2013I want to tell you something. You can, in fact, have it all. You can have a meaningful, fulfilling career, AND a healthy, happy family. Those who say you cannot are haters, so don\u2019t listen to them. You can do both […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1154,"featured_media":2290,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,1],"tags":[23,470,115,11,59,12,24,471,25,425,26,34,79,35,27,140,60,89,472,68,40,36,161,105,20,30,31,264,117,133,14,473,9,32,429,44,10,45,474,107,85,1196],"class_list":["post-442","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marriage-and-family","category-uncategorized","tag-arizona","tag-babies","tag-children","tag-christianity","tag-church","tag-community","tag-connect","tag-decorating","tag-desert","tag-development","tag-disciples-of-christ","tag-discipleship","tag-discipline","tag-evangelism","tag-faith","tag-family","tag-gifts","tag-grace","tag-growth","tag-hope","tag-hospitality","tag-joy","tag-kids","tag-ministry","tag-nature","tag-neighbor","tag-neighborhood","tag-organization","tag-parenting","tag-peace","tag-phoenix","tag-pottery-barn","tag-progressive-christianity","tag-relationships","tag-siblings","tag-simplicity","tag-spirituality","tag-stewardship","tag-toddlers","tag-vocation","tag-work","tag-writing"],"yoast_head":"\n
Bless This Mess (without the stress)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Listen to me, young folks in your 20's, figuring out what you're going to be--I want to tell you something. You can, in fact, have it all. You can have a\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/irreverin\/2011\/08\/runneth-ing-over\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bless This Mess (without the stress)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen to me, young folks in your 20's, figuring out what you're going to be--I want to tell you something. You can, in fact, have it all. 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