{"id":9974,"date":"2020-02-14T11:43:31","date_gmt":"2020-02-14T18:43:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/irreverin\/?p=9974"},"modified":"2020-02-14T11:46:10","modified_gmt":"2020-02-14T18:46:10","slug":"every-kind-of-love-song","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/irreverin\/2020\/02\/every-kind-of-love-song\/","title":{"rendered":"Every Kind of Love Song"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Well I asked for it.<\/p>\n

I asked my Facebook on this Valentine\u2019s Day morning for \u201cthe greatest love song of all time\u201d and folks showed up for it. There\u2019s something about a music convo that brings people out like nothing else. The responses I got were as varied as you might expect\u2026 which tells me, for one thing, there\u2019s no accounting for taste. Some folks listed songs that are also on my all-time faves list, while others made me cringe and bite back a \u201cthat\u2019s not even music!\u201d But to each their own.<\/p>\n

Because the bigger message is not about music itself, but about love in general. It\u2019s a truth I\u2019ve long believed, and one that we would all do well to remember on this day that can be so fraught with expectations. So take this and hold it close:\u00a0There are all kinds of love.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

And all love is good.<\/p>\n

The range of responses I got today shows not just the diversity of musical tastes we harbor\u2013 it is about the experience of love itself. Its many forms and expressions; its many pains and joys; its many seasons and stories. Love is, above all else, effing complicated\u2026 so if there is not a pink glittery Hallmark card on the shelf that captures yours today, know that 1) you are not alone; 2) you are deeply loved anyway; 3) there\u2019s probably a song for that.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve got your songs of parent-child love: from\u00a0Isn\u2019t She Lovely,\u00a0<\/em>by Stevie Wonder, to\u00a0Always Be My Baby,\u00a0<\/em>ala Mariah Carey. You\u2019ve got your sibling love\u2013 Murder in the City\u00a0<\/em>(thanks for the ugly cry, Avett Bros) and your BFF love\u2013 which is probably unique to your particular tribe, but for general purposes there\u2019s James Taylor standard\u00a0You\u2019ve Got a Friend,\u00a0<\/em>or the Beatles\u00a0I Get By With a Little Help From\u2026\u00a0<\/em>well, you know.<\/p>\n

Then you\u2019ve got your love song dance-jams, if you\u2019re still\u00a0Crazy\u00a0<\/em>for Beyonce; and your old married people \u201cI love you so much I go to a dark place when I think about one of us dying someday\u201d songs, like Jason Isbell\u2019s\u00a0If We Were Vampires.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

There are the old standbys-\u00a0At Last,\u00a0<\/em>by Etta James, and George Straight\u2019s\u00a0Cross My Heart.\u00a0<\/em>(I\u2019m not sorry. It\u2019s classic. Don\u2019t @me).<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve got your country and your angsty alt-rock. Your jazz standards and your big hair ballads. I am always transported to middle school when Damn Yankees\u00a0High Enough,<\/em>\u00a0or Mr. Big\u2019s\u00a0To Be With You<\/em>\u00a0<\/em>creeps across the radio waves.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve got your grandma\u2019s love song and your tween daughter\u2019s love song. Thanks to Brandi Carlile and The Highwomen, we now even have a Country. Lesbian. Love Song\u2026\u00a0<\/em>which I\u2019m pretty sure is a whole new thing, in the form of\u00a0If She Ever Leaves Me.\u00a0<\/em>What a time to be alive when there are country lesbian love songs in the world.<\/p>\n

And then you\u2019ve got\u2026 well, the rest of them. The complicated story; the broken promise; the missed connection; the one that got away; the love that is still alive but maybe not what it once was; the sad, tortured love song that Hallmark will never, ever make the right card for\u2026 but that most of the best songs are actually about.<\/p>\n

What does that tell you?<\/p>\n

The recent podcast\u00a0Dolly Parton\u2019s America<\/em>\u00a0took a deep dive into the artist\u2019s status as American icon\u2013 but it was also kind of about America itself; and beyond even that, it was about the role of music in human experience and connection. And the first episode is actually titled, of all things \u201cSad Ass Songs.<\/a>\u201d Dolly talks about the darker times in her own songwriting life, and in some of our musical history (especially if you claim Appalachian roots).<\/p>\n

Dolly herself can probably claim the greatest sad love song of all time with\u00a0I Will Always Love You.\u00a0<\/em>But our collective canon is full of this type of longing, lyrical masterpiece\u2013 from Patsy Cline\u2019s\u00a0Crazy\u00a0<\/em>to Zeppelin\u2019s\u00a0What Is And What Should Never Be.\u00a0<\/em>From a whole lotta Joni Mitchell (who is always \u201cso bitter and so sweet\u201d) to even more Johnny Cash\u2013 who spent his life so in love with his wife that he literally just stopped living when she died.<\/p>\n

Speaking of that vampire song\u2026 \u201cwe\u2019d go out on the sidewalk in smoke.\u201d Isn\u2019t that the dream?<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s not all roses. Love is complicated, and even that which stands the test of time has been\u2026 well, tested. Like anything worth having, it comes with growing pains, messes and meltdowns. It comes with days that are harder than others. It rolls in seasons. It changes form. Just remember today, no matter what kind of love is (or is not) in your life, that everybody\u2019s got their stuff. And, today especially, everybody\u2019s trying to sell you something. Don\u2019t buy the narrative that your love has to look like your neighbor\u2019s, or your sister\u2019s, or FFS, what you see on tv. All of that is a lie. Don\u2019t get caught up in the romantic claptrap that says all of life should be a rom-com or a Disney movie.<\/p>\n

Real life, and real love, are far more mysterious than that. And you know what? The soundtrack\u2019s better too.<\/p>\n

There are many kinds of love songs because there are many kinds of love. Whatever love there is in your life today\u2013celebrate it and hold it close. Whatever sadness or heaviness may come with this day\u2013 know that there\u2019s probably a song for that, because someone else has been where you\u2019ve been. Your story is your own, but you are never alone.<\/p>\n

Dang, that rhymes even. Maybe I should write a song? But nah. I\u2019m sure whatever I\u2019m driving at has been said (and sung) better by a long line of artists before me. And will be said, and sung again down the road. Because this is our human story, this dance of love and loss and love again. The tune changes, but its truth stays the same: every kind of love is good. Even in loss, it makes us who we are, and transforms something in us that\u2019s in need of growth or healing.<\/p>\n

All love is good love. Sing on.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well I asked for it. I asked my Facebook on this Valentine\u2019s Day morning for \u201cthe greatest love song of all time\u201d and folks showed up for it. There\u2019s something about a music convo that brings people out like nothing else. The responses I got were as varied as you might expect\u2026 which tells me, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1154,"featured_media":9977,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65,6],"tags":[628,2223,9,10,629],"class_list":["post-9974","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-being-a-person","category-marriage-and-family","tag-love","tag-love-songs","tag-progressive-christianity","tag-spirituality","tag-valentines-day"],"yoast_head":"\nEvery Kind of Love Song<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Real love is messy. It's complicated. It's mysterious. 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