{"id":140,"date":"2014-12-28T21:46:00","date_gmt":"2014-12-28T21:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/2014\/12\/parking-a-link-the-bucket-list.html"},"modified":"2014-12-28T21:46:00","modified_gmt":"2014-12-28T21:46:00","slug":"parking-a-link-the-bucket-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/2014\/12\/parking-a-link-the-bucket-list.html","title":{"rendered":"Parking a link: the bucket list"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
Remember when Zeke Emanuel said<\/a> he didn\u2019t want to live past age 75? \u00a0It was in The Atlantic back in October, and, while he didn\u2019t advocate suicide at that age, he said that simply doesn\u2019t want<\/i>\u00a0to live past that age and certainly doesn\u2019t want any lifesaving medical treatments past that age. <\/div>\n

Some key quotes: <\/p>\n

Writing about his father, he says, after a heart attack a decade ago at age 77,<\/p>\n

Once the prototype of a hyperactive Emanuel, suddenly his walking, his talking, his humor got slower. Today he can swim, read the newspaper, needle his kids on the phone, and still live with my mother in their own house. But everything seems sluggish. Although he didn\u2019t die from the heart attack, no one would say he is living a vibrant life. When he discussed it with me, my father said, \u201cI have slowed down tremendously. That is a fact. I no longer make rounds at the hospital or teach.\u201d Despite this, he also said he was happy.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

. . .<\/p>\n

\u00a0But the fact is that by 75, creativity, originality, and productivity are pretty much gone for the vast, vast majority of us.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

[With respect to family,] \u00a0living as long as possible has drawbacks we often won\u2019t admit to ourselves. I will leave aside the very real and oppressive financial and caregiving burdens that many, if not most, adults in the so-called sandwich generation are now experiencing, caught between the care of children and parents. Our living too long places real emotional weights on our progeny. . .\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u00a0How do we want to be remembered by our children and grandchildren? We wish our children to remember us in our prime. Active, vigorous, engaged, animated, astute, enthusiastic, funny, warm, loving. Not stooped and sluggish, forgetful and repetitive, constantly asking \u201cWhat did she say?\u201d We want to be remembered as independent, not experienced as burdens.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

As you can imagine, I disagree with his approach that, essentially, death is preferable to frailty, and that a life that lacks productivity is unworthy of being lived. \u00a0And he got plenty of push-back.<\/p>\n

But this weekend, in the Sunday \u201cmagazine\u201d section of the Tribune (which is a pale imitation of what it was in the past), there was a reprint of an article originally in the Washington Post<\/a> over a month ago, \u201cKicking the Bucket List.\u201d<\/p>\n

Getting old is supposed to be fun now. And bucket lists mark just how much fun we\u2019re having. If you\u2019re lucky enough to be able to retire \u2014 a big if, given how many people simply can\u2019t afford to stop working \u2014 you\u2019re expected to then learn a new language, travel to a wildlife preserve in Kenya, take up Bikram yoga or sharpen your culinary skills.\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

. . .\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

We seem to think of ourselves as sharks as we get older, afraid that if we stop moving, we\u2019ll die. Or at least get really boring. Reading, gardening, cooking and spending time with friends don\u2019t seem to be demanding enough pursuits to build a golden age around. Every book and article about retirement tells us to find our second career, to learn some new \u2014 and really difficult \u2014 skill, to find our purpose all over again.\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

. . .\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

But I don\u2019t think degree of difficulty is a key metric of living a fulfilled life. George Vaillant, a psychiatrist who directed the Harvard Grant Study, a project that followed 268 Harvard grads for 75 years, has a different idea. He says that the key to living a happy, purposeful life comes down to one thing: relationships. \u201cThe conclusion of the study, not in a medical but in a psychological sense, is that connection is the whole shooting match,\u201d Vaillant said in a Huffington Post interview last year.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Great little piece, and fits in well with a book I\u2019m reading now, on \u201cunretirement\u201d \u2013 that is, the idea of continuing to work well after traditional retirement age \u2014 which I\u2019ll report on after I finish it.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Remember when Zeke Emanuel said he didn\u2019t want to live past age 75? \u00a0It was in The Atlantic back in October, and, while he didn\u2019t advocate suicide at that age, he said that simply doesn\u2019t want\u00a0to live past that age and certainly doesn\u2019t want any lifesaving medical treatments past that age. Some key quotes: Writing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2209,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nParking a link: the bucket list<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Remember when Zeke Emanuel said he didn't want to live past age 75?  It was in The Atlantic back in October, and, while he didn't advocate suicide at\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/2014\/12\/parking-a-link-the-bucket-list.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Parking a link: the bucket list\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Remember when Zeke Emanuel said he didn't want to live past age 75? 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