It\u2019s a listsicle, as I\u2019ve learned this is called!<\/p>\n
But we\u2019ll be visiting my parents next week, and trying to figure out how to help them. \u00a0Dad spends the majority of his time playing computer solitaire or watching TV (often in bed), and Mom is quite unhappy that he won\u2019t get dressed until it\u2019s almost too late to go to the community center senior lunch, and he doesn\u2019t do the exercises he\u2019s supposed to do, or even make other efforts at some kind of activity, but just sits all day \u2014 but at the same time, we\u2019re not really sure what more, if anything, Dad is capable of doing, really, in terms of where he is now in his mental and physical abilities.<\/p>\n
But we made the pitch to move, to a condo or a retirement community near us, once, before the accident a year ago, and got nowhere, and even since then, when moving makes even more sense: \u00a0it\u2019s like talking to a rock.<\/p>\n
Nonetheless:<\/p>\n
1) Family. \u00a0If they moved near us, they could spend a lot more time with their grandchildren \u2014 both our kids and my brother\u2019s family, as they also recently moved comparatively near us (just outside Milwaukee, vs. northwest suburb of Chicago). \u00a0That\u2019s a plus, right?, especially since they don\u2019t have an active social life where they are now, just acquaintances, really, so, except for the senior lunch, it\u2019s just the two of them, day in and day out.<\/p>\n
2) Stairs. \u00a0Mom and Dad think it\u2019s a nonissue, that Dad\u2019ll be able to safely go up and down stairs until the day he dies, but \u2014 really? \u00a0It\u2019s a huge worry for us.<\/p>\n
3) Help. \u00a0Yes, my sister lives an hour away, but her ability to help is minimal. \u00a0If Mom were to get injured, they\u2019d be up a creek without a paddle, to put it nicely. \u00a0Even if there\u2019s not a concrete need, we could be \u201cgrandpa-sitters\u201d as my mom is reluctant to leave the house without Dad too much, for fear he\u2019ll cook something and leave the burner on.<\/p>\n
4) House upkeep. \u00a0Yes, they can hire a yard service for the summer and a plow service for the winter, and in principle they could get a cleaning service, though they haven\u2019t. \u00a0But they can\u2019t really keep their large house properly maintained, or even clean and orderly.<\/p>\n
5) Transportation. \u00a0In their suburb, the only way to get around, other than a car, is the dial-a-ride bus. \u00a0Moving to a retirement community would mean that there\u2019d be activities available without going outside, just crossing the skywalk. \u00a0Or there are condos which are on the bus line, across the street from the grocery store, or next to the library, which might mean (should Dad get some motivation\/energy back) that Dad could go somewhere, anyway, without being driven by my Mom. \u00a0Heck, there\u2019s even a condo on the market now, with a Subway on the ground floor.<\/p>\n
6) Transition. \u00a0Mom likes to cite people she knows who moved away from The Family Home and then died (and in her mind, no matter how far removed in time the move was from the death, it was always the cause), but I\u2019ve read that you\u2019re better off moving before you need to, than hanging on until it becomes impossible to stay. \u00a0You can transition to a new home and a new neighborhood, meet the neighbors, be active and get involved, and just get accustomed to the new place, rather than being in an unfamiliar place and also being trapped their due to infirmity. \u00a0Heck, my in-laws moved into a condo a good five years ago now, and they\u2019re quite happy there, and were lucky they did so then, so that my father-in-law\u2019s recovery from a long hospital stay, when going up stairs was suddenly and unexpectedly simply not possible any longer, wasn\u2019t devastating.<\/p>\n
Anyway, now that I\u2019ve written this out (\u201coff the clock,\u201d so to speak) and feel a little better, it\u2019s time to get back to work!<\/p>\n
(This was my rant, as I was stewing over my parents\u2019 situation this morning. \u00a0Neither of them is happy with their current situation. \u00a0Neither of them is willing to change \u2014 but, unfortunately, there\u2019s an extent to which neither is even able to change, Dad as an effect of his injury, and Mom because, well, that\u2019s just how she is.)<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s a listsicle, as I\u2019ve learned this is called! But we\u2019ll be visiting my parents next week, and trying to figure out how to help them. \u00a0Dad spends the majority of his time playing computer solitaire or watching TV (often in bed), and Mom is quite unhappy that he won\u2019t get dressed until it\u2019s almost […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2209,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[58],"class_list":["post-1563","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-family"],"yoast_head":"\n