{"id":1791,"date":"2015-04-19T15:08:44","date_gmt":"2015-04-19T21:08:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/?p=1791"},"modified":"2015-04-19T15:28:02","modified_gmt":"2015-04-19T21:28:02","slug":"why-tight-leash-parenting-suburbanization","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/2015\/04\/why-tight-leash-parenting-suburbanization.html","title":{"rendered":"Why tight-leash parenting?  Suburbanization."},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>Here\u2019s my ah-ha moment from this weekend:<\/p>\n<p>Earlier this week, Megan McArdle had a post on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bloombergview.com\/articles\/2015-04-13\/seven-reasons-we-hate-free-range-parenting\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">free range parenting<\/a>. \u00a0Then on Friday, she wrote about <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bloombergview.com\/articles\/2015-04-17\/new-starter-homes-hit-a-dead-stop\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">the declining number of new-construction starter homes<\/a>, leading to some interesting discussions in the comments on changing expectations. \u00a0And this is what I\u2019m thinking, mashing those two pieces together:<\/p>\n<p>The growth of suburbanization made tight-leash parenting possible. \u00a0(Can I coin a term and say that the opposite of free-range parenting is \u201ctight-leash parenting\u201d? \u00a0Because I don\u2019t recall having seen an antonym to FRP in common use.*) \u00a0Yes, we can point to causes such as fears of abduction, but those fears wouldn\u2019t have had the effect that they did if the right conditions weren\u2019t in place \u2014 note that 1970 was a milestone year; just as in 1920 more people lived in cities than on farms, in 1970, more people lived in suburbs than cities. \u00a0Having a backyard for kids to play in, with a swingset of your own, became part of an American childhood. \u00a0And principles of (sub)urban planning dictated concepts such as arterial roads, collector streets, and isolated subdivisions designed so that the only way in and out is through a major arterial road. \u00a0At the same time, those same planners demanded that homes, shopping centers, churches, any type of place, really, be built with a required number of parking spots to eliminate the need to park in the street \u00a0\u2014 heck, in my town, and I presume we\u2019re not alone, parking in the street, even in a quiet neighborhood, isn\u2019t even permitted on an overnight basis, except for occasional special permission for visitors.<\/p>\n<p>(Is the antonym \u201chelicopter parenting\u201d? \u00a0I think these refer to two different aspects of parenting; helicoptering is more about the metaphorical hovering to make sure the kid succeeds in school, activities, etc., and FRP\/tight-leash parenting over the degree to which kids literally have freedom to roam.)<\/p>\n<p>What does this mean?<\/p>\n<p>It means that parents are able to restrict their kids from going to the park alone, because they have the alternative of playing in the backyard. \u00a0It means that parents can make the decision that their Special Snowflakes are able to walk to school by themselves, or to their other activities or their friends\u2019 houses, only at a much older age than in the past, because it\u2019s no great inconvenience to drive them, and many of their destinations wouldn\u2019t be accessible by foot anyway.<\/p>\n<p>In contrast, the much denser world of city life in, say, Germany, means that tight-leash parenting would be a far bigger hassle than here. \u00a0You can\u2019t send your kid out to the backyard to play, in most cases; they\u2019d have to go to the courtyard, or to a nearby playground, and, while German parents are just as likely to go along with their preschool kids (though there\u2019s a distinct difference in their willingness to sit and socialize with the other moms vs. the American mom\u2019s determination to actively play with the kid), I believe they\u2019re willing to send kids off by themselves at a much younger age, because, hey, the option of \u201cjust play in the backyard while I do X\u201d isn\u2019t available.<\/p>\n<p>Besides which, for a German parent to pull the leash in a bit and say, \u201cyou know, I think you\u2019re too young to travel here or there by yourself after all\u201d would also be a bigger inconvenience, because the limitation would be not just chauffeuring somewhat more often than you\u2019re already used to, but a far greater change in how the family lives, especially as middle-schoolers are accustomed to riding public transportation by themselves, or travelling by bike. \u00a0Not to mention that many families there are still one-car families (as were we, during are stay there), as was also more common in the U.S. even in the 50s and 60s.<\/p>\n<p>(* Yes, \u00a0I know, in New York and certain other big cities, life is lived in a much more European style, with apartments and carlessness and mass transit. \u00a0Does that mean that kids there are much free range-ier? \u00a0I don\u2019t know. \u00a0I imagine that\u2019s true for poor kids, but likely more often in a latchkey-kid sort of way. \u00a0Whether middle class kids have the same tight leash as suburban kids, because TLP has become a middle-class norm even beyond the suburbs, I don\u2019t know.)<\/p>\n<p>Whenever you have some potential new risk introduced to you, how you react depends in large measure on how difficult or easy it would be to change your life in response to that risk. \u00a0Wear a bike helmet? Sure. \u00a0Install a carbon monoxide detector? \u00a0Of course. \u00a0Build an underground bunker to protect against mass chaos in the event of an EMP attack? \u00a0No thanks, too much work, I\u2019ll take my chances.<\/p>\n<p>And \u2014 without discounting all the other factors, such as the rise in scheduling kids\u2019 time, working moms = no eyeballs on the streets or kids to free-range in groups, etc. \u2014 the fact that, when the reports of abducted children came about in the 80s, it did not involve a lot of sacrifice to tighten the leash, is an important component of the \u201cwhy\u201d as well.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here\u2019s my ah-ha moment from this weekend: Earlier this week, Megan McArdle had a post on free range parenting. \u00a0Then on Friday, she wrote about the declining number of new-construction starter homes, leading to some interesting discussions in the comments on changing expectations. \u00a0And this is what I\u2019m thinking, mashing those two pieces together: The [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2209,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1791","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why tight-leash parenting? 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