{"id":2054,"date":"2015-05-26T11:31:02","date_gmt":"2015-05-26T17:31:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/?p=2054"},"modified":"2015-05-26T11:44:50","modified_gmt":"2015-05-26T17:44:50","slug":"in-other-wedding-news-the-average-cost-is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/2015\/05\/in-other-wedding-news-the-average-cost-is.html","title":{"rendered":"In other wedding news: the average cost is . . ."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Upwards of $30,000, right?<\/p>\n

Wrong.<\/p>\n

Slate (even the old blind sow. . .) had a quick piece this morning<\/a>, which linked back to an older article of theirs<\/a>, from 2013, which reports that (a) the \u201caverage cost\u201d cited in the surveys that the news outlets cite so breathlessly, in particular, the survey from theknot.com, are self-selected from site users who are disproportionately likely to plan extensively and spend lavishly, and, (b) what\u2019s more, are averages which are much higher than the corresponding medians, which theknot.com provided when prodded:<\/p>\n

\u00a0In 2012, when the average wedding cost was $27,427, the median was $18,086. In 2011, when the average was $27,021, the median was $16,886.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Why does this site, and the other major source, Brides magazine, use averages? \u00a0They claim it\u2019s because, from the perspective of wedding industry vendors, this is the relevant figure, but one suspects that it\u2019s to their own benefit to overstate spending, and create a self-fulfilling prophesy, in which brides feel obliged to spend more than they otherwise would have.<\/p>\n

Now, I\u2019d always doubted these figures, though I\u2019d assumed that they were overstated by excluding city hall weddings as \u201cnot counting\u201d as a wedding by means of some kind of selection criteria \u2014 e.g., a marriage ceremony only counts as a wedding if there\u2019s a reception.<\/p>\n

And you know this matters, don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n

That the wedding industry has done such a good job of convincing couples that an expensive say-yes-to-the-dress type dress is obligatory, and a sit-down dinner reception, and so on, that couples think that getting married is all about the wedding: \u00a0if they can\u2019t afford the bells and whistles, then they think the right thing to do is go on with your everyday life, saving the rings and the change in legal status for a later time, maybe, or eliminating it altogether because the spending is frivolous and wasteful.<\/p>\n

19 years ago tomorrow, my husband and I exchanged vows. \u00a0Our total spending on the day was about $5,000 \u2014 a simple dress, a catered but buffet-style meal for a comparatively small number of guests at the parish center, a DJ. \u00a0Knowing my family is mostly fairly light drinkers, we declined the per-person per-hour alcohol charge for a per-use rate.<\/p>\n

I suspect that many readers have similar stories to tell. \u00a0(Go ahead, tell them in the comments!)<\/p>\n

And the next time these \u201ccost of wedding\u201d stories come out \u2014 or, really, any time of year \u2014 we need to get the word out.<\/p>\n

(Oh, and the comments on that Slate piece are instructive: \u00a0people do actually consider their wedding outlay well worth the money, or shrug it off because they \u201cearned\u201d more in wedding presents.)<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Upwards of $30,000, right? Wrong. Slate (even the old blind sow. . .) had a quick piece this morning, which linked back to an older article of theirs, from 2013, which reports that (a) the \u201caverage cost\u201d cited in the surveys that the news outlets cite so breathlessly, in particular, the survey from theknot.com, are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2209,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2054","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nIn other wedding news: the average cost is . . .<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Upwards of $30,000, right? Wrong. 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