{"id":226,"date":"2014-10-28T08:33:00","date_gmt":"2014-10-28T14:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/2014\/10\/todays-ask-amy-window-into-21st-century-relationships.html"},"modified":"2015-02-26T23:11:45","modified_gmt":"2015-02-27T05:11:45","slug":"todays-ask-amy-window-into-21st-century-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/2014\/10\/todays-ask-amy-window-into-21st-century-relationships.html","title":{"rendered":"Today’s “Ask Amy” window into 21st-century relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

From today\u2019s Tribune<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Dear Amy: I\u2019m a woman in my late 20s. For several years, my friend \u201cTerence\u201d has always been there for me. He has helped when I\u2019ve gone through breakups, when my mother had cancer and when my house was vandalized and all my stuff was stolen.\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

He does little things for me, like dropping off soup when I\u2019m sick or sending me flowers. I know he has feelings for me. He and I have talked about dating but when it comes up, I am either not looking to date anyone, or I\u2019m already dating someone.\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I think I would date him some day (when the time is right).\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Recently, he said he feels like he\u2019s \u201csecond best\u201d because I only spend time with him when I don\u2019t have other plans. I\u2019m busy, and I wish he could understand that I can\u2019t spend time with everyone!\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It came to a head recently. I went for a pre-dawn bike ride and had a mechanical problem. I called him and he biked the 10 miles out on the trail to bring me a spare part and coffee.\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

We watched the sunrise together. He invited me out for breakfast but I told him the guy I\u2019m dating was still asleep at my apartment and I didn\u2019t want him to wake up without me there.\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Terence said it was the last straw. The last thing he said to me was, \u201cThe next time you\u2019re in trouble, call the guy you\u2019re sleeping with, not me. Or better yet, just don\u2019t call me again.\u201d\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

He hasn\u2019t returned my calls, texts or emails. I feel like I\u2019ve lost a really good friend. How do I repair the friendship?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yes, this isn\u2019t a big thing, but it\u2019s just another little example of human relationships gone wrong, not in the way she treats her friend so much as the fact that in 21st century America, this woman, following what is the societal norm, sleeps with a man with whom she has so little connection that she not only won\u2019t call him to ask for help but doesn\u2019t even want to let him know she\u2019s out on an early bike ride. \u00a0And her casual approach to dating, seemingly cycling through men like pairs of shoes, has cost her this relationship with someone she actually cares about, whom she \u201cmight date someday,\u201d but it wasn\u2019t his turn yet \u2014 though to be sure, she claims to care about him, but the actions that go along with these words seem to all be one-way. \u00a0(Amy\u2019s advice was to let him go so that he can find someone who treats him better.)<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From today\u2019s Tribune: Dear Amy: I\u2019m a woman in my late 20s. For several years, my friend \u201cTerence\u201d has always been there for me. He has helped when I\u2019ve gone through breakups, when my mother had cancer and when my house was vandalized and all my stuff was stolen.\u00a0 He does little things for me, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2209,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[170,53],"class_list":["post-226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-ask-amy","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nToday's "Ask Amy" window into 21st-century relationships<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"From today's Tribune:Dear Amy: I'm a woman in my late 20s. For several years, my friend "Terence" has always been there for me. 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