Boston Globe<\/a>, this is a completely different animal than the mess in Charlottesville in one respect: \u00a0the security will be massive. \u00a0No backpacks, no weapons, nothing that can be used as a weapon, such as a large pole \u2014 the sort of restrictions that would be applied to a variety of public gatherings on terrorism grounds, even if you weren\u2019t worried about attendees, well, breaking out into a brawl. \u00a0What\u2019s more, both sides, the Free Speech group and separate \u201csolidarity march,\u201d have legal permits for their activities.<\/p>\nAnd I\u2019ll be watching \u2014 hopefully from on the boat, but I\u2019ll be checking the news to at least some degree. \u00a0And for all that both sides say they\u2019re peaceful, and they have the best of intentions, I know that there is nonetheless a risk of problems arising.<\/p>\n
With that in mind \u2014<\/p>\n
Rallygoers, here\u2019s the secret. \u00a0Here\u2019s how to win the rally:<\/p>\n
The side with the most injuries wins.<\/strong><\/p>\nYou need to prove, after all, that your side is nonviolent and unfairly maligned, and the other side is always the instigator, right?<\/p>\n
Fighting back will not prove that. \u00a0That\u2019ll just produce media reports of \u201cboth sides fought each other.\u201d<\/p>\n
The only way to prove that you\u2019re the innocent and virtuous party is by not fighting back.<\/p>\n
Sure, you might end up with a bruise, or needing some stitches. \u00a0(You might want to do a quick check for the nearest in-network hospital or urgent-care facility, and be sure you have your insurance card with you, before you head out to the rally\/march.) \u00a0Possibly you\u2019ll be worse off than that, but it\u2019s for an important cause \u2014 WINNING!<\/p>\n
Be sure to hold on to your doctors\u2019 bills, and take some good pictures when you\u2019re dripping in blood from your opponents\u2019 attack, when they prove that they are a bunch of LOSERS who live in their parents\u2019 basements and don\u2019t even have the self-control to make it through the day without succumbing to their LOSER-Y impulses. \u00a0Agree on a great hashtag and tally up the number of injuries on twitter, then see who comes out ahead.<\/p>\n
YOU CAN DO IT! \u00a0Your opponents are too stupid to restrain themselves. \u00a0You, on the other hand, are Right (that is, correct) and Moral and far, far Better than they are.<\/p>\n
Some hints:<\/p>\n
Choose light-colored clothing \u2014 all the better to see the blood \u2014 and keep your faces visible, so that you can instagram your bloody nose right away. \u00a0Also, Oxyclean pre-treating spray works well in getting blood out afterwards, but there are no guarantees, so you might want to stop by the thrift store for your rally-going wardrobe.<\/p>\n
Weapons will not help your cause. \u00a0Sure, you might want them for self-defense. \u00a0BUT YOU ARE NOT DEFENDING YOURSELVES. \u00a0In fact, weapons can harm your cause because the biased media will claim that you intended to use them to do harm.<\/p>\n
Also, leave your cars at home. \u00a0There will likely be people blocking traffic, and maybe some cops closing streets and redirecting traffic. \u00a0I\u2019m given to understand that Boston has a snazzy mass transit system. \u00a0The last think you want is an accident, because the biased media will accuse you of being a car-terrorist. \u00a0But if you do happen to end up surrounded by protesters from the Other Side, letting your car get smashed and maybe even getting attacked yourself would get you massive bonus points!<\/p>\n
Bottom line: \u00a0you can do it! \u00a0Go team!<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Image: \u00a0https:\/\/pixabay.com\/en\/gold-trophy-win-winner-first-268640\/; public domain.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There\u2019s a rally coming up on Saturday the 19th, in Boston, called \u201cBoston Free Speech.\u201d \u00a0According to the Boston Globe, this is a completely different animal than the mess in Charlottesville in one respect: \u00a0the security will be massive. \u00a0No backpacks, no weapons, nothing that can be used as a weapon, such as a large […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2209,"featured_media":7179,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[344,712],"class_list":["post-7178","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-protest-violence","tag-rallies"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/p>\n