![\"https:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File%3AHOUSEWIFE_IN_THE_KITCHEN_OF_HER_MOBILE_HOME_IN_ONE_OF_THE_TRAILER_PARKS._THE_TWO_PARKS_WERE_CREATED_IN_RESPONSE_TO..._-_NARA_-_558298.jpg;](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/533\/2016\/08\/1024px-HOUSEWIFE_IN_THE_KITCHEN_OF_HER_MOBILE_HOME_IN_ONE_OF_THE_TRAILER_PARKS._THE_TWO_PARKS_WERE_CREATED_IN_RESPONSE_TO..._-_NARA_-_558298-1024x688.jpg\")
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So once a month, my husband and I participate in a \u201cCFM group\u201d \u2014 that is, our parish\u2019s equivalent to \u201csmall faith-sharing groups\u201d but structured as Friday evening meetings where we go through a structured set of readings and discussion questions about some topic or another relating to Christian living, and then socialize. \u00a0This past Friday, the discussion topic was fatherhood, and, of the younger couples in attendance \u2014 four couples with children ranging from infants to elementary school \u2014 there was a firm consensus: \u00a0\u201cyou just can\u2019t afford to have only one parent working these days.\u201d \u00a0And, in fact, in all of those families, both Mom and Dad worked.<\/p>\n
Now, before you say, \u201cso what? \u00a0That\u2019s just how it is in upper middle class neighborhoods,\u201d let me add this: \u00a0my oldest son is 17, my youngest is 10, and there seems to be a clear difference between even this small gap in generations. \u00a0The mothers of my oldest son\u2019s classmates, when he was in elementary school, were far more likely to be stay-at-home moms; I felt like I was the odd one out for working part-time. \u00a0Among the mothers of my youngest\u2019s classmates, especially those where the 5th grader is the oldest child, it\u2019s the opposite \u2014 I\u2019m the odd one for only working part-time. \u00a0And certainly, in the sample size of 4 last night, these younger families \u2014 whose children were all born at\/after the 2008 recession \u2014 all perceived it necessary for both parents to work full-time.<\/p>\n
But here\u2019s the thing: \u00a0this apparent trend doesn\u2019t fit in at all with the actual data.<\/p>\n
Now, to be sure, the only data I\u2019m able to find is (maddenly) only available in graphical format, so you just have to eyeball it. \u00a0(Someday, when I get a job with a think tank, I\u2019ll have access to the underlying data.) \u00a0But here\u2019s a chart from Pew that shows that the percent of mothers (taking into account all mothers with children under 18, not the subgroup of moms with preschool or elementary school children) who stay at home, hit a low in 1999, at 23%, then climbed, leveled out, and then climbed again since about the time of the recession.<\/p>\n This chart ends at 2012, which is irritating, and the only update to this data is in the form of a \u201csquint to discern the percentages\u201d version:<\/p>\n This chart can\u2019t be read as a simple continuation of the prior one; you instead need to read this independently, but it\u2019s clear that the category, \u201cmom not employed, dad full time\u201d has increased since about 2008 or so, partly at the expense of the part-time mom category. \u00a0What exactly happened would be a lot easier to determine if this chart provided more underlying percentages during this time span, but it\u2019s clear that the last decade did not see a burst of straggler moms rushing back to the workplace.<\/p>\n So, some theories:<\/p>\n My little corner of the world has just changed, ever so slightly. \u00a0The burst of development in the early 2000s, the growth in teardowns and the building-up of the little suburban downtown, meant that the area wasn\u2019t hammered by the housing market crash nearly as badly as other areas, and that truly meant that even that small gap in years meant a big gap in affordability, so that it is truly the case that for a young couple now, who hadn\u2019t built up equity by buying in the \u201990s (that\u2019s when we bought our starter house; our move-up house came in 2003), our neighborhood and the surrounding area simply isn\u2019t affordable.<\/p>\n This is a generational effect in a different way. \u00a0As it happens, there are an unusually large number of second-generation parishioners, where either the husband or wife of the couple grew up locally and live, in some cases, very near their parents, and live out that Blue Bloods fantasy of Sunday dinners together. \u00a0These couples, who are striving to afford a home near the home that mom and dad were able to afford by having bought it well before the housing boom, may not feel they are able to choose a less-expensive neighborhood in order to reduce household expenses.<\/p>\n The seeming stability\/increase in stay-at-h0me moms masks larger changes that are happening within different socio-economic classes\/ethnic groups. \u00a0Again, I would love to have more data at hand. \u00a0There are analyses that conclude that the reason for growing inequality in household income is, in part, assortive mating, that is, high-achieving men and women marrying each other, rather than high-potential men looking for women who they expect to focus on family (whether they are conscious of those expectations or not). \u00a0Now, it would seem to me to be a longer-term trend than just the last decade, but perhaps millennials truly are a different breed.<\/p>\n Those of you who live outside my little corner of the world \u2014 or within it, for that matter \u2014 what trends do you see?<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Image:\u00a0https:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File%3AHOUSEWIFE_IN_THE_KITCHEN_OF_HER_MOBILE_HOME_IN_ONE_OF_THE_TRAILER_PARKS._THE_TWO_PARKS_WERE_CREATED_IN_RESPONSE_TO\u2026_-_NARA_-_558298.jpg; By Villalobos, Horacio, Photographer (NARA record: 8464479) (U.S. National Archives and Records Administration) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So once a month, my husband and I participate in a \u201cCFM group\u201d \u2014 that is, our parish\u2019s equivalent to \u201csmall faith-sharing groups\u201d but structured as Friday evening meetings where we go through a structured set of readings and discussion questions about some topic or another relating to Christian living, and then socialize. \u00a0This past […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2209,"featured_media":5196,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[20,162],"class_list":["post-7440","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-parenting","tag-stay-at-home-moms"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"http:\/\/www.pewsocialtrends.org\/2014\/04\/08\/after-decades-of-decline-a-rise-in-stay-at-home-mothers\/\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/533\/2017\/10\/Pew-1.jpg\")
![\"http:\/\/www.pewsocialtrends.org\/2015\/11\/04\/raising-kids-and-running-a-household-how-working-parents-share-the-load\/\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/533\/2017\/10\/Pew-2.jpg\")