{"id":773,"date":"2013-10-22T08:26:00","date_gmt":"2013-10-22T08:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/2013\/10\/ask-amy-and-the-population-bust.html"},"modified":"2013-10-22T08:26:00","modified_gmt":"2013-10-22T08:26:00","slug":"ask-amy-and-the-population-bust","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/2013\/10\/ask-amy-and-the-population-bust.html","title":{"rendered":"“Ask Amy” and the population bust?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Dear Amy: <\/p>\n

I have been married to the love of my life now for almost five years. When we were dating, we both expressed a desire to have children. After we got married, we got two dogs that fulfill my needs. I no longer want children. I am content with our life. <\/p>\n

My wife still wants children. Should I agree to have children to satisfy her need for motherhood and fulfill an unspoken promise? She got married with the understanding that children would be part of the equation. I know this upsets her, and understandably so. <\/p>\n

I feel that if I agree to have children I will be miserable and regretful for the rest of my life. On the other hand, I am heartbroken that she is so upset over the matter. How can we resolve this? <\/p>\n

\u2014 Unsure in Anchorage <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That\u2019s the first letter in today\u2019s Ask Amy column in the\u00a0Tribune<\/a>.\u00a0 Her response is to be more open to children, rather than afraid they\u2019ll change his life for the worse, to\u00a0ask the\u00a0fathers he knows about their experiences, and to seek professional (and\/or clergy) counseling.<\/p>\n

And \u2014 I don\u2019t know how large or small the group is that this letter-writer represents (speaking generally in the category of \u201cmy life is great; why should I have kids?\u201d not the specific issue of \u201cmy wife wants kids and I don\u2019t\u201d).\u00a0 But this letter often produces a companion: \u201cDear Amy, my wife is pregnant and I\u2019m furious.\u201d<\/p>\n

Which is a bad thing for society, of course, that (seemingly \u2014 I\u2019ve done no research today) the people who are best positioned to have children, well-educated, stable financially, are increasingly opting out.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

And it\u2019s an especially\u00a0disturbing mindset, when it becomes not just \u201cI prefer not to have kids\u201d but \u201cI have a right not to have kids,\u201d with its outcomes of men abandoning their children and women\u00a0having abortions as a form of back-up birth control.\u00a0 <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Amy: I have been married to the love of my life now for almost five years. When we were dating, we both expressed a desire to have children. After we got married, we got two dogs that fulfill my needs. I no longer want children. I am content with our life. My wife still […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2209,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n"Ask Amy" and the population bust?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dear Amy: I have been married to the love of my life now for almost five years. When we were dating, we both expressed a desire to have children. 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