part 1 here<\/a>.)<\/p>\nChapter 1:\u00a0 <\/p>\n
Beginning with a profile of Antonia Rodriguez (age 28) and boyfriend Emilio (5 years old); they live together in a home they bought 5 years ago (** median price in the neighborhood at the time:\u00a0 $5k).\u00a0 Antonia became a mom at age 14, left school at 15, unemployed and on welfare nearly the whole time since; Emilio also dropped out, one month before graduation.\u00a0 Antonia had moved in with Emilio\u2019s family before she even got pregnant, as her own mom was evicted from her apt.\u00a0 \u201cDespite their youth, Antonia insists she and Emilio had already planned to have children before she got pregnant, but had agreed to wait a year or two so both could get further in school\u201d\u00a0 (p 29), yet they used no contraception.<\/p>\n
In Philly, 6 of 10 births are outside of marriage, nearly half of 1st nonmarital births to teens.\u00a0 Why?<\/p>\n
Relationships move quickly.\u00a0 Romance comes in the form, not of dreaming of a wedding, but of having children together.\u00a0 \u201cIn the beginning, when you first like a guy a lot, oh, you wanna have his baby,\u201d says one mother.\u00a0 (p 30).\u00a0 And the boyfriends tell their girlfriends very quickly that they want to have a baby, too; this is a form of flattery, a compliment, praise that she\u2019d be a good mother \u2014 and \u201cthe desire to create some sort of significant, long-lasting bond through a child.\u201d\u00a0 Poor teenagers think of motherhood (and fatherhood) at an age when it\u2019s the furthest thing from a middle-class teen\u2019s mind; they have \u201can unabashed confidence that they\u2019re up to the job of parenting\u201d (p 32), because they\u2019re accustomed to taking care of younger siblings or cousins.\u00a0 <\/p>\n
About one in four children are explicitly intentionally conceived (1 in 4 black & Puerto Rican mothers, 1 in 10 whites) \u2014 to escape a bad home life, to provide the love of a child.\u00a0 <\/p>\n
Here\u2019s a surprising statement:\u00a0 \u201ctrust among residents of poor communities is astonishingly low \u2014 so low that most mothers we spoke with said they have no close friends, and many even distrust close kin.\u201d\u00a0 (p 34) \u2014 making the love of a child all the more desired. <\/p>\n
there\u2019s also an expressed desire to get childbearing\/raising \u201cout of the way\u201d \u2014 and a belief that waiting until age 30 is much too late.\u00a0 And once you\u2019ve got one, you should have another one or two to provide siblings.\u00a0 <\/p>\n
There was also pressure from boyfriends \u2014 not to have sex, but explicitly to get pregnant.<\/p>\n
Beyond the explicitly planned babies, were the non-planned but not-avoided pregnancies \u2014 \u201cnearly half (47%) of the mothers characterized their most recent birth as neither planned nor unplanned but somewhere in between.\u201d\u00a0 (p 37).\u00a0 Most of the remainder (40%) said the pregnancy was \u201caccidental\u201d but, a further half of this group said they were not \u201cdoing anything to prevent a pregnancy.\u201d\u00a0 And these are women who, not only have access to clinics but start out the relationship using condoms, or the pill or a Depo shot, and further into the relationship stop \u2014 either as a sign of commitment, or because of complaints of side effects or hassle.\u00a0 <\/p>\n
In addition to the accidentally-on-purpose pregnancies, there are also women who get pregnant because it\u2019s just one more aspect of a \u201chigh risk lifestyle\u201d \u2014 e.g., using drugs.\u00a0 <\/p>\n
\u201cThe vigilance and care that most birth control methods require are hard to maintain when women like Tasheika see so few costs to having a baby.\u201d\u00a0 (p 40).\u00a0 <\/p>\n
upon learning of the pregnancy, women most typically report that they were happy.\u00a0 Abortion is generally not an option, at least not for a generic unplanned pregnancy, without some further extreme circumstances, and adoption is out of the question.\u00a0 <\/p>\n
\u201cunlike their wealthier sisters, who have the chance to go to college and embark on careres \u2014 attractive possibilities that provide strong motivation to put off having children \u2014 poor young women grab eagerly at the surest source of accomplishment within their reach:\u00a0 becoming a mother.\u201d\u00a0 <\/p>\n
\u201cchildren offer a tangible source of meaning, while other avenues for gaining social esteem and personal satisfaction appear vague and tenuous.\u201d\u00a0 (p 49)<\/p>\n
Chapter 2<\/p>\n
Profile of Mahkiya Washington (age 20), boyfriend Mike, 17 month-old daughter Ebony, who live with her sister across the street from their mother.\u00a0 Mahkiya\u2019s the 3rd of 5 children born to married parents, but dad died when she was 10.\u00a0 The pair dated in high school; they went to college (though he later dropped out), they had sex without contraception, but with her assurance she\u2019d get an abortion if needed.\u00a0 Upon getting pregnant, though, she felt compelled to keep the child, despite Mike\u2019s pressure to abort, which stopped when Mike\u2019s mother got word.\u00a0 Even though he relented in this, the relationship was still strained, not least because of money worries.<\/p>\n
The typical poor expectant mother feels a new obligation to change her behavior, staying away from bars and parties; not so for the future fathers.\u00a0 Despite dreams of fatherhood before the pregnancy, they are likely to respond with shock and trepidation, denying the child is theirs or pressuring the mom into an abortion, or abandoning the girlfriend.\u00a0 In some cases, denials are accompanied with violence, even hitting the mother in the belly.\u00a0 <\/p>\n
At the same time, women\u2019s\/girls\u2019 expectations are high \u2014 wanting him to get serious about finding a job, attending doctors\u2019 visits with her, and performing all the stereotypical \u201cexpectant father duties\u201d (e.g., getting a craved food item from the grocery store).\u00a0 These pressures provoke resentment, and the previously \u201cgood\u201d boyfriends often begin to stay out late, do drugs, cheat on them.\u00a0 Others become more jealous and controlling, and even abusive.\u00a0\u00a0In some cases, though, pregnancy does have the desired effect of bringing a couple closer.\u00a0 (p 59)<\/p>\n
after the birth, men often come around \u2014 since their lives are also \u201caimless and relationally impoverished\u201d (p 60).\u00a0 One of the markers is whether they are present of the birth or at least visit the hospital \u2014 7 of 10 fathers meet this standard.\u00a0 <\/p>\n
the next marker is whether the mother gives the child the father\u2019s last name, or her own, depending on how supportive he was of her.<\/p>\n
Parents\u2019 reactions:\u00a0 most parents are disappointed, having wanted their children not to follow their own path; \u201cbut a pregnancy that occurs \u2018out of order\u2019 offers another, alternative route to respectability \u2014 albeit a slightly tarnished one\u201d (p 65) if the girl achieves goals later on.\u00a0 <\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Continuing my notes on the book.\u00a0 (See part 1 here.) Chapter 1:\u00a0 Beginning with a profile of Antonia Rodriguez (age 28) and boyfriend Emilio (5 years old); they live together in a home they bought 5 years ago (** median price in the neighborhood at the time:\u00a0 $5k).\u00a0 Antonia became a mom at age 14, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2209,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-785","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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