{"id":8916,"date":"2018-03-27T19:46:02","date_gmt":"2018-03-28T01:46:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/?p=8916"},"modified":"2018-03-27T19:46:02","modified_gmt":"2018-03-28T01:46:02","slug":"three-things-about-emma-gonzalez-accused-ostracizer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/janetheactuary\/2018\/03\/three-things-about-emma-gonzalez-accused-ostracizer.html","title":{"rendered":"Three things about Emma Gonzalez, accused ostracizer"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/p>\n

Earlier today, I saw a snippet of a speech by Emma Gonzalez, emerging gun control activist, in which she spoke of \u201costracizing\u201d the school shooter.\u00a0 When I first saw this, I assumed it was from this past weekend\u2019s march\/rally, but it turns out that it was from a rally back in February, and I was able to find a full transcript of the speech<\/a>.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the key paragraph:<\/p>\n

So many signs that the Florida shooter was mentally disturbed, even expelled for bad and erratic behavior. Neighbors and classmates knew he was a big problem. Must always report such instances to authorities again and again. We did, time and time again. Since he was in middle school, it was no surprise to anyone who knew him to hear that he was the shooter. Those talking about how we should have not ostracized him, you didn\u2019t know this kid. OK, we did. We know that they are claiming mental health issues, and I am not a psychologist, but we need to pay attention to the fact that this was not just a mental health issue. He would not have harmed that many students with a knife.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So what do you make of this?\u00a0 It\u2019s complicated.<\/p>\n

In the first place, there is consensus among both the \u201cgun safety\u201d and the \u201cgun rights\u201d advocates that Cruz should not have had access to guns<\/strong>.\u00a0 Gun rights advocates believe this would have been avoided had the school and the police not adopted an approach towards troublemaking students of, well, ignoring the problem.\u00a0 If Cruz had been arrested for any of a long list of \u201carrest-able\u201d offenses, he would not have had the clean record that enabled him to pass a background check and acquire his guns.\u00a0 \u201cGun safety\u201d advocates, in contrast, are saying, alternately, that his age should have precluded any firearms purchase at all, or that neither he nor anyone else should have access to guns with \u201clarge capacity magazines,\u201d however defined, or that we should follow the approach of Japan and grant firearms ownership only to those who have proven that they are morally upstanding citizens.<\/p>\n

But with respect to the mental health issue<\/strong>, not long ago CNN reported<\/a> that the father of one of the victims had encouraged students to \u201cwalk up not out\u201d:<\/p>\n

Ryan Petty, the father of one of the students killed in last month\u2019s shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, has proposed an alternative to the school walkouts being held around the country Wednesday.<\/p>\n

He is urging people to \u201cwalk up,\u201d not out.<\/p>\n

\u201cInstead of walking out of school in March 14, encourage students to walk up,\u201d he posted on Twitter. \u201cWalk up to the kid who sits alone at lunch and invite him to sit with your group; walk up to the kid who sits quietly in the corner of the room and sit next to her. \u2026 Walk up to your teachers and thank them; walk up to someone who has different views than you and get to know them \u2014 you may be surprised at how much you have in common.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This provoked substantial backlash.\u00a0 Website The Mighty summarized the complaints<\/a>:\u00a0 the idea appears to place \u201cbeing kind\u201d as an alternative to gun control rather than doing both; this is \u201cblaming the victim\u201d for suggesting that these kids were to blame for being mean; and, finally, kids who eat alone are being stereotyped as future school shooters.<\/p>\n

Is this right?\u00a0 Is this wrong?\u00a0 I certainly don\u2019t believe that any one kid, or any group of kids, can \u201cfix\u201d a severely troubled kid by being nicer to them.\u00a0 And, whether in the context of \u201cstopping future school shootings\u201d or just being decent people, I don\u2019t see how we can expect children to meet our ideals of reaching out to the lonely, ideals that we adults are no more likely to meet.\u00a0 After all, think about it:\u00a0 when was the last time you approached someone who appeared to seem out-of-place or a little lost at some sort of social event, say, a meet-and-greet or a lunch at some sort of conference?\u00a0 And to expect this of kids who had by this point seen numerous instances of disruptive, violent behavior?\u00a0 That\u2019s not realistic.<\/p>\n

And consider Gonzalez\u2019s words:\u00a0 we knew he was trouble, we reported him, no one did anything.\u00a0 We ostracized him, but can you blame us?<\/em><\/p>\n

Yet, even knowing that she was referring to a student who, as an adult, killed 17 people, I keep reading these words and struggling with them<\/strong>.\u00a0 Yes, being ostracized is, strictly speaking, not the same thing as being bullied, and some kids are perfectly happy to be ostracized by the majority of the student body, if they\u2019re introverts or if they have one or two close friends, and virtually no kids, no matter how poorly they\u2019re treated in middle or high school, go on to kill anyone.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s still pretty lousy.<\/p>\n

The other day, my son reported that a friend of his, who he recognizes is not as mature as the other kids in the 5th grade classroom and gets upset easily, was being bullied by the other kids \u2014 not in the \u201cgive me your lunch money\u201d sort of way, but in a more subtle way, since the kids had discovered what buttons to push to get him upset, and pushed those buttons.\u00a0 The assistant principal came in and had a long talk with the kids, he reports.<\/p>\n

And these scenes happen regularly, at schools everywhere.\u00a0 We can\u2019t make<\/em> kids be nice to other kids, or be friends with those whose company isn\u2019t enjoyable.\u00a0 But it stinks to be that kid<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Image:\u00a0https:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File:Trump-WomensMarch_2017-top-1510075_(32409710246).jpg<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Earlier today, I saw a snippet of a speech by Emma Gonzalez, emerging gun control activist, in which she spoke of \u201costracizing\u201d the school shooter.\u00a0 When I first saw this, I assumed it was from this past weekend\u2019s march\/rally, but it turns out that it was from a rally back in February, and I was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2209,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[942,167,644],"class_list":["post-8916","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-bullying","tag-high-school","tag-mass-shootings"],"yoast_head":"\nThree things about Emma Gonzalez, accused ostracizer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Earlier today, I saw a snippet of a speech by Emma Gonzalez, emerging gun control activist, in which she spoke of "ostracizing" the school shooter.\u00a0 When\" \/>\n<meta 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