{"id":3427,"date":"2015-06-15T18:30:52","date_gmt":"2015-06-15T23:30:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/jenniferfitz\/?p=3427"},"modified":"2015-06-15T18:30:52","modified_gmt":"2015-06-15T23:30:52","slug":"how-to-idiot-proof-your-parish-and-diocese-against-the-sexual-abuse-crisis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jenniferfitz\/2015\/06\/how-to-idiot-proof-your-parish-and-diocese-against-the-sexual-abuse-crisis\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Idiot Proof Your Parish and Diocese Against the Sexual Abuse Crisis"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>The idiots in question are ordinary people like yourself, busy, overwhelmed with responsibilities, always trying to figure out which situations are the most desperate and which are okay enough to leave be for the moment. \u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/theanchoress\/2015\/06\/15\/nienstedt-resigns-after-abuse-cover-up-the-flawed-element\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\">Elizabeth Scalia and others <\/a>report on the latest round of resigning bishops, and here\u2019s the thing you need to understand: That diocese is just like yours, and by that I mean it is filled with people like you.<\/p>\n<p>\u2013&gt; In the unlikely event that you\u2019re one of those people who has it completely together, and never ever makes a bad judgment call, never ever drops the ball, never ever says, \u201cBut I didn\u2019t think that would happen!\u201d believe you me, the rest of the slouches in your parish, ministry, or organization are complete idiots. \u00a0That\u2019s just how it is. \u00a0What this means is that in order to keep our children safe from sexual abuse, we have to idiot-proof our work.<\/p>\n<p>Fortunately, it\u2019s doable. \u00a0Here are the basics:<\/p>\n<h2>1. Learn to dial 911.<\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.cruxnow.com\/church\/2015\/06\/15\/archbishop-of-st-paul-minnesota-resigns-after-sex-abuse-coverup-charges-against-archdiocese\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">In reading the harrowing account of how a serial abuser was left in office for years<\/a>, one fact stands out: Bunches of people knew the abuse was going on, and not a single one called the police. \u00a0Not one.<\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t need permission to pick up the telephone.<\/p>\n<p>It doesn\u2019t matter what your boss says. \u00a0It doesn\u2019t matter what your job description is, or that you haven\u2019t got one. \u00a0The police are so easy to contact even a kindergartner can do it, and that means you can, too. <a href=\"http:\/\/amazingcatechists.com\/2012\/09\/just-tell-the-police\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\"><strong>\u00a0If you suspect a crime is taking place, pick up the phone and call the police<\/strong>.<\/a> \u00a0You can talk to the competent church authorities after.<\/p>\n<p>To put your mind at ease:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You can talk to an officer at your local police station and describe the situation first before naming the perpetrator, if you are unsure whether a crime is actually taking place.<\/li>\n<li>The police have the job of conducting investigations and sorting out guilt from innocence, not you. \u00a0Your parish priest knows an awful lot of stuff, but he\u2019s probably not a cop specializing in investigating this type of crime. \u00a0Pull in the pro\u2019s ASAP, and let them help your parish figure out if there\u2019s really a problem or not.<\/li>\n<li>It does no one any favors to \u201ckeep things quiet.\u201d \u00a0Once the possibility of abuse has reared its head, the most healing thing to do is confront the problem head-on, charitably but thoroughly.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u2019ve seen lots of cases in the news where people suspected abuse was taking place and wrung their hands and said, \u201cOh me oh my, what shall we DO??\u201d \u00a0I can assure you, the police were on this job, investigating sexual abusers and bringing them to trial back in the \u201980\u2019s when everyone says people \u201cjust didn\u2019t know,\u201d and they still keep their hand practiced at it. \u00a0If <strong>you<\/strong> know about a possible crime in your parish and it doesn\u2019t get reported, it\u2019s because <strong>you<\/strong> did not report it.<\/p>\n<h2>2. Be a Pest About Following\u00a0Policy<\/h2>\n<p>Sometimes you\u2019re the pest, sometimes you\u2019re the one being pestered. That\u2019s how it works when we mere mortals help each other. \u00a0Your parish or diocese has policies in place to help prevent child abuse, <a href=\"http:\/\/amazingcatechists.com\/2012\/09\/weve-got-a-sexual-abuse-prevention-policy-now-what\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">but they only work if people follow them<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve heard harrowing tales of places where people simply don\u2019t follow the basic precautions set in place by their diocese. \u00a0When that happens, those who witness the violations must\u00a0stand up and refuse to let the negligence continue.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve known cases where\u00a0people follow a policy in a dubious just-meeting-the-letter-of-the-law way, and in that case you have to apply a bit of moral force. \u00a0Don\u2019t expect it to be pleasant. \u00a0Are you really going to explain to a child who\u2019s been abused, \u201cWell, I knew that Mrs. Johnson wasn\u2019t really creating a safe environment, but I didn\u2019t want to upset anybody.\u201d \u00a0No.<\/p>\n<p><strong>And I\u2019ve also seen what I hope is the most common case, which is that we humans sometimes overlook the obvious. \u00a0<\/strong>We misread a policy, we don\u2019t realize that we\u2019ve got the conditions that we do, we think we\u2019ve got everything in order, but really we don\u2019t. \u00a0So when your realize an oversight is taking place, just say, \u201cHey, aren\u2019t we supposed to be doing _____?\u201d \u00a0Or \u201cDoesn\u2019t _______ policy apply in this situation?\u201d \u00a0Any honest administrator (and I\u2019ve been this administrator) would much rather rectify a situation before it causes a problem.<\/p>\n<p>When I\u2019m in charge, I want to know about a policy-compliance problem the minute it happens, not three months from now when you get around to mentioning it. I also need to know if my attempted fix has failed: Just because I think I\u2019ve addressed a safety concern doesn\u2019t mean what I tried really worked. \u00a0Like all the other humans I work with, I\u2019m not omniscient.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2013&gt; It is\u00a0<em>normal<\/em> for humans to make honest mistakes. \u00a0Therefore it needs to be\u00a0<em>normal<\/em> to identify and correct them without throwing around blame or casting aspersions. \u00a0Just get the situation corrected. \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The reality is that your parish is far safer if it is run by goofballs who are grateful when you speak up about potential problems than if it\u2019s run by someone who does everything \u201cperfectly\u201d all the time, and therefore refuses to admit that there could ever be the slightest improvement.<\/p>\n<h2>3. Use Your Head for Something Other Than a Decoration<\/h2>\n<p>You have to think through conditions on the ground. \u00a0No policy or procedure can be written in enough detail to answer every scenario. \u00a0A room full of high school students is different than a room full of two-year-olds. \u00a0A parish nursery in a separate building is different than a parish nursery with glass windows and doors looking out on a constantly-trafficked hallway. \u00a0A single-person bathroom is different from a multi-user bathroom is different from a bathroom used by the general public and not just the kids in your program.<\/p>\n<p>Is it a pain the butt trying to run a preschool program when you have to have two background-checked adults take any child down the hall to the bathroom? \u00a0Yeah it is. \u00a0But\u00a0<em>it\u2019s a pain in the butt<\/em> doesn\u2019t trump \u201cadults don\u2019t get to be alone in a bathroom with other people\u2019s kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Anytime you try something new, you have to deal with a fresh set of conditions. \u00a0Sometimes it\u2019s obvious how to make changes, other times it\u2019s not. \u00a0Sometimes problems crop up that you weren\u2019t expecting. \u00a0 Sometimes it takes a while to train parishioners (or yourself) out of habits that might be fine in one situation, but aren\u2019t in another. \u00a0Sometimes you think everything\u2019s running smoothly, and then someone comes up with a fresh new way to make you want to pound your head against a brick wall.<\/p>\n<p>You have to keep at it. \u00a0You keep assessing, you keep listening to your advisers (collect as many as you can), you keep looking for solutions.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Evil\u2019s around, and fighting it gets tiring. \u00a0When we look at the egregious cases in the news, it\u2019s tempting to say, \u201cWhat idiot let this happen?\u201d \u00a0But the reality is that it takes a lot of idiots working together to prevent problems and rectify them when they occur.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">\u201cSafety\u201d isn\u2019t the perfect document, nor is it one person doing everything right. \u00a0We create a safe environment when everyone is committed to a no-nonsense stance against child abuse, and all of us are willing to use our heads and our mouths to keep each other on the right path.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/thumb\/8\/8b\/Group_picking_shrimp._Olga%2C_5_years_old_on_the_end_was_helping_mother._I_tried_to_get_her_photo_at_home_when_they..._-_NARA_-_523409.tif\/lossy-page1-800px-Group_picking_shrimp._Olga%2C_5_years_old_on_the_end_was_helping_mother._I_tried_to_get_her_photo_at_home_when_they..._-_NARA_-_523409.tif.jpg\" alt=\"File:Group picking shrimp. Olga, 5 years old on the end was helping mother. I tried to get her photo at home when they... - NARA - 523409.tif\" width=\"755\" height=\"541\"><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><em>Photo: Lewis Hine [Public domain], <a href=\"https:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File%3AGroup_picking_shrimp._Olga%2C_5_years_old_on_the_end_was_helping_mother._I_tried_to_get_her_photo_at_home_when_they..._-_NARA_-_523409.tif\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">via Wikimedia Commons<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The idiots in question are ordinary people like yourself, busy, overwhelmed with responsibilities, always trying to figure out which situations are the most desperate and which are okay enough to leave be for the moment. \u00a0 Elizabeth Scalia and others report on the latest round of resigning bishops, and here\u2019s the thing you need to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1209,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[87,44,51,110],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chastity","category-church-craziness","category-forgiveness","category-rant-o-rama"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Idiot Proof Your Parish and Diocese Against the Sexual Abuse Crisis<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The idiots in question are ordinary people like yourself, busy, overwhelmed with responsibilities, always trying to figure out which situations are the\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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