{"id":3994,"date":"2015-08-30T12:11:17","date_gmt":"2015-08-30T17:11:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/jenniferfitz\/?p=3994"},"modified":"2015-08-30T13:29:46","modified_gmt":"2015-08-30T18:29:46","slug":"pro-life-married-and-contracepting-is-there-a-problem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jenniferfitz\/2015\/08\/pro-life-married-and-contracepting-is-there-a-problem\/","title":{"rendered":"Pro-Life, Married, and Contracepting: Is There a Problem?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

In light of the recent Planned Parenthood videos, I\u2019ve been thinking about a group of pro-life friends who don\u2019t fit the Catholic categories. \u00a0These are staunchly pro-life Christians who believe sex should be saved for marriage, that marriage is a lifelong, exclusive union between one man and one woman, but who take contraception as the \u2018default mode\u2019 for marital relations, and sterilization as an acceptable way to avoid pregnancy indefinitely.<\/p>\n

There are variations within that broad definition, but that\u2019s the gist of it.<\/p>\n

When Catholics talk about the connection between contraception and abortion, these couples do not quite fit the pattern. \u00a0They use contraception (or sterilization) the way Catholics use NFP: If a pregnancy should result despite the couple\u2019s attempt to avoid conceiving, they chalk it up to the will of God and joyfully accept the bundle of surprise happiness.<\/p>\n

Why do these couples contracept? Because they\u2019ve been told to, mostly. \u00a0Keep in mind that even Catholics virtually never speak of the question, and we have\u00a0Humanae Vitae<\/a>.<\/em>\u00a0 Christians of all brands tend to assume that if there is vast pastoral silence on a matter, then whatever the culture is saying must be right.<\/p>\n

Thus these couples take what their pastors do have to say about love and marriage and sex, then fit the cultural norms into the gaps.<\/p>\n

Do we have\u00a0a problem?<\/h2>\n

I am not writing here a full argument against contraception. \u00a0You can get started on that here<\/a>, or here<\/a>, or here<\/a>. What I want to talk about is the one weird trick contraception plays on marriage, and how that trickles down to everyone else.<\/p>\n

When we talk about contraception, especially\u00a0methods with no abortifacient potential, people tend to say, \u201cWell, NFP is the same thing. \u00a0You\u2019re preventing births. You\u2019re just using time, rather than a physical barrier, as your thing to avoid pregnancy.\u201d<\/p>\n

This gets a little comical half a second later, when you say, \u201cGosh, if they are the same thing, then there\u2019s no reason you shouldn\u2019t switch.\u201d<\/p>\n

They are most definitely not the same thing. \u00a0Choosing to abstain is radically different from choosing to have sex. \u00a0It is much harder to play Scrabble while having sex, for one thing.<\/p>\n

The whole point of contraception is that you intend to have sex but don\u2019t want the consequences that might follow. \u00a0The whole point of NFP is that because you are concerned about the consequence, you choose\u00a0not<\/em> to have sex.<\/p>\n

What does this do to you as a person? To you as a couple? \u00a0To you as a member of society?<\/p>\n

The thing that contraception does is that it turns sex into something you are convinced that you\u00a0need.<\/em><\/p>\n

This is a problem because it is a lie, and a deadly one.<\/p>\n

How To Kill A Marriage Quick<\/h2>\n

I\u2019m a fan of the marital act. \u00a0Not only can I show the goods to back up that claim, but longtime readers can attest that one of my intermittent themes is airing my suspicions about\u00a0that handful of Catholics who fear that someone, somewhere, is abstaining for the pure pleasure of it.<\/p>\n

The precise manner and frequency of intercourse is something each married couple has to work out for themselves, but two things tend to screw up a marriage fast. \u00a0The first is a spouse who is resentful of the other person\u2019s interest in them (a real problem for some, but not the topic of this post). \u00a0The second is a spouse who is resentful of the reality that even married people can\u2019t just drop their pants any time they want.<\/p>\n

Related posts you might want to pause and peruse right now:<\/em><\/p>\n