Coming back from the Bellingham Bells game last night, I stopped at the usual cheap gas store on the Hannegan and the East Indian guy behind the counter again commented that I look like \u201cthat guy.\u201d You know, the one from the movies.<\/p>\n
\u201cZach Galifianakis,\u201d I said, again.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, the guy from Due Date<\/em>,\u201d he said. \u201cVery funny.\u201d<\/p>\n Normally, that\u2019s where this Syssiphean exchange ends but last night he threw a curve ball by asking, \u201cDo you do comedy too?\u201d<\/p>\n Now I don\u2019t know what came over me, but I decided to tell him a joke.<\/p>\n \u201cSo there\u2019s this old couple,\u201d I said, \u201cand they\u2019re walking along a beach.\u201d<\/p>\n He nodded.<\/p>\n \u201cThe wife turns to the husband and says, \u2018Dear, there\u2019s something I have to tell you after all these years. I have always loved you but I haven\u2019t exactly always been faithful to you.\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cAnd so he wants to know what the hell she means by that.<\/p>\n \u201cShe says, \u2018Well, during our marriage, I have cheated on you three times.\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cAnd so the husband wants to know, \u2018When were these three times?'\u201d<\/p>\n Gas station guy\u2019s eyes got bigger.<\/p>\n \u201cShe says, \u2018Well the first time was, Do you remember when we were trying to get that loan for our first house and we were having a really hard time of it and the loan just seemed to miraculously come through?\u2019<\/p>\n My cashier chin-checked that one along with the husband.<\/p>\n \u201cShe continues, \u2018Well, I kind of, well dear I slept with the loan officer.\u2019<\/p>\n The husband, I told him, kicks some sand and utters a mild swear under his breath, then says, \u201cNow, I don\u2019t think you should have done that, but it was a long time ago and you were trying to help us out, so I can forgive that one but-\u201d<\/p>\n I paused and held up two fingers. East Indian dude focused on them like a laser beam.<\/p>\n \u201c-what about the other two?\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cThe wife says, \u2018Well do you remember that time when you were really sick and the doctor came to the house and prescribed those antibiotics?\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cShe explains, \u2018Doctors, I found out, really hate making house calls. I finally had to sleep with one of them to get him out here.'\u201d<\/p>\n My cashier laughed a little.<\/p>\n I went on, \u201cThe husband breathes a sigh of relief. He says, \u2018OK, you were worried I was going to die, so I can understand that. Not a problem.\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cThen he adds, almost as an afterthought and with a dismissive wave of the hand, \u2018What about the other one?\u2019<\/p>\n \u201cShe says, \u2018Well dear, do you remember that time when you were running for mayor and you were down by about 300 votes\u2026'\u201d<\/p>\n He didn\u2019t get it.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Coming back from the Bellingham Bells game last night, I stopped at the usual cheap gas store on the Hannegan and the East Indian guy behind the counter again commented that I look like \u201cthat guy.\u201d You know, the one from the movies. \u201cZach Galifianakis,\u201d I said, again. \u201cYeah, the guy from Due Date,\u201d he […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1078,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[263],"tags":[379,380,378],"class_list":["post-628","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-silly-season","tag-due-date","tag-gasoline","tag-zach-galifianakis"],"yoast_head":"\n