Sit down with me, girlfriend. We need to talk.<\/p>\n
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It\u2019s almost like middle school all over again, this world of social media. We\u2019re\u00a0fractured into separate groups \u2014 tiny little familiar tribes of people who think and talk and dress and possibly look like us. And with some kind of eighth-grade mean girl mentality, we\u2019re tearing each other down. I\u2019ve seen the posts on Facebook and Twitter. Don\u2019t try to pretend it\u2019s not happening, girl. We all know it is. We\u2019re all doing it.<\/p>\n
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Some of you from your camp are saying,\u00a0I voted Biblically! There was no other choice!<\/em> and you mean this truly and with no vitriol. And others of us are saying,\u00a0How could you? How could you betray all of us this way?\u00a0<\/em>and we really mean it \u2014 we\u2019re hurt and confused.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Some of you are telling us that we\u2019ll go to hell for voting for Hillary, that you can\u2019t believe we don\u2019t care about the unborn.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Some of us are calling you racist, saying you sold us out.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n You tell us to Get over it. Stop whining, don\u2019t be a sore loser<\/em>. We say\u00a0We can\u2019t! We\u2019re hurting. And angry. And it\u2019s your fault.<\/em><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Women, we\u2019re better than this.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n We have to be better<\/em> than this. We have a world to run.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Studies show that empowered women \u2014 empowered economically, socially through policy, creatively, etc \u2014 elevate their communities entirely, making life better for everyone. But if we\u2019re so busy with our own mean-girl in-fighting, how can we elevate each other, much less our families and communities?<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Ladies, it\u2019s up to us. Peace is up to us. Justice is up to us. We need to be the ones to have the hard conversations, to find a way to work together in our disagreement, to lead our different tribes toward a common goal. There is some serious shit on the line here.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n We need to be the kinds of Jesus Freaks that Jesus would want us to be. We need to listen more, accuse less. Learn from each other instead of calling each other names. And we especially need to listen to those who are not in power \u2014 so if you\u2019re straight, cis, white, and Christian like me, we need to listen to our sisters who are not straight, white, cis, and Christian. And we need to listen without defensiveness, with wanting to correct them, to tell them how they should experience their own experience. We don\u2019t get to do that.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Listening like this takes Christ-like humility. It takes a willingness to leave our own agendas off to the side, even if for a moment, to make space for someone else to be heard. It has to be a heart-hearing, or it won\u2019t work.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s easy. It\u2019s not \u2014 it\u2019s crazy hard. And this letter is as much to me as it is to any of you, because I\u2019ve been just as bad about hurling the nasty online. I think we can all agree we\u2019re doing it out of pain, and if we can start listening to each other\u2019s pain, maybe we can get better.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n It\u2019s something, I think, that women are completely capable of doing, and it\u2019s up to us to do it. \u00a0Here\u2019s three ways you help move toward healing, so we women can do our work of making the world a better place for everyone:<\/p>\n Much of the heat and vitriol is being tossed about online, and it\u2019s easy to get caught up in the fray. I\u2019m not saying to not post your opinion. But I am asking you to do it responsibly. Check your sources and make sure you\u2019re not linking to a fringe site. You might have a great point to make, but link to respectable sites if you want to be taken seriously. This goes for both sides.<\/p>\n Even better? Ask questions. If something is really bothering you, ask for help understanding a point of view, and do so without the need to argue. Just listen \u2014 you don\u2019t have to agree, but it is your responsibility to learn.<\/p>\n Most of all: don\u2019t feed\u00a0the trolls. They\u2019re assholes. \u00a0Do engage in honest, respectful dialogue with others who are working toward reconciliation and understanding.<\/p>\n It\u2019s hard to be kind and open if you\u2019re red-hot and raw. This election has everyone on edge, and a peaceful retreat might be just what the doctor ordered for everyone. Maybe it\u2019s a simple bubble bath, or maybe it\u2019s a week-long social media fast. Whatever it takes, girl, make it happen. We all know it\u2019s better for everyone<\/em>.<\/p>\n The safety-pin trend is something I\u2019m participating in, but it\u2019s important to listen to our sisters of color who are calling this out as just another hip trend. Let\u2019s not jump on the apathy bandwagon. I wear a safety pin, but I also create a safe space here on this blog and in real life for marginalized people. It\u2019s important to get activated beyond just symbolic measures. It will also remove feelings of helplessness you might be feeling.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re not of the safety-pin ilk, that\u2019s cool. You can get active, too. Have a conversation with women who feel differently than you. Invite them for coffee and ask them to explain why they\u2019re scared. When they do, rather than dismissing those fears, promise them that you\u2019ll help keep them safe. And if the opportunity ever presents itself, make good on that promise.<\/p>\n Regardless of which camp you\u2019re in, I\u2019d love to hear what you are going to do to move toward peace and reconciliation with women who voted differently than you. Please tell me in the comments.<\/p>\n Normally, I let most comments stay unless they are absolutely disgusting. I simply don\u2019t respond to emotional bait or asinine comments, because I think they speak for themselves. I\u2019ll respond when I need to clarify or support a poster, or when dialogue interests me and I have time (which isn\u2019t often).<\/p>\n However because of the nature of this particular post, and because it\u2019s a step in the direction of peace and reconciliation, and because while none of us is going to be perfect at this, comments that I deem to be asinine, divisive, or troll-ish will be removed.<\/p>\n I hope for A LOT of comments that are geared toward peace.<\/p>\n _____________________________________________________________________<\/p>\n<\/h3>\n
LISTEN \u2014 DON\u2019T YELL \u2014 ONLINE<\/h3>\n
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PRACTICE SELF CARE<\/h3>\n
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DO MORE THAN JUST A SAFETY PIN<\/h3>\n
ONE MORE THING\u2026<\/h3>\n