this post<\/a>. Stick with me \u2014 you may be a little surprised at where I go with this.<\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
Okay, let\u2019s start with the expected: yeah, I curse. No, I\u2019m probably not going to stop. I won\u2019t curse in this post, though, so keep reading, okay?<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve tried stopping numerous times. I really have. And always within about twenty seconds of promising myself and God that I would stop cursing, inevitably something would cause a string of expletives to come out of my mouth like Niagra Falls.\u00a0It was frustrating and yet another way that I could call myself a failure.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
It made me nervous around Christians, and that made me nervous around God. I mean, I was obviously a complete screw-up, and how could I ever participate in the work of God\u2019s kingdom if I keep screwing up by cursing? \u00a0(Please don\u2019t tell me you consider \u201cscrew up\u201d\u00a0a curse word, because then I just give up. I use crap as a substitute for another word, which I won\u2019t say here, and when I discovered many Christians consider crap a curse word, I knew I was in trouble.)<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Anyway.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Then something really weird happened: I experienced a God who loves me not just despite my cursing, but even in my cursing. Now, don\u2019t get your panties in a bunch \u2014 I\u2019m not saying God is giving me the nod of approval over my swearwords. I\u2019m just saying that God loves me wholly and fully and completely, sin and all. And God loves you that way, too.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
And listen \u2014 for every complaint I get about the cursing, I get probably 5 more comments on pieces in which I curse that say, \u201cThank you for your honesty, I never knew a Christian I could relate to,\u201d or something similar. These same people are the ones who say things to me like, \u201cI never knew Jesus was so cool,\u201d or \u201cI want to read the Bible now because of how you write about your faith.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Friend, and please know I don\u2019t mean any offense here, but if someone will read the Bible or get to know Jesus because I\u2019ve made them feel comfortable by cursing, that\u2019s worth it to me. It\u2019s worth making you a little angry or uncomfortable. But something tells me you get that. Something tells me that even though you disapprove of me and my language, you love the idea of people getting to know Jesus, because he SO FREAKING AMAZING, right? (PLEASE TELL ME FREAKING DOES NOT COUNT!!!!)<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
The other thing I want you to know is that writing, for me, is cathartic. I would do it even if no one ever read this blog (in fact, that\u2019s pretty much how I blogged for years \u2014 all by my lonely.). \u00a0Writing is something my soul needs to do, and I need to be able to be entirely authentic and honest when I do it.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
I do claim this as my space, and just like I would not step on stage at your church and let loose, so I hope I can ask the same of you \u2014 that you\u2019ll enter this space respecting that it is the space of my creativity, and while it may not always be pretty, it will be authentic and real.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Maybe you know this or maybe you don\u2019t, but it can be scary on this side, because you can be ferocious sometimes, collectively.\u00a0Sometimes, your comments can hurt. I am far from perfect. Most of the time I\u2019m a pretty big mess who is just trying to love the people we\u2019re all so good at marginalizing, at making other. I\u2019m just trying to love people like Jesus loved people, and sometimes that gets really unruly, and I get all these emotions and they come out as curse words.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
I\u2019m humbly asking you to open your heart to me, to love me like Jesus loves me, with your whole messy heart and my whole messy heart. How about I promise not to roll my eyes at you and tell you you\u2019re a little tiny bit uptight and maybe should get over it, and you don\u2019t lecture me in the comments like you\u2019re my father and I\u2019m ten years old. Because honestly, both of those things are totally not loving, even if it\u2019s what we both want to respectively do.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
But now I\u2019m going to tell you that maybe you\u2019re a little right, too.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
I tread carefully here, because there were some very condescending comments on the post \u2014 comments that sounded a teeny bit Pharisaical to me. I do think that some of you maybe focused one word I used instead of the full meaning of the post, and that, I think, was a cop out. \u00a0To say you hang out with \u201cthe right Jesus\u201d implies others hang out with \u201cthe wrong one.\u201d\u00a0Maybe Jesus never cursed, but I really doubt that the tax collectors and prostitutes and drunks he hung around with were all that pure in thought and language.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
The point is, Jesus hung out with them anyway.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
And if we\u2019re going to be scared of a few curse words, we\u2019re going to be living a pretty sterile brand of Christianity, one that stays far away from the real-life dirt and grime that covers most of the world that needs him.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
But I also hear you when you say that because of that one word, you felt you couldn\u2019t forward it to your friends. And maybe your friends are exactly the kind of people who need to read that post. Without the curse word. It\u2019s inhospitable of me to not remember that.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
That means something to me \u2014 because if one person is changed, if one person learns to love gay people, for example, because of something that I write, well, that\u2019s more important than me indulging my seemingly inescapable urge to curse, and my creative drive that says sometimes a well-placed F-bomb is exactly<\/em> what a piece needs. (Because that actually does happen.)<\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
So here is my offer. You keep coming back. You keep reading, with a desire to understand my heart, knowing that maybe sometimes, I\u2019ll let loose. You agree to love me even though I am obviously a person who has serious issues because of that language and I am different from you and totally imperfect and sometimes I curse and sometimes I am snarky (after all, the tagline does say, \u201cFaith. With Attitude.\u201d). \u00a0You agree to give me the benefit of the doubt in spite of me, and to try not to lecture me in the comments. If I do curse in a piece that you think a friend might need to read, I challenge you to love me \u2014 and your friend \u2014 enough to say, \u201cHey, I don\u2019t agree with some of her language, but I thought you might like the spirit of this piece,\u201d because maybe they need to learn how to love people who curse, too.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
And I promise not to automatically think you\u2019re just too uptight. I promise to try to be more respectful in my language, especially when I\u2019m writing about bigger issues that might be highly shareable. I hear you, and I\u2019ll try to do better. I\u2019ll try to love you even though I think \u2014 with love \u2014 that you\u2019re a little weird for not cursing, and that you are different from me, and that you are imperfect and a little condescending. I agree to give you the benefit of the doubt, and to not roll my eyes when you lecture me in the comments. I commit to really trying to hear your heart, and more importantly, to respect your heart. I promise I\u2019ll try to do better.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Please know I\u2019m really not sure I can stop cursing. In fact, I probably won\u2019t. But I\u2019ll try to do better, if you will.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Okay, friends, let\u2019s gather round. We need to have a chat. I\u2019m from Jersey, so I deal straight up, and I invite you to do the same. Let\u2019s talk about the fact that I curse and the tiny little hubbub it caused on this post. Stick with me \u2014 you may be a little surprised […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2799,"featured_media":1635,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1629","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-other-stuff"],"yoast_head":"\n
Christians Who Curse: Why I Do It, When I Won't<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Okay, friends, let's gather round. We need to have a chat. I'm from Jersey, so I deal straight up, and I invite you to do the same. Let's talk about the\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Christians Who Curse: Why I Do It, When I Won't\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Okay, friends, let's gather round. We need to have a chat. I'm from Jersey, so I deal straight up, and I invite you to do the same. Let's talk about the\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Jerseygirl, JESUS\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-02-28T21:38:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/710\/2017\/02\/mouth2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"389\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"325\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kerry Connelly\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kerry Connelly\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/\",\"name\":\"Christians Who Curse: Why I Do It, When I Won't\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2017-02-28T21:38:56+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-02-28T21:38:56+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/#\/schema\/person\/acc424ad1be88aef9152dbf609ef640b\"},\"description\":\"Okay, friends, let's gather round. We need to have a chat. I'm from Jersey, so I deal straight up, and I invite you to do the same. Let's talk about the\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Christians Who Curse: Why I Do It, When I Won’t\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/\",\"name\":\"Jerseygirl, JESUS\",\"description\":\"Faith. With attitude.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/#\/schema\/person\/acc424ad1be88aef9152dbf609ef640b\",\"name\":\"Kerry Connelly\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7126e4bfd27d4551fc6e0cb1193e4cb8?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7126e4bfd27d4551fc6e0cb1193e4cb8?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Kerry Connelly\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/author\/kconnelly\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Christians Who Curse: Why I Do It, When I Won't","description":"Okay, friends, let's gather round. We need to have a chat. I'm from Jersey, so I deal straight up, and I invite you to do the same. Let's talk about the","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Christians Who Curse: Why I Do It, When I Won't","og_description":"Okay, friends, let's gather round. We need to have a chat. I'm from Jersey, so I deal straight up, and I invite you to do the same. Let's talk about the","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/","og_site_name":"Jerseygirl, JESUS","article_published_time":"2017-02-28T21:38:56+00:00","og_image":[{"width":389,"height":325,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/710\/2017\/02\/mouth2.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Kerry Connelly","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Kerry Connelly","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/","name":"Christians Who Curse: Why I Do It, When I Won't","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/#website"},"datePublished":"2017-02-28T21:38:56+00:00","dateModified":"2017-02-28T21:38:56+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/#\/schema\/person\/acc424ad1be88aef9152dbf609ef640b"},"description":"Okay, friends, let's gather round. We need to have a chat. I'm from Jersey, so I deal straight up, and I invite you to do the same. Let's talk about the","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/christians-curse-wont\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Christians Who Curse: Why I Do It, When I Won’t"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/","name":"Jerseygirl, JESUS","description":"Faith. With attitude.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/#\/schema\/person\/acc424ad1be88aef9152dbf609ef640b","name":"Kerry Connelly","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7126e4bfd27d4551fc6e0cb1193e4cb8?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/7126e4bfd27d4551fc6e0cb1193e4cb8?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","caption":"Kerry Connelly"},"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/author\/kconnelly\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1629","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2799"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1629"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1629\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1635"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1629"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1629"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jerseygirljesus\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1629"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}