Yesterday\u2019s post emphasized intersubjectivity<\/em> as central to forgiveness. Today we want to look at Sandage and Shults\u2019 The Faces of Forgiveness<\/em> and the issues of \u201csaving face\u201d, what the faces in a \u201cface to face\u201d look like, at \u201csystemic estrangement,\u201d relational hermeneutics, and a model of the forgiveness process. What\u2019s on your face when you are estranged? How do you treat the other when you don\u2019t want forgiveness? Yesterday\u2019s post emphasized intersubjectivity as central to forgiveness. Today we want to look at Sandage and Shults\u2019 The Faces of Forgiveness and the issues of \u201csaving face\u201d, what the faces in a \u201cface to face\u201d look like, at \u201csystemic estrangement,\u201d relational hermeneutics, and a model of the forgiveness process. What\u2019s on your face when you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1735],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weekly-meanderings"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nThere\u2019s a lot here, and there\u2019s a lot of good things here. I hope you buy this book, even if it requires serious attention.
\nResearch shows that there are faces of conflict, faces of violence and faces of intimacy. I thought of putting \u201csmileys\u201d here, but am not sure I could genuinely match the faces.
\nSystemic estrangement \u2014 that\u2019s the real issue, isn\u2019t it? A passing problem with someone can blow over us and by us and we can be restored; but systemic estrangement requires work. Put this on some list near your desk<\/strong>, especially husbands and wives. Estrangement is developed by:
\nTotalizing the other: he\u2019s nothing but a jerk.
\nScapegoating: a person is blamed for all the group\u2019s problems.
\nExclusion: otherness either by banishment or by absorption.
\nSelf-surveillance: inner sense of being watched (driven by guilt).
\nNarcissistic families: blame is everyone else.
\nTo deal with all of this, we develop a system of attribution: we attribute blame to the other, and we develop stories of facework (confession, excuse, justification, refusal).
\nForgiveness, then, has two other networks that shape it: our religious identity and the role of sacred faces (how we envision God\u2019s face).
\nSo, here\u2019s a model of forgiveness: we go through three phases. First, we engage in lament; second, we encourage empathy and humility; third, we extend our narrative horizons to include the other.
\nWow, there\u2019s a lot here, but I think this is very good stuff for us to ponder and to factor into our understanding of forgiveness. No better topic as we approach Holy Week.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"