{"id":26392,"date":"2012-03-19T10:15:46","date_gmt":"2012-03-19T15:15:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/?p=26392"},"modified":"2012-03-17T07:17:17","modified_gmt":"2012-03-17T12:17:17","slug":"divorce-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce Advice"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

By Russell Moore<\/a><\/strong>:<\/p>\n

\n

Dear Dr. Moore,<\/em><\/h2>\n

My wife and I are at an impasse. There\u2019s been no abandonment, no sexual immorality, and no abuse. We just don\u2019t get along. We shouldn\u2019t have married. We should have known we are incompatible. I know God hates divorce but I don\u2019t have any other option. My pastor and some Christian counselors have told me that while God hates divorce, this is the lesser of two evils because God doesn\u2019t want me to be miserable. What do you think?<\/em><\/p>\n

Married but Miserable<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Miserable,<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I think (and I\u2019m paraphrasing a pastor friend of mine here). With \u201cChristian\u201d\u00a0pastors<\/a> and counselors like these, who needs demons?<\/p>\n

Divorce isn\u2019t about you, and it\u2019s not just about your\u00a0marriage<\/a>. Divorce is the repudiation of a covenant. It doesn\u2019t start anything over again. It instead defaces the icon God has embedded in the creation of the union between Christ and his church (Eph. 5:22-31) .<\/p>\n

I do believe that there are exceptions to Jesus\u2019 prohibition against divorce: namely unrepentant sexual immorality or abandonment by a gospel-repudiating spouse. Neither of these, according to you, are present here and so you do not have reason to leave.<\/p>\n

I plead with you to reconsider this and to understand that when you give account before the Judgment Seat of Christ, these \u201ccounselors\u201d you have around you will not be present, and their cowardly justifications for sin will ring quite hollow.<\/p>\n

Does God want you to be miserable? Long-term, no. And that\u2019s why God has designed marriage as a life-long covenant signaling the gospel of Jesus Christ. In the long-term, God wants you to be deliriously happy. But by long-term, I mean the next trillion years, and beyond. In the short-term, one often must bear difficulty and, yes, even misery. Remaining faithful to a wife you wish you hadn\u2019t married might seem miserable to you, but taking up a cross and following Jesus is \u201cmiserable,\u201d in the short-run. That\u2019s why the Book of Hebrews presents the life of faith in terms of not receiving what was promised (Heb. 11:39), but seeing it and embracing it from afar.<\/p>\n

If you take the nuclear option of divorce off the table, you might find that you and your wife have more reason to seek help with your problems and make this work. But even if your marriage never becomes what you thought it might be, it is worth it to stand by your words and maintain fidelity to the wife of your\u00a0youth<\/a>.<\/p>\n

What God has joined together, let no man separate (Mk. 10:9). And that includes the \u201cshepherds\u201d whose craven counsel leads to simply more chewable mutton for the wolves.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Russell Moore: Dear Dr. Moore, My wife and I are at an impasse. There\u2019s been no abandonment, no sexual immorality, and no abuse. We just don\u2019t get along. We shouldn\u2019t have married. We should have known we are incompatible. I know God hates divorce but I don\u2019t have any other option. My pastor and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1756],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26392","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-and-marriage"],"yoast_head":"\nDivorce Advice<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"By Russell Moore: Dear Dr. Moore, My wife and I are at an impasse. There's been no abandonment, no sexual immorality, and no abuse. We just don't get\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Divorce Advice\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Russell Moore: Dear Dr. Moore, My wife and I are at an impasse. There's been no abandonment, no sexual immorality, and no abuse. We just don't get\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Jesus Creed\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-03-19T15:15:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-03-17T12:17:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Scot McKnight\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Scot McKnight\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/\",\"name\":\"Divorce Advice\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-03-19T15:15:46+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-03-17T12:17:17+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#\/schema\/person\/5919e847c58ffe6efb5899fb61797252\"},\"description\":\"By Russell Moore: Dear Dr. Moore, My wife and I are at an impasse. There's been no abandonment, no sexual immorality, and no abuse. We just don't get\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Divorce Advice\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/\",\"name\":\"Jesus Creed\",\"description\":\"Scot McKnight on Jesus and orthodox faith in the 21st century\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#\/schema\/person\/5919e847c58ffe6efb5899fb61797252\",\"name\":\"Scot McKnight\",\"description\":\"Scot McKnight is a recognized authority on the New Testament, early Christianity, and the historical Jesus. McKnight, author of more than fifty books, is the Professor of New Testament at Northern Seminary in Lombard, IL.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/author\/scotmcknight\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Divorce Advice","description":"By Russell Moore: Dear Dr. Moore, My wife and I are at an impasse. There's been no abandonment, no sexual immorality, and no abuse. We just don't get","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Divorce Advice","og_description":"By Russell Moore: Dear Dr. Moore, My wife and I are at an impasse. There's been no abandonment, no sexual immorality, and no abuse. We just don't get","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/","og_site_name":"Jesus Creed","article_published_time":"2012-03-19T15:15:46+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-03-17T12:17:17+00:00","author":"Scot McKnight","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Scot McKnight","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/","name":"Divorce Advice","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-03-19T15:15:46+00:00","dateModified":"2012-03-17T12:17:17+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#\/schema\/person\/5919e847c58ffe6efb5899fb61797252"},"description":"By Russell Moore: Dear Dr. Moore, My wife and I are at an impasse. There's been no abandonment, no sexual immorality, and no abuse. We just don't get","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/03\/19\/divorce-advice\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Divorce Advice"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/","name":"Jesus Creed","description":"Scot McKnight on Jesus and orthodox faith in the 21st century","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#\/schema\/person\/5919e847c58ffe6efb5899fb61797252","name":"Scot McKnight","description":"Scot McKnight is a recognized authority on the New Testament, early Christianity, and the historical Jesus. McKnight, author of more than fifty books, is the Professor of New Testament at Northern Seminary in Lombard, IL.","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/author\/scotmcknight\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26392","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26392"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26392\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}