There is another woman in my 6-year-old daughter\u2019s life.<\/p>\n
She writes messages on bumblebee note paper. She has a puppet friend named Millie, who helps my daughter learn the alphabet.<\/p>\n
Over the past nine months, she probably has been the single most influential person in Neva\u2019s life outside of her own family. And although I am embarrassed to admit it, I met her for the first time at a parent-teacher conference in early May, roughly a month before the end of the school year.<\/p>\n
As a former overachieving nerd girl of the \u201980s, it didn\u2019t feel good. In a society that still seems to embrace an image of motherhood that is more June Cleaver and less Murphy Brown, it\u2019s hard to resist the feeling that you\u2019re coming up short if you don\u2019t sacrifice your career at the altar of parenthood\u2026.<\/p>\n
It all hit home one weekend this spring when I took Neva to a birthday party for one of her classmates. A group of moms stood together chatting about school activities that I didn\u2019t even realize I had missed, and teachers and administrators that I had never met. Suddenly, I felt like I was back in high school. Only this time, instead of failing on the social scene, I was failing at something much bigger and more important. I was getting a D-minus in the mom department.<\/p>\n
In my head, I knew it wasn\u2019t entirely true. Unlike my mother, my work involves a demanding travel schedule, and the deadline schedule required by my job can be brutal at times.<\/p>\n
Besides, my husband, Clay, is a stay-at-home parent, and is more involved. He volunteers in Neva\u2019s classroom once or twice a month and is one of the few fathers who does so.<\/p>\n
Clay says that I worry too much and that I shouldn\u2019t be so hard on myself. \u201cYou\u2019re doing something important for the family,\u201d he told me one day when I asked him if he thought it was strange that I hadn\u2019t met Neva\u2019s teacher\u2026.<\/p>\n
I realize she\u2019s probably right. It isn\u2019t really that important to Neva that I am involved at all in her school life, especially when she has such inspiring teachers and an actively involved father. I am an integral part of her life in many other ways that are equally, if not more, important, and it\u2019s more of my own hangup that leaves me feeling guilty.<\/p>\n
Still, my heart doesn\u2019t rationalize so easily. And if I\u2019m totally honest with myself, I also realize that there were times when I just failed to prioritize.<\/p>\n
So next year, I am going to try my best to do a better job planning. I realize I will never be the one leading an internal coup at the PTA. I will probably not be the first call on the emergency-alert phone tree.<\/p>\n
However, I am going to try to arrange my schedule so I can try to show up at least a bit more for important school events. I\u2019m also determined that I\u2019m going to meet my daughter\u2019s teacher when school starts, and not when it ends.<\/p>\n
And even if I still end up with a less-than-perfect attendance record, I\u2019m going to try to leave the guilt behind.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Laura Kreutzer reflects on what it means to her \u2014 as a mother \u2014 not to be available for her children: There is another woman in my 6-year-old daughter\u2019s life. She writes messages on bumblebee note paper. She has a puppet friend named Millie, who helps my daughter learn the alphabet. Over the past nine […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29747","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
Heartfelt and Serious<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Laura Kreutzer reflects on what it means to her -- as a mother -- not to be available for her children: There is another woman in my 6-year-old daughter's\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Heartfelt and Serious\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Laura Kreutzer reflects on what it means to her -- as a mother -- not to be available for her children: There is another woman in my 6-year-old daughter's\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Jesus Creed\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-06-26T15:34:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-06-25T01:46:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Scot McKnight\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Scot McKnight\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/\",\"name\":\"Heartfelt and Serious\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-06-26T15:34:37+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-06-25T01:46:52+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#\/schema\/person\/5919e847c58ffe6efb5899fb61797252\"},\"description\":\"Laura Kreutzer reflects on what it means to her -- as a mother -- not to be available for her children: There is another woman in my 6-year-old daughter's\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Heartfelt and Serious\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/\",\"name\":\"Jesus Creed\",\"description\":\"Scot McKnight on Jesus and orthodox faith in the 21st century\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#\/schema\/person\/5919e847c58ffe6efb5899fb61797252\",\"name\":\"Scot McKnight\",\"description\":\"Scot McKnight is a recognized authority on the New Testament, early Christianity, and the historical Jesus. McKnight, author of more than fifty books, is the Professor of New Testament at Northern Seminary in Lombard, IL.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/author\/scotmcknight\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Heartfelt and Serious","description":"Laura Kreutzer reflects on what it means to her -- as a mother -- not to be available for her children: There is another woman in my 6-year-old daughter's","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Heartfelt and Serious","og_description":"Laura Kreutzer reflects on what it means to her -- as a mother -- not to be available for her children: There is another woman in my 6-year-old daughter's","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/","og_site_name":"Jesus Creed","article_published_time":"2012-06-26T15:34:37+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-06-25T01:46:52+00:00","author":"Scot McKnight","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Scot McKnight","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/","name":"Heartfelt and Serious","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-06-26T15:34:37+00:00","dateModified":"2012-06-25T01:46:52+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#\/schema\/person\/5919e847c58ffe6efb5899fb61797252"},"description":"Laura Kreutzer reflects on what it means to her -- as a mother -- not to be available for her children: There is another woman in my 6-year-old daughter's","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2012\/06\/26\/heartfelt-and-serious\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Heartfelt and Serious"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/","name":"Jesus Creed","description":"Scot McKnight on Jesus and orthodox faith in the 21st century","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#\/schema\/person\/5919e847c58ffe6efb5899fb61797252","name":"Scot McKnight","description":"Scot McKnight is a recognized authority on the New Testament, early Christianity, and the historical Jesus. McKnight, author of more than fifty books, is the Professor of New Testament at Northern Seminary in Lombard, IL.","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/author\/scotmcknight\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29747","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29747"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29747\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29747"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29747"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29747"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}